I have PTSD

[puppypancakes3]

I didn't know I had it. I thought this was just how depression felt. I never realized I had triggers or that the flood of memories that would only arise with those instances were a symptom of PTSD, not depression. It's like I can't control it, as it comes up at the most I convenient times. These unwanted thoughts and memories pop up without warning. I want it to stop. I just want it all to stop. When will it stop?

[meredithr]

Hey there

I have suffered from major depressive disorder for 15 years. Two years ago I experienced a trauma. I honestly thought my depression was progressing to the point where I was losing it. The flashbacks (which felt like hallucinating) the anger, the irritability. Jumping at every sound and not able to concentrate fully on anything for more than ten minutes.

I got diagnosed with PTSD this July. It’s explained so much. But it doesn’t heal with just the knowledge. Things are very hard. Sending you love and strength

[Shy_Guy]

I have found that each person is different. Some people are able to let go of the trauma faster than others. It takes what it takes. Comparing my recovery with others is always a lose, lose.

I have learned different techniques to deal with my sudden surges of emotions. Slowing down and letting them wash over me and not fighting them seems to really help.

I have a therapist that specializes in PTSD that I talk to about the irrational fears and triggers that keep me stuck. In my case, I have a lot of little traumas over a long period of time so I found I have to take each one at a time when my psyche is ready to deal with them. Sometime I think I have dealt with most of them and another will crop up. Sometimes the old ones resurface even though I thought I had dealt with them already.

I think overall they just get smaller and less frequent. Life has to go on and for me PTSD has been with me so long that it is part of my life, whether I want to have it or not.

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi puppypancakes3,

Welcome to the community.

It sounds like somatic symptoms of those memories coming up to the surface.

It's the nervous system reacting to what is happening.

I didn't know that I had PTSD either, for a long time, because I didn't want to remember certain things and thought I would just be fine. But no matter how much I kept the appearances of functioning and holding on to my job, my sport activities and everything that meant a lot to me, I wasn't able to hold it together.

It took years to figure out what's going on and the best approach.

Each situation is unique and different things help different people. Some need medication, some therapy others just use coping mechanisms without therapy.

It's up to you what you feel has the most potential for alleviate symptoms and maybe get to the root of your symptoms.

You need to decide what feel right. Whether you feel the best option is to confront the root causes or learn coping ways around it like avoiding triggers and making your life more sheltered.

You know your situation best...you are the expert in your recovery.

I think from what you shared, it would be beneficial talking to a trauma therapist about your symptoms and let them see if they make a PTSD diagnosis but the most important thing is finding someone who will know how to help you in an empathetic way.

Traditional psychotherapy wont work in case of trauma.

I really wish that your symptoms will diminish as my symptoms did get better over time. They come and go but I believe in recovery.

It's just those difficult times are hard to get through.

We are here to support you.