Still Struggling

[DZRM]

I was in a relationship for a year and a half. When we met, he expressed a desire to know what I’ve been through so that he could supposedly understand me. I shared as he showed me consistency, kindness, love like I haven’t experienced before. I’ve survived childhood abuse and neglect and same scenarios in pretty much every relationship I’ve had. I’m barely beginning to break free from the cycle. So my boyfriend after all this time starts distancing himself from me and yet never having the courage to have a heart to heart conversation He started getting verbally abusive and careless with words and their impact. Last we talked I was getting really triggered and upset and when I called, he turned his phone off. Haven’t spoken since. It’s the most cruel thing he could have done, abandon me like that. I believed his bullshit about how he had my back. I’m feeling like I don’t have anybody which I don’t really because my family and I aren’t connected, I can’t be connected with them for the sake of my recovery. I don’t have anyone close. I hate this. I hate that I can never trust people.

[Nathalie99 Partner]

I am so sorry this happened to you, DZRM.

This is truly terrible. I am so sorry you are left on your own and not understanding what is going on.

I really feel for you, understand your fear.

Regardless of what happened, you deserve good self care. I know it's not the same but even when you are on your own, you can try doing some activities like going for walks or anything that can give you a break from feeling those horrible feelings.

I used to go for bike rides and walking. Being curious about the different places really helped me think of something else

Also, I developed a hobby.

It didn't take the pain away but at least I had moments of concentrating on something else and some direction to go on.

Sending you a virtual hug...

[Nathalie99 Partner]

P.S. Weekends are difficult and I understand not having support from family. It usually is the case when trying to reach out, people not responding.

I know that online support is not enough sometimes and we live all around the world and can't respond immediately.

If you need to talk, you can also try to reach out to one of the helplines in your country. They are for different things.

Here is the list from our pinned posts:

healthunlocked.com/healmypt...

[56artist_]

Boy u sound like me abusive relationship not good if he is verbally abusive it is better you don't talk it will only bring you down better off without him being alone is way better than abuse I have been in you boat too so long story short he is not good for you

[stbernard1]

I am really sorry you have experienced so many horrible things in your life. I am sure that openeing up to someone and being hurt by them too is very difficult. I would definitely suggest counseling. I think having someone safe to talk to is invaluable. I will be praying for you to find the support you need and healing. Hugs!

[Agara33]

I’m so sorry, this makes me so angry.. .i dont know if you have any desire to, but if you want you can write him a letter asserting how you feel—not in order to get any response, just so that you know that you don’t accept this and it isn’t ok and its him that has done something awful and cruel. I don’t know why it’s like this but it seams we live in a world where we have to be careful to who we open up to. We are with you

[st_jimmy]

I totally get it...I'm so sorry you're going through that. Just sending love...