Bad day....

[itsmytime]

I had a bad day today. I thought it was going good but sometimes I get the feeling people don't really listen to me. Like I say something bothers me in a nice way for so long before I let it build up and boom. I wish it didn't have to get to that point for me to get my point across. It really wears me down to a point I can't take. I try so hard just to let things go and I guess it just hurts to think no matter how hard I try to explain most don't get me. On top of the great start of this day a poor little baby bird died and seeing it just kind of crushed me. It's kind of hard to un see something like that. Then to watch the poor parents search by chirping to hear a response but hear none. It was awful ... just makes me sad. I really woke up thinking it was going to be a good day too. Disappointed and I always have such a hard time getting images like that out of my head. I just hate all of this negative stuff .... I need it to go away soon. On top of that I met someone who said something about ending their life if someone they were close to dies. It just so happens that the person more likely then not unfortunately will pass if everything they said was true. It hits me like a ton of bricks to think about. I tried reaching out and giving this site because of a past ptsd like all of us but no response. I just feel so overwhelmed.

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi,

I think it is quite serious situation and I know it is overwhelming and I just wanted to share this website with you how to help this other person:

helpguide.org/articles/suic...

It might be too much for you to take on and deal with. I know that there are hotlines for US and UK and probably Canada too that you can call to ask what you should do in that situation and just talk about it.

Having someone suicidal is such a heavy weight to carry alone that it's better to have support yourself while trying to reach out and help this person.

Maybe there are support groups for people who's loved one is very ill, grief counselling or anything like that that you can recommend to this person.

In my local hospital we have something called info point. A place when people can ask all sorts of information, about support groups, dealing with certain illness etc.

Sometimes help is available very close by but being in high emotions makes it difficult to research and find resources.

Those things you describe they are very sad, but those emotions will pass. Now it's difficult but with time it's going to be less.

I don't know if it helps to find a funny website full of jokes or something like that to think of something else a bit.

Not sure how to best support you in this. But you are not alone.

[Lindyloo53 Volunteer in reply to Nathalie99]

It is a horrendous burden to have someone discuss suicide with you. Unfortunately it has been part of my own history by feeling suicidal and I agree get support for yourself but also let the person who is suicidal know this is the one thing you won't keep a confidence about and make sure you ring their doctor or a hotline and tell someone. I'm very glad I never succeeded in completing suicide now but at the time I believe I was not in control enough to stop myself attempting it. I have lost a number of family members to suicide and it's one confidence I won't keep and am grateful the person I to,d rang my doctor as if he hadn't have received that call and sent emergency services to my place the outcome would have been fatal.

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to Lindyloo53]

I'm sorry that you have gone through so much.....

I have been around suicidal persons and had to help them and I find it very important to know those rules, how to talk to someone, what not to say, what to do etc.

But even after everything goes well, it is still so much to deal with and it is overwhelming. I needed to talk to someone myself afterwards but found noone really. So I didn't talk at all. Even wanted to post on the forum that I'm trying to help someone and I need support myself but thought it could have been too triggering so I never said a word to anyone...

[itsmytime in reply to Lindyloo53]

I reached out twice with no response so I am not sure what to do. I only met her once for 2 hrs. It bothers me. I know she said she was friends with many doctors and nurses . She used to be in the medical field herself. I gave her my number and she promised me she wouldn't do anything. I reminded her there are people and her pets who depend on her. I have been down that road before so that's why I did want to hear her out when we did meet. I know sometimes just listening can change a lot.

[itsmytime in reply to Nathalie99]

I gave her my number and wrote her on fb with no response. I only met her one time for 2hrs and she used to be in the medical profession . She supposedly knows many doctors and nurses. I am not sure what else to do.

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to itsmytime]

I think you did good and it's kind of you, offering your number and checking if she was okay.

Sometimes all that's needed is a feeling that someone feels supported because someone cares...it's hard to know for sure but that hopefully helps.

[Lindyloo53 Volunteer]

I'm really sorry you feel overwhelmed. Sounds like something I would feel with everything you have going on around you. It's often the final thing that tips me over and the final thing is often not so big in the scheme of things. There is a lot of build ups in your post. Sometimes for me I can have a lit of build ups to then I might crumble at losing a pen or something that simple but when I work backwards I can see the crumble actually was as a result of cumulative events. I hope things ease off for you quickly. Be gentle with yourself.

[Lindyloo53 Volunteer]

I also think you did great. I wonder how it would have been if you had have been able to say, look I'm not trained in this field of work lets sit here and list other people you could talk to or ring. My reason for saying this is you. Said that's why I didn't want to hear her out when we did meet. This shows me that a powerful protective part of yourself was present but that you ignored it in favour of doing the opposite. That protective part of yourself needs building up and listening to. When we have suffered trauma ourselves those protective parts are all but crushed so I do see something good in this, your protective part is still alive. It is a wise and nurturing part of yourself. You would not have been wrong in listening to it and you could have still offered help by way of writing a list of others the person could contact. I would celebrate that protective part and start making friends with it.

[Lindyloo53 Volunteer]

That reply was for it's time btw.

[itsmytime in reply to Lindyloo53]

No I did want to hear her out cause I do know what it's like . Although I did want to be supportive I also knew she had many connections with doctors and nurses so I felt safe in a way knowing that. These people are aware of her condition as they helped her get into inpatient treatment before. I just felt I needed to have a little distance as I need help too. She also has her husbands family / kids/ grandkids so I know she is not alone. I also think she needed to vent and say things aloud to an audience who hadn't heard her story before. Doing that can help if others you are close too have heard it too many times for it to sink in they are needing to be heard. Your right though my wall is up with getting too involved in a situation I know nothing about . That is a part of my ptsd not trusting those I don't know. I used to be nieve and trust everyone. Now I cannot be that way after what I have been through.

[Lindyloo53 Volunteer in reply to itsmytime]

There is nothing wrong with being self protective in fact I think it's great to be this way. There was a time when I felt I had to be all things to all people. I'm not saying that's how you feel but I have learned for me to stop stuff just happening to me. After all trauma seemed to just happen to me. So if I'm not feeling strong I would say look here are some numbers of different organisation who may be able to help you. I'm glad that you have that protective part starting to want to protect your own personal space. Nurture it, so many times I have fallen into the trap of being used as a dumping ground for other people's feelings and then I have resented them for dumping in me. I'm learning to nurture my protective part as well. We are on a journey....we will make the finish line...