Hi all, sorry to moan but feel I have to let rip and don't feel I can do so to my partner or family. Please don't get me wrong, they are loving, supportive and caring but
I am so very tired lately, I hurt from my head to my toes, every muscle, bone, joint and tissue hurts. I just can't seem to get comfortable, sleep properly, think straight or talk properly. I know its all the usual fibro stuff but for some reason I am feeling so very low with it at the moment and I don't know why.
I have recently found what can only be described as fatty lumps appearing on my wrist, elbow and hip bones, now I know I am a well built girlie to say the least but these are solid lumps that don't move, they are tender to the touch and in the case of the one on my hip about the length of my hand and about 2 inches wide. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?
I have so many things to look forward to and be positive about including the arrival of my second grandchild who is due in September, so why do I feel like I want to curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out?
Once again folks sorry for being a misery, compared to so many I have it easy with my fibro and I am grateful for that, take care all and thanks for letting me rant and whinge x
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trustingtiddles
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You shouldn't be ashamed about having a moan now and then it's normal and it's perfectly justified to feel this way with fibro. It's ok not to be ok. Perhaps your just expecting too much of yourselves in terms of your emotions, you have positive things coming up - and therefore you expect you should be happy, and doing this it's making you feel worse?
Also, depression is not uncommon with fibro either - it could occur because of all the chemical changes in the brain, but also just generally as it causes grief. I am wondering, how long you have been diagnosed for? If it's not been long, you may still be starting to experience the grief which is associated with any kind of loss (typically, you 'bounce back' before the real emotions kick in) but if this isn't the case it's still understandable why you should feel the way to do as fibro - however long you've suffered for, can be hard to accept. (let's hope they find a cure eh?)
Loneliness is commonplace as well, you're more than welcome to come to us, the people who understand, instead of your family, and you shouldn't feel guilty about feeling they don't understand, as a person can't possible comprehend what it's like to have fibro unless they experienced it themselves, and even then, well experience things differently. The fact of life is that there will always be some worse off of course that's the case, however this doesn't mean you're feelings are not important and it doesn't stop you from hurting any less - knowing this fact (in fact with me it makes me feel worse - some says 'think of others who have it harder than you' and I think 'oh no, those, poor poor people').
As for these lumps you describe, I'm sorry I can't help there, sweetie. All I can say is if they persist then go and visit your GP just to see if there is any underlying cause or way they can treat it, also bare this mind in terms of depression.
In the meantime: hopefully some genius from admin or a volunteer will be able to make their abundant contribution.
You take care now and I'm sending you a soft (((hug)))
Thank you so much Fay, your words have made me smile. I just hate moaning about it as it doesn't change this horrible condition. My partner is wonderful and does his best but as you say he struggles to understand just how it feels to go to bed and wake more exhausted than when I went to sleep.
I have been diagnosed just under 2 years and haven't ever really felt poor me (I was so glad to finally get a diagnosis and to know it wasn't all in my head lol). You could be right with regards depression, I am intending to see my GP next week so will talk to him about it when I ask about these lumps. Maybe I just need my meds tinkering with, only time will tell.
That's ok, I'm glad I can make you feel better - that cheers myself up.
I know what you mean about moaning and that it doesn't change anything, although sometimes I think we all need that little bit of a moan just to make ourselves feel better! Healthy to get it off your chest and all. And it's ok to acknowledge the fact that you've had a hard time of it, it's not easy for anyone getting any illness, let alone an invisible one.
I guess I'm in a similar position to you as I was diagnosed - about 2 and half years ago and it didn't start getting me down until just recently. Like you I felt better when I got a diagnosis as well, I think that takes some of the stress way and the symptoms become instantly more manageable. But I, like you, started getting really down a few months ago It was partly because of a flare as well I think, which, can you make you feel unhappy if there are unexpected and seem to go on! That's when I think the whole idea of Fibro really hits home.
But don't worry, I have faith that you will come out of it feeling better. See how you get on get on with other meds, remember, our capacity for feeling better is limitless.
I promise not to be over-abundant, but I think you should see your GP - not just for the lumpy bits, but because you seem to be having a 'fibro-flare' which can be managed, possibly by a change of medication, or a visit to the pain clinic.
It's good that you have a supportive family, but I do understand that you can still feel down and depressed at the constant tiredness and pain - we've all been there, and it's horrible, but it will pass.
I'm sure that by the time your new grandchild is born, you will be feeling much more yourself, and be able to enjoy the little one's arrival!
Make a start by getting a good check up with your doc, and please let us know how you progress.
Thank you Moffy, I am planning to see my GP next week (if I can get in with him - he is the only one at the surgery who seems to understand fibro). I will keep you all updated.
I can't really add more but I think a trip to your GP is well advised , for the fatty lumps if they are new but also over time meds do stop working or working as effectively and you may be in need of a change
Please don't feel bad for having a rant or complaining on here its what we are here for
As moffy says please let us know how you get on with finding out what these lumps are and if you get some change in meds...
Thank you VG, the lumps are new and I will definitely get them checked out as they are worrying me. I really appreciate everyone on here, I read the posts daily but rarely post anything, tonight I felt in need of talking to all of you on here who understand.
x
Having just read your reply I see you haven't been diagnosed that long so feeling sad and longing for the old life you had is quite normal .... You say you feel down , depressed , you may well need your anti depressants looked at if you aren't already on any.. I had to try 4 before I found the perfect combo of meds for me and although the pain doesn't go I am not depressed like I used to be and I get sleep which makes everything seem better
Also, have you considered asking your doctor whether you could access CBT or counselling on the NHS in your area, perhaps through a pain management clinic or through the Improved Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) program? Having Fibro is really tough to deal with and these psychological therapies may help you to better cope with what you're going through. It is not uncommon that reactive depression follows Fibro - who wouldn't get depressed at being in pain all the time, not being able to do the things you used to and possible not getting good treatment and support from the medical professionals who should be supporting you?!
I am in the throws of a fibro flare at the moment, the first one for me at the degree it has reached. I have not slept in weeks, it is the lack of sleep that leads to depression and rattyness (so doc says) she has referred me to pain clinic and changed meds.
I have just arisen from my bed after a night of muscle pain restless legs that have not let up So I understand as do every one else here but get the lumps checked out they are more than likely just a formation of fibrous tissue or fat, but best be on the safe side.
Take care and feel free to let off steam it helps.
Thank you all for your help and kind words I am sorry not to have replied to everyone individually but I still feel very tired and sore.
Here is an update, not able to see my regular GP this week I saw her maternity cover replacement. What can I say? Talk about a total waste of time, she blatantly doesn't think Fibromyalgia is real. She completely ignored that this flare up has lasted so long, told me the fatty lumps were just that and ignored that they are painful. For the first time in a long time I came out feeling like a fraud.
So today I have decided to book tomorrow off work with the intention of sleeping until I wake and having a long quiet weekend doing as little as possible, I feel even lower than I did previously but I think that is probably a lack of sleep etc. Hopefully that will help.
Thank you all again, without your help and support I would wouldn't have got through the week.
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it's normal and it's perfectly justified to feel this way with fibro. It's ok not to be ok. Perhaps your just expecting too much of yourselves in terms of your emotions, you have positive things coming up - and therefore you expect you should be happy, and doing this it's making you feel worse? 
So fed up and frustrated
struggling and fed up
So fed up and down what else !!!!
Fed up
Fed up
