Hopeful but scared...

[eli2a]

Hi all, never really understood my anger or other symptoms till recently, i have been on a long journey of recovery but still get anxious, flashback, nightmares (when i can sleep) but my anger still really scares me...i go somewhere else, hear , see things that arent there which ive only just accepted, sorry to babble but any ideas folks ?? blessings and peace 2 all u survivours out there xx

[MicheleR Founder]

Eli, anger is a very normal response after trauma. It is a survival mechanism: technically, anger is a response to perceived threat or danger. Learning more about anger and how it functions in PTSD, plus how to reduce it can really help relieve some of how it makes you feel.

Take a look at the series on anger that begins here:

healmyptsd.com/2014/07/ptsd...

And check out these expert interviews on ways to reduce anger:

changeyouchoose.com/anger-a...

changeyouchoose.com/how-to-...

Rage used to be a BIG problem for me, but I can tell you from experience it is possible to lessen and even eradicate it.

[eli2a in reply to MicheleR]

wow this has been really heplfull, thanks so much, i appreciate all advice and will be sure to use what works

[MicheleR Founder in reply to eli2a]

I'm so glad the info was useful! The more we understand and stop fearing/hating our behavior the more we can reclaim control over it. Here's to the new you....

[Hidden]

Hi eli2a,

I discovered a while back that I wasn't afraid of anyone else's anger as much as I was my own. It felt like if I ever pulled the cork on it, it would never stop, so I do get it. I did a LOT of anger work, and things are amazingly different now. Glad you are here and talking, Anxious, flashbacks, nightmares, inability to sleep - I've experienced them all. I think you're in the right place to find resources, solutions, and a safe place to talk.

[eli2a in reply to Hidden]

phew...seems i am in the right place and leaarning its not just me helps massively, thank you

[Hidden in reply to eli2a]

Glad you're here, eli2a, yes, I think this forum will help a lot. A big part of it is that we're not alone, it's not just me, and there are others who "get it." You're very welcome.

[eli2a in reply to Hidden]

yes true the "others get it" has been the biggest revalation to me, although i do think someone like me shouldn't /couldn't have so much anger but seems so .

[Hidden in reply to eli2a]

I hear you - I didn't even think I had a lot of anger, until it started to surface. Then the sources of the anger started to emerge, and it made sense why I had so much anger built up. Letting it go, well, that was a whole different process, and just took as long as it took.

[GeminiDancer Major Contributor]

I've done a lot of trauma work and yet my anger never seems to end. I wish I could let it all go I think it's because it took so very many years to even get down to the layer of the rage. I'd turned it in on myself for so long and always protected my abuser (father). My therapist worked for years to get me in touch with my anger. I was so brainwashed for so long. But then once I discovered it, it seems a never ending resovoir. I do believe we have to face it and experience it in order to heal. You've found a forum of people who truly get it and are always hear to listen and support you. Understanding your symptoms is an extremely liberating start!

[eli2a in reply to GeminiDancer]

u really have surprised me and i thank you for that, ill keep on working if nothing else other than to eradicate any effect of my abuse and get good at bein me, thanks again

[NatureLove]

Have found most of my bad dreams & many of my distracting thoughts revolve around anger over past abuses. I am not in a place to forgive at this point and don't think it would be healthy to force such feelings. I have found that I don't have to "react" to the thoughts and feelings that show up -- rather notice them and what they feel like with no resistance. Mindful breathing helps. The knowledge that they are transient and will move on like darkened clouds in a few moments helps. Not creating more of a "story" about the anger helps -- letting go of thinking & moving into feeling. Most, not all times, these techniques work without my worry if they will work this time, too. P.S. They get easier with practice . . .

[eli2a in reply to NatureLove]

Thank you, these are things im relising i need in my daily life as much as poss, ill keep it up

[GeminiDancer Major Contributor in reply to NatureLove]

Very good points and advice. I'm always way too much in my head analyzing, constructing stories and judging myself. Being mindful of simply just feeling my anger without resistance or judgement or analytical storytelling....sounds like a very wise approach. Thanks for sharing what works for you!

[eli2a]

Thank you all so very much, even though ive thought ive manged for years i was terrified and you have all helped me with that...love, peace & namaste to you all xx