Commuication issue with therapist

A little while ago I wrote about a commuication issue with my therapist. I had emailed her ( at her request) and she didn't reply. I was very pissed of to put it mildly, so we discussed it at our next session. And it started the weirdest couple of sessions. Strange things happened to both of us when we tried to commuicate, my internet crashed and I had to go to a friends house. She spilt water on her laptop and had to wait for it to dry out. So we sorted that out.

We also discussed the fact that in some of our session both of us seemed to be more in tune with the younger part of ourselves and we were playing more than working, because I'm sitting in the theraphy room listening to myself talk and I'm thinking WTF am I saying, I am acting like a 5 year old. The dynamic in the room kept changing.

So there was a lot of "mad" stuff going on but at least we had sorted the commuication stuff. Or so I thought.

I journal a lot and I found that durning the session I would have things I wanted to say but for some strange reason I would not be allowed to say them, it was if a part had taken over. So the email allows us access to information that I cannot verbalise and my T is astounded at how I describe how I cope and how her lack of reply affects me and my inner children. So the emails are very important.

But again this week she didn't reply for almost 24 hours and my inner child went ballistic, until she called me in person to apologise, there had been a family emergency and she didn't see the email. My inner child settled, but I wrote about how I went from being an emotional wreck to ya I'm fine once she made contact. This was huge for me because it was the first time I admitted to being vulnerable ( mother daughter issue).

The final part of this post is my acceptance that our theraphy hour had become 3 D, that is both of us have connected on a subconscious level and we are picking up vibes and feeling of each other.

Has anyone else gone through anything like this. And just to be clear I am not talking about me thinking my T is the bees knees, I'm picking up on her childhood issues.

8 Replies

  • It's scary when you realize that therapists are as crazy or weird as anyone else. They just have knowledge of psychology from a clinical point of view.

  • It drives me crazy! I know she knows what I am thinking, but yet, she plays "dumb" or I think I told you that already! Pay attention. Yes, I get it that she want's me to be the one to talk about it, or acknowledge this or that. She's already gone through her therapy. Yes, Perfect the lack of acknowledgement drives me, or should I say use to drive me nuts. Yes, I guess now that I think about it, it is a inner child thing too. My T told me never to expect a reply, so if she does, it's just a bonus. But for the most part I send it and forget it. Which would be a good thing for me. I try and not read into things so much. I would obsess over things. Now I just tell myself, they probably didn't see it. Or got busy doing something. After all we all have done that. I read something, then have to dash, and tell myself, I well reply when I get back, then life...... Anyhow. Thanks for your post Perfect, you helped me identify and inner child behaviour.

  • Yes i can understand what you are saying as you are relating on a very deep level in therapy and yes so you will be aware of this side of your therapist too. Don't forget thought that the therapy is there for you; you may be aware of stuff going on for her but she is paid and is in the job to help you with your issues so remember to let her take care of her own issues elsewhere.

    Gemma x

  • Get a new therapist! She sounds unprofessional at best. Her phone has access to internet. Her phone works. In todays world, there is zero excuse for not calling a client. Period.

    Her 'childhood' has no place in a therapy environment. That should have been processed long before she 'set-up' her therapy practice.

    Just sayin'.

  • Hi thanks to all who have replied. This is a difficult area, I don't have a problem with working with my T. It's the fact that I seem to be able to have accessed this unconious awareness of her world just as she as a T can access my world that is freaking me out. What I sussed out was not verbalised, rather I sensed it and asked her. She just told me the truth. It's that inner psychic power that I am asking about. When in that intense psychodynamic world very intense stuff can happen. Has tis happened to anyone else is what I am asking?

  • Hi are you referring to the unconscious transference/counter transference which can happen in therapy or something different? Either way the therapist is trained to pick up on this and to keep suitable boundaries with their responses - even though the one I visited didn't!

  • Yes it is the unconscious transference/ counter transference that I am talking about. I just started with this lady about 6 months ago, she works more with what my body is feeling when we talk about certain things (which has never been done with me before, I have had over 20 years of the medical model before I decided to do my own research and changed my own treatment). This has led to finding my inner guide and all of my parts which got stuck at various stages of my childhood.

    Again all new, but I seem to have activated some sort of sixth sense around people and places. It kina of creepy. I can sense a lot of hurt and pain in her own childhood, so when time asked she simply said that what I was feeling was correct. We didn't go into details, but yet I knew stuff.

  • Thanks, as long as that doesn't impede your own healing and feeling that it could be too painful for her. In hindsight I had to hold back with my therapist because her boundaries were not in place - didn't want to upset her by challenging her. New to me also so will be interested to hear how you get on. Good luck!

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