I finally realized and can say

my mom is a narcissist.

last year I got my thyroid balanced for the first time in my 28 years of life and its given me this “extra boost” and eliminated some of my severe brain fog. It started me on a path of realizations (and an identity crisis currently still in progress but is going fine). one of which is that I didn’t realize I was raised by a narcissist and was the invisible kid. I always knew something didn’t feel right with my relationship with my parents but I was so deep in my mom’s pocket practically idolizing her, I never even considered she was doing anything wrong.

I kinda feel dumb that I didn’t realize that wrong feeling was because I was being gas lighted the entire time but try to remember that I was gas lighted so I cant blame for that. I was never able to talk about what was going on in my life with anyone without being invalidated, gas lighted or given unsolicited and useless advice, especially with my mom. I was raised to think my feelings dont matter and I really kept everything to myself for the most part so finally realizing and admitting that my mom is a narcissist is...relieving. I dont want anyones pity, I just want to talk candidly about it because im no good at telling it any other way and im just so exhausted having to lie that im ok, downplay it and keep everything to myself. took me a year to get past my “conditioning” to be able to accept and say my mom is a narcissist without gas lighting myself.

anyone else in a similar situation?

Im so glad my doctor decided to test my thyroid.

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi kara951,

That's a huge realization and admitting it can be very validating. There is a thought about the role of a "healing witness" in trauma therapy and it means having someone witness something we share, it can be anonymous over the phone or with a therapist.

It says that if someone else hears you then a healing process starts taking place because the body has its own wisdom.

I'm so glad you got your thyroid checked and in balance, that is so important and strangely so many of us get impacted by a thyroid condition...

Thank you for your honest sharing.

Sending you lots of support on this breakthrough.

[Hidden in reply to Nathalie99]

it certainly feels like a huge realization. im not sure what you mean by “if someone else hears you then a healing process starts taking place because the body has its own wisdom”.

I appreciate the support. thank ‘you’ for replying because when people dont, I automatically assume i shared too much or said it “wrong” and I want to delete it.

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to Hidden]

Hi Kara,

What I mean is that telling about what happened to someone else can have a healing effect because it is like shining a light on it.

I understand what you mean about when people don't reply as it is a very vulnerable feeling but often it's because something else is happening. I've been travelling the whole day and that's why I haven't replied earlier.

My mother was a narcissist too and was physically and emotionally abusive.

You are not alone...