Feeling really fed up!

Hi All,

I try to be really positive re the limitations of my fibro and I don't know what has happened to me the last couple of weeks. Where my cup is usually a half full kind of a girl, well lately it has definitely been half empty!

My fibro definitely getting to me and my spirit. I don't like to use the expression why me, but that is definitely how I feel. I keep thinking of all the things I could have done if I were better, like kicking leaves down the path with my grandson, taking him swimming, going on hiking holidays, not worried where, just want to do the normal things!! Things I had expected to do in my early 50's. So as I try to keep it all from my hubby and daughters, I feel very isolated , both with people around me and listening to me.

Apologies for rant :-))

19 Replies

  • Hello Lizzyear

    Nice to meet you , I just wish you felt better !

    You have described exactly how I have felt on and off since I became ill

    Some days you can handle it and some days you can't and nights well they are the worst

    I hope that what I do will help you I always think when I'm low and in pain maybe tomorrow ,maybe I will get a good half hour or a good hour or an afternoon then I plan what I can do then . Oh it never turns out like that but I have to have hope or I would go Crazy. It hard having fibro on top of other illness as I'm sure you are the same . It's the simplest things I miss. My favourite is 'FRESH AIR' as I'm stuck in bed a lot . Do you have a good GP you could speak to ? Also do you think it would help to talk to family and friends so they know what page your on and why. I would be very surprised if anyone with fibro has n't felt like you are feeling I hope that you get some good replies about how others cope. You know I still keep a list in my head of what I'm going to do when I'm well again deep down being well is a dream almost impossible dream which may never happen but I still need my to do list ! Take care love Squeak xx Ps Ranting is good for the Soul xx

  • Thank you so much for your reply.

    Normally, I do make plans and lists in my head and just get on with things, it still surprises me when people call me disabled,which logically I now this, but because I am so positive, my mantra is not I can't do this, it is well ill just tackle it a different way. But I just don't seem able to dig myself out of this hole, golly I should be happy as happy can be the amount of anti depressants I am on, but I can't! I just see a boringly house bound life ahead of me. I miss the fresh air too! I used to walk my Labrador for hours and hours along the seafront. We've moved sine then and we are in a small village and the curcit is done in about 5 minutes! Hope you manage to get some sleep and once again, thank you for your reply x

  • Sorry for my spelling mistakes x

  • Hi Lizzieyear,

    I'm so sorry you are feeling half empty at the moment. It can be hard can't it. I understand exactly what you are saying as the past few weeks things have been just awful and like you I am struggling to feel ok about it all. Anyway this is about you, not me, and I just wanted to send lots of love and positive vibes to try to help you to feel a bit better. I guess we just need to try hard to remember that hopefully in days to come things will become bearable. It's just sometimes even that's not enough.

    I'm assuming you have meds to help with low mood??

    Take care me dear. Love Lyn x

  • Thank you Lyn,

    Your reply was very comforting I am trying to take control. Where I don't normally say, I feel unhappy or frustrated with my limitations. Well I told my hubby and he was really understanding and said of course you're going to have these low/frustrating feelings and was very supportive.

    Once again thank you for replying. Hope you are having a good day. Gentle Hugs x

  • Aw that's great your husband being supportive. I'm very lucky like that too. Makes such a difference. Let me know how you're doing and anytime you want to offload please feel free. I think it's hard when you have bad days and can't see an end to it and think 'I can't stand this anymore'. I have grandchildren and cannot do with them what I would like/what I used to do!! Annoying and upsetting. Hopefully we'll get a goodish day soon huh?

    Lotsalove x

  • Hi Lizzyear

    Please can I genuinely reassure you that you are a wonderful person and should be proud of what you HAVE achieved! You have raised a family which is the hardest job in the world.

    I do believe that we all feel the way you have described on occasion though? This illness can drag anyone down. However, you will come out of this because that is the sort of person that you are! Amazing!

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • Thank you Ken. You always manage to say comforting and inspiring things! It's good to know other people feel the same sometimes, although of course I wouldn't wish feeling low or frustrated on any of us. Sometimes you think you're going mad:-))

    I hope you and your wife are as well as you can be.

    Take care x

  • Good morning Lizzyear...I can relate with you, and I'm very sorry to hear about your discomfort and pain you are experiencing. We in the same boat and I've learned so far to take each day as it comes. This pain makes you moody as it's constantly there. Some days it's mild and other bad. Don't feel alone Dear. All the best and remember there are alot of people that are suffering with the same. Good luck and all the best

  • Hiya

    Sometimes it just helps to write down what we are feeling.

    You truly sound a very positive person, but we all understand that we sometimes we get "down days".

    It is so hard when your family cannot see how much we struggle to keep some kind of "normality" every day... but it sounds like you have been doing a great job!

    Try and focus on the things that you can do and what you enjoy.

    You mention you enjoy the fresh air whilst walking your dog... why don't you combine this with your grandson ... walk your dog and take your grandson along and even if you can't manage to kick the leaves... then you can watch him kicking them!

    I find walking our Labrador very relaxing and this helps me to get some social contact, saying hello to fellow dog walkers. I can usually manage a 20minute walk, so I try and do this 2/3 Times each day.

    If your 5minute village circuit feels too short, then go around several times, or extend your walk out of the village.

