I can empathize with your situation this shock of pain, I get that all the time and when people can't see it they don't know how to fix, so the Doctors say well that will go away in time some cases it does in others it doesn't. When this pain comes it's horrid and things for that moment things are messed right up, then things seem to go alright for a couple of seconds then you flare up then you start to get annoyed with yourself depression sets in then, your given more pills because the Doctors don't know what to do. You'll never be the same again and you want things back the way they we're. Seems like an impossibility so far gone that to get it back is not enough and people have had enough of your Pain. You want the pain to disappear but it doesn't happen the way you'll want it to then those good feeling you had and now are gone well the body can adapt it's you that can't because you hurt so much. I've been dealing with PTSD sence along time, most of my life.

The thought's don't stop you blame yourself all the time when you think about living a different way your stone wall says to you put up with it and life happens.

I honestly can't remember when the last time was that I felt like I fit in, was it because my everything is missing. Things that were aren't anymore people forget and at that time you think you forget but something always brings you back to well if I had of. It's out of your control when you look at the good and the bad . The bad always wins but give the good time to come in and let those bad memories blow away like dust. It's hard but you'll make new ones but you'll always remember that one great one you let go and that's the one that will not come back you want it to but things are different now those memories need to blow away that's growing pains. People are the shits at times telling you this and that trying to make you think you don't need that someone but only if you could let them know the memory you once had is gone and you've tried to gain it back and can't well if it was meant to be it will but don't change feet to suit your asshole just find a better way to go about it. Now I might have said a whole lot of nothing and it may not make sense

to a lot of people but to though's of you who think that no one understands, in someones confused state they will think hey wait I read some where that their's a guy out their that feel's the same way I do but then your individuality will speak up and say well you know and that's ok because your you and don't let anyone tell you different. Things happened the way they did because they did you want them back bad enough you'll get it. LOVE ALWAYS PREVAILS...... So don't give up.


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