Family

[lostgirl75]

I got upset and told my father things that I was upset about. Mainly being that my kids got no attention or special gifts but my half sisters kids did. My step mother turns it around and says I’m bad mouthing her and that I’m no longer welcomed at their house. My father doesn’t know she said this and I also got uninvited to any family get togethers but my son and biological mother do get invited. So they planned Christmas Eve celebration and invited my son and mom so I’d be alone and Christmas Day again they expected my mom and son there so I’d be alone. I just don’t know what to do

[SavingGrace Administrator]

Hi there lostgirl75. I'm really sorry and sad to hear this has happened for you. It's totally ok for you to speak to your father and raise your concerns. To me, it's unfair for a step parent to then address the issue directly to you, without the biological parent present. To also turn it around to be about you, is highly unhelpful and demonstrates a sense of irresponsibility (and immaturity) on their behalf.

Worse still and what really made me sad to read, was how you've been left out this Christmas in the cold, whilst your mother and son have been invited. I'm really hoping that your mother and son turned down this offer, in order to spend the festive period with you - on these special occasions.

Hang in there, girl. Your father will wonder where you are and your step-mother will have to do some explaining to him.... which he might not like/accept hearing.

I've had terrible issues with step-parents.

It's ironic that they are called step-parents really, as they can often fail to "step-up" to the demands and true responsibilities of the role.

Just stick to the truth and facts and keeping calm. It's never worth getting into a pissing contest, with a skunk... as my mother always advises me

[lostgirl75 in reply to SavingGrace]

It’s so hard for me because I had an amazing step father who I consider my real father but he passed away in my arms 3 years ago suddenly and my real father told me he would step up. My stepdad passed away 2 weeks before Christmas and for Christmas I received a check for $50 and my biological son received a tshirt. My spouse received nothing and my step sons nothing and we were a full time family of 6 since 2006. My real dad is very wealthy and my step mother this is important to know. My step sister and her boyfriend of a few months and all her children recieved several gifts each and special big baskets with a ton of gifts for each grandchild.

My stepdad was a trucker and hands on parent attending sports, concerts, and teaching me how to ride my bike and buying me a new bike I really wanted because my step sister had one and I loved it. He treated me the way a real dad would making sure I had new school clothes that I liked and all the costs of raising a kid. My father who made over $200,000 a year paid $75 a month child support and my stepmom made around the same amount of money. My mom never worked outside the home so we were a family of 4 living on one income under $100,000. My father never acted like a dad he was too busy to spend time with us when we visited every second weekend.

I feel like my stepdad was my dad and when he passed away so did those I considered family since I was told I’m not welcomed at my father’s house for family gatherings and traditions but I was expected to buy them gifts and leave the gifts on the porch.

[hypercat54 in reply to lostgirl75]

Hi this is awful and I am so sorry. Are you close to your real dad at all? If so I would get him on his own and tell him what is going on. Obviously don't expect him to pick sides but he should know how you feel.

It is up to him to deal with his wife if he disagrees with her. The other thing too is if he is very wealthy you can bet she has tried to get him to make a will so she and hers get it all. You have nothing to lose after all.