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My dissociation has carmed down so much but why am I so afraid that something bad will happen like I'm not allowed to be happy

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Micky14
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I've heard it said that PTSD survivors have a "foreshortened sense of the future," meaning they commonly feel a sense of doom or bad things happening. For me, that was just the sense that it was all going to turn out badly and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

Here's a sentence from the definition of PTSD: Persistent (and often distorted) negative beliefs and expectations about oneself or the world (e.g., "I am bad," "The world is completely dangerous").

It's a belief I think we got from being exposed to such a life threatening situation. Oddly, as I have done the recovery work, that belief has weakened for me. I just noticed it in a conversation with a good friend last week.

Micky14 profile image
Micky14 in reply to

Thank u for you reply it's like ur not allowed to enjoy things future things seem scary to me I just to except my feeling each day I'm doing my best thank u makes more sense for me now

in reply to Micky14

You're very welcome, Micky14! I'm glad that helps. I didn't know I did that so much until someone explained that part of PTSD to me. Yup, future was all about scary!

freeandalive1 profile image
freeandalive1Volunteer in reply to

What you are saying, Dan, is good. The feeling of something bad about to happen is right up there with the anxiety and panic symptoms to me. Once I started talking about "things" and was able to share with my husband how I felt like bad things were about to happen but I couldn't put my finger on it, he would remind me that I'm suffering from PTSD symptoms and that it is ok...life is good...I am safe...that feeling of doom feeds the anxiety and the anxiety feeds the feeling of doom...

Did you have a specific exercise or technique you used to walk yourself through those distorted beliefs?

in reply to freeandalive1

You know, freeandalive1, I think I had carried that feeling of doom so long I didn't know it was there. That is wonderful to have your husband reinforcing the positive message.

I'm not sure what exactly has made those beliefs diminished. I have used a lot of tools like affirmations, TRE, and therapy, but I could't point to just one and say "that's what did it." I suspect it was just doing the work and it led to peripheral results like the diminished feeling of doom.

nessa3 profile image
nessa3

Its part of it...we are always in a state of alert ....that we cant deal with calm...peace...its not normal for us so we cant feel greatful for the good times....

Example...because of how I was raised having to be on constant alert from the things my dad would do ....I never trusted any kindness,compliments, because with him it was a set up. So I was afraid to except anything good in order to keep myself protected.

Micky14 profile image
Micky14 in reply to nessa3

Hugs x

Hi Micky

It is because you have already been there. You are more aware than ever and you know how bad it feels. We are all allowed to be happy but we know how crushing ptsd can be. I am nowhere near the end of my isolation and fear. But I appreciate every good day (though not many) that I have. This is because I know how bad the bad days can be.

Sounds like you are doing really well. Your awareness is just more astute than most. Whatever your journey was it has made you realistic. Not such a bad thing. Try and enjoy the calm and be happy.

Margot

Micky14 profile image
Micky14 in reply to

Move had some pretty bad days but now the dissocition has carmed I dnt feel so scared I just worry about everything even how I'm suppose to be feeling on ur bad days smell something strong. Like peppermint or lavender I took a pebble of the sea front I carry it in my pocket every day just feel it I listen to music from utube to help with sleep hope these suggestions help my bad days I would pray On my hands and knees I wouldn't die id cry and cry hugs to u my lovely goods days are close x

in reply to Micky14

:) x

Maybe its that part of you that feels like it's too good to be true

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