need to moan......sorry : )

well what a horrid day....in march my 15 yr old son used my debit card on the x box which i new about for £3-50 or there abouts. well i was having trouble with the new barclays site which he new so didnt manage to get to the bank for a few weeks well when i got my statement i nearly died as my darling son had used my card for a total of £563...how i stopped myself from killing him i dont no. well all was sorted in a fashion and we all got back to normality well sort of and then last night he told us that he had sold his ds even though we said he couldnt have anything to sell for self gain, like he heard us he totally went against us again so as you can imagine I hurt like hell today ey shoulders, neck and arms are burning and my hips well I dont no who's they are but they aren't mine..I dont no how much more lies and deceit i can take from my son, his dad is a plank (being polite) and does not help matters all he does is stir things up and try to get my son to go back and live with him. I am in two minds whether to call his bluff and say ok you win have him I have had enough all I do is look after him and care for him like any normal mom and all i get is lies and deceit...my hubby says let him go but really don't no what to do as when he is here all i do is get stressed and hurt every where...Help!!!! any one got any positive answers for me before I dig my grave and my hubby's as he cant cope either...all I want is to enjoy my life and control my pain is that too much to ask for? could go on more but my wrists hurrt now.. vikki ; ( xxx

13 Replies

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  • Vikki I know how stressful teenagers can be and I totally get he Xbox thing. My son is addicted to his and it causes a lot of problems I am now thinking omg what if he did that?£563!!!! Wow I would go nuts too. Then to go ahead and sell his DS,sounds like he is pushing his boundaries big time. Do you really want him to live at his dads? Could he go there for a little while so you could just have a break even? I think you have to look at all your options. I guess you've sat him down and had a strong talk with him. I have two teenagers in the house a girl of 16 and a boy of 13. I'm pretty lucky as they aren't too bad but the Xbox is just a pain the bum mostly cos of the constant noise with my son shouting at his mates online. He is only allowed on it at certain times now as I have been at the end of my tether with it. I'm over the moon because he has joined the raf cadets which has given him another interest and is teaching him discipline. I do hope you can all reach a compromise,seems to. Be key in dealing with teenagers.

  • thanks, yeah he has had the strong talking too but he just does not listen, he cant go to his dad for a little while as his school is too far away for him to get too from his dads, so will have to grin and bare him for a while as he will spend most of the xmas hols at his dads. never mind I am just hoping he will listen to me this time.

    thanks again cant wait for him to start college next year as he is doing public services so he will have to learn self dicipline amongst other things vikki x

  • I have had the same with my younger son Vikki, using my card (I didn't realise the XBox360 stores card details!) a year or so ago. Fortunately he only raked up £40 but it was the principle more than anything. We took the XBox360 out of his room for one month, that cured him! It never happened again! Oh and we took the Nintendo DS, PS3 and his laptop for good measure just to make sure he learnt his lesson. On top of that he was grounded for one month. All he had was his tv, which he didn't watch much of anyway.

    Needless to say we now have a very disciplined teenager on his XBox360 who wouldn't dare abuse us like that again, it's been well over a year so I think we are pretty safe now.

    The public services course is very strict, lots of fitness training in harsh conditions - one of my sons did a three year public services course. Loads of written coursework with strict time scales too. It certainly weeds out the young men from the mice. Many drop out during the first and second years. :)

    It sounds like you need a break Vikki, perhaps your son could use a couple of weeks with his Dad. Then he would realise that Mum is actually quite a saint! Bless you. xxx

  • hi liberty, glad your son learned his lesson, I made mine smash his xbox with a hammer and I sold all his games, I thought that would teach him but unfortunately it didn't. unfortunately his dad does not help as when he did this i phoned his dad to tell him and said that i didnt want him on the xbox at his house, well he went against me and allowed him to do what he wanted and he even treated him to a new game and a months subscription, so as you can see i am slamming my head up a brick wall.No one see's the other side of my son I love him and dont want him to go but all he does is abuse my trust. I have always faught to keep him here but this time I thought if i pushed him away he might realise what he had done, the ball is in his court now. thanks any way liberty x

  • I understand Vikki, it's a tough situation. Kids are never easy are they, they should all come with a handbook! Please know that we are here for you, so if you feel you need to off load, we will listen. Take care. (((hug))) xxx

  • thank you to all of you xx

  • Oh vikki I can really empathise with you as I'm having similar ongoing problems with my son. He is 22 and has a personality disorder suffers from mental health issues and is an addict. His behaviour which includes; lies, deceit, scamming, stealing, threats and intimidation has been a huge trigger in the stress that sets off my fibro flare ups.

    Over the yrs he has stole property from me & his siblings, sold off birthday and xmas gifts, scammed me and his siblings for money, harrassed and embarrassed me in front of family friends and co workers self harmed causing himself serious injury, attempted suicide several times (resulting in him being cut down from ropes and having to have his heart shocked and restarted due to an accidental overdoes of speed) been attacked by machete resulting in 25 staples to a head sound & resulting in mild brain damage.

    Despite all this I love him dearly and worry endlessly about him. I have recently had to put him out of the family home as due to his addiction he has become aggressive towardsboth me & my other adult children (aged 17 20 26) and i can no longer tolerate the situation. He is txting me up to 50 times a day trying to guilt trip me into letting him return home. Tonight has been extremely hard as he is claiming that hes is in a squat freezing and ill and that I am the mother from hell. He refuses to take responsibility for the situation he is now in and prefers to blame everyone else. As you can imagine my stress levels are through the roof ive been crying on and off for hours, im finding it impossible to sleep and my fibro pains are very severe. The guilt is eating me alive!!

    I sincerely hope things improve for you; keep the lines of communication open with your son seek outside support if necessary and try to get some respite for yourself . Take care your in my prayers plz if possible say a wee prayer for my lad

    Dixie x

  • Thanks dixie xx

  • As you say you cannoot send him to his dads right now because of school. But if you are going to get some time away from him at Xmas it will give you time to recover and most likely decide what is best for you, him going permanently or him staying. Above all your health is paramount and you have to ask yourself is it worth making yourself ill. If he goes to his dads then maybe his dad will see what you have been going through. I hope it all works out for you and you start to improve soon xxxxx

  • thanks ozzygirl, your right my health comes first, like I say the ball is in his court now and xmas is just around the corner so not long to wait for a wwelcomed break xx

  • Well you need to concentrate on enjoying that break, it is amazing how a break can make you feel refreshed nad make things easier to cope with for a while xxxxx

  • I had a lot of trouble with my daughter when she was younger. She stole from me quite often, including a full weeks pay as it was in cash. She was groomed on line and got pregnant, thankfully losing the baby before it was born. She even ran of on her eldest child and disappeared for a week or two before anyone knew where she was - you can guess the worries we had at that point.

    Now, I am amazingly proud of her and believe she has learnt from her mistakes. She has 2 adorable little girls and is looking to get married in the next couple of years. She has always worked and shares the childcare with her partner - a high grade nurse in London. Last Christmas she bought the best present ever - a trip to see Cliff Richard and I truly believe her wild days are over. So never give up, just keep hoping. It's all you can do in the end.

  • glad things worked out for you I hope one day I can feel the same about my son but have a long way to go yet xx

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