Dont call me marfa or arfa cos I wont answer

Dont call me marfa or arfa cos I wont answer

Aother fascinating day has dawned I know it dawned because I watched the d €¥#ed thing dawn. Then at sixish fell asleep sleep sleeo did somone mention the forbidden word..... I was woken up at 7.30 with a very blocked nodse . It is a very small tiny minute even possibility

I that I may snore quietly. And that it upsets wotsit the tortishell cat I am led to believe this because she

Had gently but firmly clamped my nodse shut with her teeth

But hey new day more pain more hassle its three months since hubby died and two and a half since I was paid anything to live on they decided I was an o a p and then they cut off all benefits not even allowed to grieve in peace it seems. And the leftbhand shook the right hand and passed the potuguese jelly fish around.

We all know that the dwp and the councils are run by octipussies yep have that one right. With eight hands each and postage stamp size oriface spaces they keep losing track of wtf they are doing.

The are no schools for sealife here so they are not the brightest. Infact the air bubbles dont always reach the top of the space in their fatheads.

So here I sit with zero balance in the bank and they are sending me letters saying that my deductions for housing and tax have increased because I have no income from the government at all... hmmm makes perfect sense to me NOT

they are therefore going to increase my direct debit immed and deduct the princely sum of 458 pounds a month from the magnaimous sum of zero that I receive. Ha! but this sharky got narky and decided that pussies oops octipussies needed to be taught math. I cxled the direct debit. Now we all know how they forget our telephone numbers when we need to hear from them....... well I have to tell you that in davie jones locker or should that be a different david they have an emergency little red book with all the numbers listed in case we owe them something.

Before the week was out I had a call from someone who sounded a little bit fishy. Complaining bitterly at the unfairness of me not allowing them to collect rent.

I said to the dear little wet behind the ears low life sweetheart if I give you an emoty carton and then ask you for 458 suckers how many can you give me. Be fair he worked that one out all by himself... nothing said he the box is empty. Oh wow such intelligence is mind blowing.. Exactly I said the same goes for my bank occount and hung up the phone in his shell like ear.

So here I sit in a pile of s.....t not knowing if I arfa or marfa too sore to bend down and look even.and too tired to care

Thank goodness i am a hoarder and keep a few months food at a time in the flat.

And heres to you great daily shoppers who doubted my sanity when I said I was anticipating shortages

whadda u say now.....

NEEDLESS TO SAY I AM TOTALLY ALLERGIC TO ALL FISH.

8 Replies

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  • Eeep

    Umm retreats...

    Vgx

  • Except you vg loves licckle fishies lol

  • Phew than I will reply...

    Firstly I just love your humour... Even when you are suffering more than most of us on here you still make us laugh with your wonderful spirit... Just imagining you gently snoring after finally getting to sleep then waking up with a small cat attached your nose... Brightened my day immediately ... I hope wotsit hasn't left any little teeth marks that would be so embarrassing to explain away......

    I love the way you dealt with the man demanding money you haven't got..... We have recently had conversation just like that with our phone provider they just don't get it... I firmly believe every company ... Council etc ...has a set phone script and if you deviate off the expected response they can't cope.... I remember telling a certain utilities provider I would rather go back to coal fires and candles before I used them again and there was just stunned silence on the phone...

    On the serious side now do you have anyone looking into this situation for you cos this just can't go on .. It's been nearly 3 months .... This needs sorting now....

    Lets hope someone logs on with some experience of what to do

    VG xxx

  • I will be fine the devil looks after his heir as to humour it start off whinging but then the writer side of me kicks in and I end uo writing in a manner that seems amusing........ they tell me its gone thru not sure wot its gone thru whatever it went thru must have have been pure hell poor tiny little insignificant pension esee there I go again my out look on life does get me into trouble sometimes when folks have a power cut or sense of humour failure damn stop it petal lol loves ya all

  • (((((Fadedblossom )))) you are one amazing lady, remember that! I read your post with amounting awe that even though you have suffered more than anyone should be expected to, you have the insight as to how this *****y system doesn't work and then the ability to turn it into a humorous piece of incredibly clever writing, If I could cope with my inconsequential problems with half the articulate way you are handling yours, I would be proud.......you are really one very special person. I am in awe of the way you handled the phone call, I bet that chap had never had such an intelligent person to deal with before!

    I am so sorry for your loss, to a degree I can sympathise as I lost my father 6 months ago and still it seems to hit me everyday, and that is nowhere near as hard as loosing your husband must be.

    I wish I had the answer to your problems, but unfortunately I don't, all words I could write would not make any difference, like VG I really hope that someone with real knowledge comes in and is able to steer you forward to overcoming this hideous situation.

    All I can and will do is to hold you in my thoughts and prayers. Please know you are being really thought of and I am sending all positive thoughts your way.

    Big hugs. Foggy x

  • Hey fugly oops foggy dont go all soft on me lol its all going to be fine Hmmmmm petal

  • Fadedblossom a hug for you I feel useless but my thoughts are with you go for them xgins

  • Hi Fadedblossom

    You have all my sympathy and I can only imagine what you are going through as to be in that position with it being my wife I really don't know how I would cope so you have all my admiration also.

    I know what you mean about the devil looking after you as things can only get so bad and then some spark (normally I would say Bright but in this case it does not apply) realises there is something wrong and then it gets passed around the office to every one as "cant sort that its more than my job" etc but sometimes it ends up with someone with a touch of humanity and things start to move (never sure which direction at this time)) and you get demanding letters and eventually they get what is going on and slowly ever so slowly they get the machine working and thing move foreword but unfortunately they will never mend the hurt they have caused at this time

    As you can tell we are all in your court (but unfortunately we have no way of mending things for you)

    I am sure there is someone in this community who has the information to help you,

    Take great care and the most kindest of regards to you.

    Terry

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