I hope some can give me some advice on what to do. My husband of 2 years has a severe child sexual abuse history by a male friend. He’s also in the military. Two weeks ago he left because “he’s a bad person, I can find someone better and he can deal with the thoughts in his head if he’s alone” He’s never out right said he wanted a divorce but he did tell me that he didn’t want to be with my and that he’d stopped loving me while I was visiting family 4 weeks ago. During that trip he was texting me that he loved me, missed me and would never do anything to jeopardize our marriage. Now that he’s gone we don’t talk about anything other than our house (were in the process of moving) or other reasons to contact each other. I should mention that we just moved to a new duty station 2 months ago and a week after we got here is grandpa he was very close to died. Our whole marriage he’s always been very in love with me, always talking about “his wife” even when I was standing right there and his friends would always tell me how much he would talk about me when he was away from me too. Since he left I’ve been reading everything I can regarding supporting someone with ptsd. I’ve made so many mistakes that I didn’t even know I was making. He always acted “normal” for the most part and would only bring things up on occasion. Before the split he brought it to my attention that he thought about the abuse daily. I had no idea at the time what I was supposed to be doing to support him. I didn’t know the problem was that bad. He now no longer talks to family, old friends and has deleted part of his social media. There are two sexual abuse victims in his family and one in mine. I’ve talked to all 3 of them for advise and was told to write him a letter explaining how I never knew what he was going through, how sorry I am about what happened to him and how I’m not giving up or leaving him..that I’m going to fight for our marriage. They also suggested I text him weekly to tell him that I’m here for him and that I love him.
Any advise would be greatly appreciated!
thank you so much!