Aother fascinating day has dawned I know it dawned because I watched the d €¥#ed thing dawn. Then at sixish fell asleep sleep sleeo did somone mention the forbidden word..... I was woken up at 7.30 with a very blocked nodse . It is a very small tiny minute even possibility
I that I may snore quietly. And that it upsets wotsit the tortishell cat I am led to believe this because she
Had gently but firmly clamped my nodse shut with her teeth
But hey new day more pain more hassle its three months since hubby died and two and a half since I was paid anything to live on they decided I was an o a p and then they cut off all benefits not even allowed to grieve in peace it seems. And the leftbhand shook the right hand and passed the potuguese jelly fish around.
We all know that the dwp and the councils are run by octipussies yep have that one right. With eight hands each and postage stamp size oriface spaces they keep losing track of wtf they are doing.
The are no schools for sealife here so they are not the brightest. Infact the air bubbles dont always reach the top of the space in their fatheads.
So here I sit with zero balance in the bank and they are sending me letters saying that my deductions for housing and tax have increased because I have no income from the government at all... hmmm makes perfect sense to me NOT
they are therefore going to increase my direct debit immed and deduct the princely sum of 458 pounds a month from the magnaimous sum of zero that I receive. Ha! but this sharky got narky and decided that pussies oops octipussies needed to be taught math. I cxled the direct debit. Now we all know how they forget our telephone numbers when we need to hear from them....... well I have to tell you that in davie jones locker or should that be a different david they have an emergency little red book with all the numbers listed in case we owe them something.
Before the week was out I had a call from someone who sounded a little bit fishy. Complaining bitterly at the unfairness of me not allowing them to collect rent.
I said to the dear little wet behind the ears low life sweetheart if I give you an emoty carton and then ask you for 458 suckers how many can you give me. Be fair he worked that one out all by himself... nothing said he the box is empty. Oh wow such intelligence is mind blowing.. Exactly I said the same goes for my bank occount and hung up the phone in his shell like ear.
So here I sit in a pile of s.....t not knowing if I arfa or marfa too sore to bend down and look even.and too tired to care
Thank goodness i am a hoarder and keep a few months food at a time in the flat.
And heres to you great daily shoppers who doubted my sanity when I said I was anticipating shortages
whadda u say now.....
NEEDLESS TO SAY I AM TOTALLY ALLERGIC TO ALL FISH.