Fibromyalgia Action UK
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Do you have a favourite phrase or saying?

The fantastic analogy by Charlie of "threading beads on a necklace" got me thinking!! :) -- does not happen very often!! --must have been one of my less foggy moments -- what expression would I use to sum up my life with fibromyalgia -- I think it would be "Nobody notices what I do until I don't do it!!!" I guess I would be one of the worker bees in a hive -- scurrying around busy with my head down -- getting things done quietly without complaining and not drawing any attention to myself. I just get on with the cooking, washing, ironing, etc and the family I am sure think it just miraculously "happens". It would be nice to get an occasional "thanks" or a little appreciation. It's only when something Hasn't been done that they notice !!! (Why Isn't tea ready? ,where's my shirt?) Maybe they take me a bit for "granted" but sometimes it feels nice to be the "cog in the machinery" that makes everything function normally. :) xx

43 Replies

I instantly thought of something perfect,

I use the on-screen keyboard & mouse to write with.

got ready... and I've forgotten it!

maybe that sums me up :D



Maybe it was "perfect ideas are quickly forgotten!" --ha ha :) when you remember let us all know xxx


'Sometimes to appreciate the sunshine you must experience the rain'


Nice :-)


'Never show a poor face'

That was my mother's motto, it's mine, and now my childrens'!

My mother was the youngest of seven children born into a miner's family in 1923. They suffered terrible poverty, especially after their mother died in 1930.

As a result, my mother became snobbish in the way that only poor people can be!

She might not have had much to wash, but her laundry was always the cleanest. We children were scrubbed clean 'til we were almost devoid of skin, and she would always buy the best quality goods, even if it meant less!

When Mother met my future in-laws - who were quite well-to-do - I could see that she was rather put out by by my fiance's mother's lovely fur coat.

She served them a lavish tea, and as they left, she sniffed, and muttered under her breath: "Hmmmm - brown coat and black shoes - that will never do!"

God bless and rest her - she was the kindest, sweetest woman you could wish to meet, but she always liked to feel superior, and in a small way, I'm the same. No matter how little money I have in my handbag, I will 'never show a poor face'!

Moffy x


It's the squeaky wheel that gets the oil.

I've spent too much of my life suffering in silence, and now I'm slowly learning to speak out more. If you don't 'squeak' how will anyone know there's a problem they can help with? This, for me, doesn't mean whining, complaining, etc, just being assertive, and able to express yourself!


That's so true, Kaz - being stoic and waiting your turn just leaves you at the end of the queue!

Asking clearly and concisely for your needs to be met seems to work pretty well, and i agree with you that whining and moaning is not the way to do it - it's rather unattractive, and doesn't get you what you want!

Not that I never moan - I do - but I save it for my long-suffering GP.

She listens, and then tells me all her troubles, which I guess is the real deal!


Today is a gift that's why we call it the present !!

I love it i have it on my wall , i got it for my kids after we lost my mom & dad an that

To remind them not to waste there lives an live the best they can . Now i look at it with new Poignance xx


Lovely - and very true!


My grandma used to say ' It's a great life if you don't weaken' I'm now a grandma myself and find myself saying it!


My gran used to say that, too. Saskia xx


Hi all,

My dear mum used to say " you have to have the downs to appreciate the ups" She had a difficult life with 2 lousy marriages, worked hard and ended up with ME, pernicious anaemia and finally rectal cancer from which she died aged 65.

She had a great sense of humour and saw the funny side of things even when things were going really badly. I miss her dreadfully but, whenever I am finding life a struggle, I think of her lovely twinkly blue eyes and her wry smile saying to me "you have to have the downs to appreciate the ups" and that always makes me smile.

I hope it makes some of you smile, too.

Saskia. XX


Thanks Saskia, Yes it did make me smile,

I guess you and I have alot in common other than the Fibro. I myself suffer with ME/CFS and Perncious Anaemia. I also lost my mam in 2010 age 67 years, due to bowel cancer, complications after the op, which she spent the last 12 weeks of her life in ICU! I miss my mam too, dreadfully considering the fight she put up to stay with us!

She too had a saying "you have to experience sadness to know what joy is?"

I guess both those sayings are along the same lines!!

Pray they meet up wherever they are so they may find comfort in each other.

Bless you, love BB X


Thanks bettybaby,

Glad my comment made you smile! So sorry about your loss of your lovely mum. It is so hard isn't it? My mum only lived 6 and a half weeks after being diagnosed with rectal cancer as it had spread to her liver and her lungs. The Consultant said mum would have had the tumour for at least 2-3 years judging by its size. Basically her GP neglected her. I was advised to complain but didn't as I had mo family and was too traumatised by the loss of her. All I said was I hope the GP learnt by his mistake and treated others better than he ever treated my mum in the future then her death wouldn't have been in vain. I am not one to cause trouble and making a complaint wasn't going to bring my mum back. I am sure the shock of losing her so suddenly was probably what triggered my Fibro. or at least it contributed to it. There was also stress at work etc etc........!

