I get self loathing with being triggered. Comes with the terror, rage, dissociation.
Don't know why. Mostly when the dissociation happens. Then I feel very bad about myself. That I could not control my feelings. I know I need to probably thank my mind or some phenomena for taking over when it is all too much. A terrifying situation that started in my mind in childhood that my mind dealt with by giving me some way out.
I am confused lately and all sorts of triggers.
Don't know what is the safest path to take and feel my survival is at stake with every decision.
I need to calm down and meditate.