    Walking the dog, fresh air, company of your grandson will help to boost your mood.

    Meeting people on your walk will help you to feel less isolated.

    Like you wisely say "it is all about approaching things in a different way" , a way that works best for you :)

    Hope today is better for you xx

  • Hi phlebo123,

    Thank you for taking the time to read my post and to reply.

    I do try to be positive. Unfortunately, I really can't walk outside the home, but I have a couple of mobility scooters, so my grandson comes on that and I watch him kick the leaves and I 'kick' them with my stick, whilst sitting on my scooter!

    I just felt low and exhausted with trying to keep happy and positive, the tank was empty. But yep, I am having a slightly better day today!

    Hope your day is ok x

  • I completely agree with everything that's been said - days like these go with the territory. None of us can be brave and strong all the time. I wish you would share with your family what the reality of your life is really like - they NEED to understand. Sit them down and tell them that you're not bidding for sympathy and that you choose to smile and operate the half full principle, but there are days when you need their help. If you can't find the words to easily describe how Fibro affects you see if there's something online that you could share with them - that's what I did.

    I also have a secret method for dealing with such days - I make art journals and get my feelings out that way. Like this - atcexchange.blogspot.co.uk/...

  • Hi Liz,

    fibro & the dark mornings are very demoralising, I am 55 suffering fibro since 1994 but diagnosed in 2000 had to give up work in 2002 aged only 43 over the years I realised I got very glass half empty with the dark mornings, it is depression, get to doctors & get a low doze of an anti depressant, just to help you through the dark month's if you can catch it early enough it won't develop, also for me, I have family in Liverpool who make a point of having me to visit which helps boist my morale I stay in Scotland so a couple of hours on a train change of scenery works wonders, but I am also on a low doze of Escitalipram, which last year I tried to go without tgat was a BIG mistake, re goung swimming with your grandchildren go as swimming suppirts your aching body the activity gelps yiu long term meeting other people will help lift your mood too! I have gone on a bit, I hope this helps you, I'm just coming to the end if my two weeks in Liverpool being pampered by my family, it's been amazing. Take care xx

  • Hi Honor1a,

    Thank you for taking the time and trouble to reply.

    I can sometimes go and watch my grandson, but unfortunately, with the bad arthritis, fatigue and pain, I no longer have the energy to get into the pool, float for a while as can't kick too much as my hips hurt like hell, as do my shoulders, even though I have had a replacement shoulder, I have very little use, as my pain verges on excruciating. Anyway, once out the pool, I just don't have the energy to get dry and dressed. I find the local pool far to cold, it doesn't help relax my muscles. I used to have hydrotherapy which was lovely!!

    Glad you had a lovely time with your family:-))

  • Hi lizzieyear, bearing in mind the time of year and the fact that you are usually quite positive I wondered if you could be sufferng from s,a,d,i think having to spend so much time in the house makes us more prone to this due to lack of sunlight. Just a thought,

  • Hi Shazzy,

    Thank you for your reply. Yes, I think the dark mornings and afternoons, are a bit depressing!

    ((((Gentle Hugs))))

  • Hello again Lizzyear

    I knew the lovely people on this site would come out to support you

    How are you feeling now honey ?

    I'm so glad you have talked to you hubbie he sounds lovely and is there to support you for sure ( sorry I read all the posts)

    I understand how you feel about taking antidepressants but still being depressed I sometimes have to up mine for a few months just to get me through do you think your GP or pain clinic could offer and medication or alternative therapys that may help just while you feeling like this . I sorry I'm getting carried away but it's just cause I care and worried about you and even though I know we all go through it some worse than others I wish we did nt take care love squeak xx

  • Hi Squeak,

    Awww! You are lovely.

    I feel a bit better today, I think telling hubby and not just being the happy no moany Lizzy, it did help release the pressure I was feeling. But pressure I had put upon myself. Think I was putting the pressure on myself!!

    I am on strong anti depressants, so think I've just got to ride this patch.

    Thank you so much for your comforting words and concern. I hope your day has gone well. Take care x

  • Hi Lizzyear. I sure do understand. I am on anti-depressants and pain meds. It's not always enough but I hate to take any more, especially since some times it's not so bad. Maybe you are not getting enough for pain as has been said, maybe talking to your GP about it and getting referred to a pain clinic might help.

    I can't do all the things I used to do either, but I try. Definitely easier occassionally as some days are better than others and you will have good days.

    I just finished a trip of 9 days to one of my sister's memorial which became a family reunion, but a bittersweet one. I drove for 8 hours to get back from her city to my train. The strain of both the drive and the train ride (while I loved the train) caused me to have severe pains when I got home. Used muscles I don't normally overuse, and the drive was not wise. Never again.

    One hard part was to share with my family - some knew - about my fibro. It was embarrassing to say I am sick when so many people don't really understand it. But they are family so they try to understand and accept me for what I am. I think it is very important to tell all the important people in your life. I am glad you shared with your hubby and I hope you can also explain to your daughters about what is happening to you. It does relieve the pressure to talk about it doesn't it?

    Now I'm rambling. It is good for you rant. Any pressure release helps. This is a safe place to share; so much support. I wish you better days, more happiness again and less pain. Huggzzzzzzzzz

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