Yes, your mum's saying is very similar to my mum's. It would be lovely to think that they are now together, Angels in Heaven, free from pain and watching over us.

Take care,

Love and hugs, Saskia. XX


Hi Saskia

Thanks for your lovely reply. It really touched me. My mam"s death too was from Neglect one of the behalf of the GP who she"d been seeing and having blood transfusions for 3 yrs +, he put it down to Anaemia and refused to refer her for further tests!

Very similuar to you my mam was diagonsed with bowel cancer in Dec, had op in Jan but it had spread to all her vital organs!

We were also told we had a case for litergation as she caught infection in the Theatre, hence ending up in ICU due to neglect!!

We (same as you) were in so much pain of losing her just 67yrs old, could"nt put a court case over my dad"s head, mine or my sisters. Like you rightfully said "it would2nt bring her back" if it would have brought her back then different story!

That was in 2010 and it made my Fibro go through the roof, I am so ill @ moment my husband had to finish a perfectly good job to care for me it definetely made me much worse!

Although circumstances grim, lovely talking to you, I can really empathise what you"re going through, I miss her oh so much.

Your last sentiment was so touching, that has brought me so much comfort, thank you so much for that,

I shall hold that in my memory As two Sweet Angels holding hands, maybe having a chuckle together as my mam had a great sense of humour( and did"nt have an easy life before the cancer either!)

Looking over the pair of us, as you say free from pain and happy. I am sure they both would"nt want to see us shed anymore tears for them.

Great talking to you. Take Care of yourself.

Love BB x (Lynn X)


That is lovely BB,

Thank you for taking the time to write again.

I am just off up to bed now as I am really tired...though probably won't sleep! BUT I'll keep in touch with you. We can always PM each other.

NIght night....our mums will be watching over us I am sure.

Comforting hugs

Saskia. XX


thanks Saskia Just back off to bed, considering I have only spent just over 3 hours out of it all day.

I hope you have a restful, peaceful nights sleep.

Bless You for your last comment, it brings so much comfort to me that I am not alone in other areas of my life.

I"m sure our Angels are watching over us as we sleep!

Good night, God Bless, gentle comforting hugs love BB X


'Class is innate'.

It's something I've always believed in and have taught my children to believe in.

'Class', as in the type of human being you are and absolutely nothing to do with social status. All to do with humility, regard and respect for others as well as ourself. I have 3 well balanced off-spring as a result, who, hopefully, are able to make good judgement calls on people,situations and circumstance without being intimmidating or intimmidated.


Mine has always been, 'I want to be a tree'. People know I am finding it tough then.


My daughter just said mom on bad days you always say stop the world we wont to get of .

Shes so right i do . But you have to go up from there dont you lol xx


My mum always said "always look on the bright side of life" I try to so do my children and hopefully the grandchildren will too . I really liked "Today is the gift we all call the present" how true . xgins


2 years ago I was hopeless and believing my kids and my husband would be better off without me. As a last resort, I tried the Guaifenesin Protocol even though I had heard, "stay away, it's just snake oil." I began the protocol November 2011 and actually visited Dr. St. Amand with my 4 & 5 year-old. We all have Fibro. My son was asymptomatic, but my daughter and I were suffering. We were not supposed to get well. We had Fibromyalgia! I am now sitting here as a normal mother, happy, boundless energy, pain free.. My FM is 95% gone and continues to get better month after month. My daughter recovered in weeks! Due to this dramatic experience in our lives, my favourite saying is, "Those who believe it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it!" ~George Bernard Shaw

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hugs, Sabrina


Didn't know this was snake oil! Definitely wouldn't try it as I am vegetarian! Glad it helped you and your family though.

All the best Saskia



My favourite is if the stairs are too tough, find the elevator.... theres usually a way round the difficult tasks, even if it takes forever finding an easier way to do something, you're still looking for it :)


I like it :-)


My favourite saying..... To my OH..... If a jobs worth doing lets get someone who knows how to do it ... In to do it.... My OH is not a DIY. Man....

VG x


My grandad used to say, "I can do it, others know how". Never did figure out the exact meaning of this. I like to think it means he was able to do jobs that other people thought they could do, but ended up hiring him to put things right.


Mine was said by my dear Mum for years, " what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". I now believe it myself


My favourite is definitely "do as you'd be done by" and the other is a very wise thing that reverberates in my head often......"a still tongue makes a wise head" true and it often pops up just as I'm about to voice something.....and golly wow am I pleased that drops in before I've dropped myself in it (was just horrified to see that my iPad accepts " init " as a word........what are we coming to ?). Foggy x


Unfortunately the iPad not only accepts words like that it also tries to help by changing words the time I have changed one word back to what I meant it to say I have forgotten the rest of the


It was probably on of the Essex ones init.


Meant to say, the second one was told to my by my dear departed Mother. ......bless her, she was so wise


Another whoops from the foggy one, and again wisdom from my Mother - "if a job is worth doing, it's worth doing well " The number of times I've been thankful for that is time without number ! Foggy x


I have loads because I work a program that is full of them. My favourite is Progress not Perfection......and one day at a time...

