What a truly sh***y day!

What a truly sh***y day!

It's only lunchtime, and I could cry already! First thing, I managed to block up the toilet (got it unblocked eventually), so I should've known then that I was on to a loser. Just sat through a soul-destroying 'team lead' meeting, where I was shot down in flames for objecting to our department refusing to take on first year students for placements because we might have to reduce patient numbers slightly (for 2 weeks per year) in order to accommodate them. I'm also the one who had to break the news to the college that I've been building contacts with for the last 12 months, so that email was particularly unpleasant to write.

The rest of the meeting was equally joyous, with just about everything I said being criticised by the other 3 people in the room, and me being put on the spot on various occasions by my boss, presumably hoping I wouldn't have a satisfactory answer. Just when I thought I couldn't feel any more crap, one of my colleagues (trying, in fairness, to be helpful) chose that moment to tell me that the rheumatoid/chronic pain presentation I gave at the last team meeting was too long, and I was cramming too much in. The fact is, my boss promised me a whole morning to present it, and gave me about an hour. Which - she said today - was my fault, because I told her that was all I needed! Not true - she showed me the agenda, I said would I have enough time, she said it needed to be done then, I said it would take at least an hour to an hour-and-a-half, she said 'there's plenty of time'! ARGH!

And now, I have my annual appraisal, which I suspect will go along the same lines as every other year - I work my arse off to get all the evidence together to prove I'm doing my job, she finds one area where I've not found quite enough evidence and makes me feel like I'm a total failure (or is it me making me feel that way? That'd be the CBT answer, I suppose), and I walk out wondering how I dress myself in the morning. Undoubtedly, she'll check every word of my folder, despite (from what I've heard from other staff) her not even looking at some people's folders, and she'll find somewhere I've slipped up.

Later in the week, I have the joy of having a 'peer review' meeting with a colleague, as she's screwed up a few times and needs some support to get back to the level she should be working at, but I'm really hoping that she doesn't try to use it as a stick to beat me with later, and say I'm singling her out (she has tried this on another colleague in the past, and filed a complaint for bullying - when I investigated and said that unfortunately the evidence I'd found didn't support the complaint against the individual, she told my boss that I'd 'forced her to drop the complaint') - I'm trying to stop it getting to the point when a patient complains!

At least I've lost 4lbs, and it's Valentine's Day on Thursday, eh? Every cloud ...

7 Replies

oldestnewest
  • sending you a hug hun (( :) ))

    sandra.

  • Aw, thanks - hugs back! xx

  • Firstly good luck on the weight loss I hope it's not due to the stress though.... Mmmmmmm valentines day.... Nice happy thought

    Secondly work..... I know you have a tough time there and you do do an important job but you do seem very undervalued causing you stress making work harder ... Vicious circle... I really don't know what to say about it as I don't have the knowledge but just to offer sympathy for the situation you find yourself in..

    The toilet as it was this morning I am guessing it was your home toilet , well done you for unblocking it... May I suggest next time creeping into the work toilet and blocking that and sneak out leaving some one else a mess to clear up ... Instead of it always falling on your shoulders

    Hugs

    VG x

  • :) No, the weight I lost when the OH was in hospital was from that - this is just down to me actually recoding what I eat and not 'having a treat' when I'm stressed ... every 5 minutes! ;)

    The boss was actually ok in my appraisal, although I found it mildly comical that one of my objectives was to take the strain off one of my colleagues, who has taken on more than he can handle!

    Hugs for you, VG - how goes it there? xx

  • Badly with the diet after reacting badly again to yet more meds I am now on steroids ....temporary measure, but I am starting to look like a greedy hamster round the face and not an ounce will shift though I am sticking to it still... It will shift when I come off them so I am resigned to standing still for a while

    Hugs xx

  • sorry to hear your day started badly, and then didn't get any better. Being so unappreciated at work must take all the joy out of your job, and it is so stressful to feel that you are under constant scrutiny and criticism

    To be honest, it sounds like bullying to me, if you are being singled out in this way. Do you have a friendly HR person you can go and talk to?

    I hope the rest of your day goes better,

    Kaz

    x

  • Unfortunately, HR at my place are like the Gestapo! But - the one time I'd really spent ages on my folder - she flicked through it and said 'that all looks fine'! So it wasn't as bad as predicted!

    Keep smiling, Kaz xx

You may also like...