Let go and let God is a really helpful one

I really like some mentioned here......

What a great idea for a thread x


I love the one "Yesterdays history, tomorrows a mystery, todays present thats why we call it a "GifT", we should all try and treasure it. Also" Don"t ask God to guide your footsteps if you"re unwilling to move your feet!"

Out of suffering have emerged the Strongest of Souls, the most massive characters are seared with scares!

From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story, a stroy that says "I survived!".

The Good Old Serenity Prayer (Sorry don"t want to sound like Bible-basher cause I"M NOT! but I give this one a bashing daily:

God grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change....

Courage to change the things I can......

and the Wisdom to know the difference!......Please give it a try @ least once it always helps me out!!

Thanks for sharing all yours. love BB x


Mine is...Life is a bed of roses, it's just that sometimes you are nearer the thorn than the flower.


Think New one seems to be no shit Sherlock, lol.


Love the ones that describe useless things like - A Chocolate Teapot, if you break your leg don't come running to me, there is no such word as can't ( what was that that I just wrote?)

there are absolutely loads.

Cant wait to read some more. Does that mean wait to read some more because there is no such word as can't ?

Take care and kindest regards



Before reading through all your interesting words of wisdom would just like to say (before I forget - with the fog and everything). Basically, you see people walking around all the time don't you? Looking all polished and prestine. But you never know what someone is going through. So I have learnt 'Not to envy other people'. Fibro means... understanding the true nature of invisible suffering. Personally I think it gives us an extra understanding of others which other - aren't necessarily meaning, but may find it harder to acquire. By default, we have it, and we know from being judged wrongly not to judge others, because we may never know the true reason for their appear, or it's not what it appears to be.

My favourite saying, just in general is 'If there is nothing nice to say, don't say anything' - the main point being is that all one does from saying negative things is make another fellow human being really unhappy. Which is soul destroying isn't it? Because it shows complete desrepect to one's identity as a human - NOTHING is gained for either party - particularly the one on the speaking end.

And I think kindness to others is character building, being able to recognise the strengths in other people, to help them, which may also help one recognise their own personal strengths. It may even motivate oneself and others alike, to work on their own flaws (whatever they may be) more effectively anyway. The last paragraph took a bit of thought. But before I place my thread carefully on my bed, I'm seriously wondering whether we could expand on this - the bead concept - as I seriously think it could be the next Spoon analogy. Especially as with the right support, (e.g. someone else holding the end of the thread) one could collect as many beads as a healthy person. But..tommorow..when I'm more awake I will.. I have the beads.. but they keep slipping out of my hand. Like soap, you think you've got it and it just.. slips away.

(((Gentle Hugs))) 8-)

FF xxxx


Oh dear. It made sense in my head. I will be happy to answer anything which makes no sense as I am so tired now I simply must retire.

Answering possible questions would be the equivilent of picking beads from the floor - that's if ... they haven't slipped through the floor board by then of course. (Any wrong move, any disturbance could result in losing a bead long term - I won't dare say 'forever' because that's pretty negative.)

Good night everyone. Might read your lovely sayings tommorow. :)

Oh! And as Vidyamala Burch says 'It doesn't matter about the next 10, 20 or 30 years, all that matters is the next minute' - a personal favourite ;) xxxx


Hi funky fairy :) Very interesting what you are saying -- basically "never judge a book by its cover" -- what you see on the outside of a person is not necessarily what they are feeling on the inside!! I often find I put a happy brave "face" on the outside but inside I feel rotten but think would others really want to be burdened with my pain or problems!! But there again they do say a problem shared is a problem halved. I love your idea about the "beads" -- are you trying to say " if someone helps us by holding the end of the thread then we can get more beads on" -- in other words we can achieve more with a little help from others!! So don't be afraid to ask for help!! Well done xxx :)


Mine are . Don't sweat the small stuff - It doesn't matter - Appreciate the free stuff.

The 'small stuff' being things like don't have to dust, no one is going to see, or don't iron the sheets, no one really cares, leading to the second 'it doesn't matter' which, in the scheme of life means don't obsess over which way the loo roll hangs and don't let the action of your partner leaving dirty socks on the floor get under your skin. the free stuff can be a ray of sunshine, a smile from a stranger , a bird hopping in your yard or someone offering to make you a cup of tea.


Hi again

I have been outed here as when I am at my worst with the pain that is usually when I put in the really happy face and mess around and joke around because otherwise I think I would just end up screaming at everyone, and that is not good.

Love the string thing and the interpretations and the idea that to ask for help from others will help with the string and the beads (not sure it I have that one in my head properly yet)

Spidey - totally agree with you about the stressing over the things that don't matter, like ironing socks and underwear and sheets the thing that are not important. the other side of that one is, when I tackled my wife about that she said she does it to show how much she loves me. Argue with that one.

Take care and Kindest regards



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