Well after losing some weight I decided to try some gentle bobbing about in the water ... The nearest word I can find to describe it would be swimming, I found a nice quiet stretch of water I dare not show my rather large gills at the local swimming bath and was happily splashing about when I heard the sound of creaking oars, and then I heard the whizz of someone casting a fishing line..... Next thing I remember I was being hauled out of the water unceremoniously to the sound of a rather familiar voice shouting Hey PP I've caught the Loch Ness Monster, then I had a camera thrust in my face held by a pair of trotters....
Please someone save me from their clutches I don't want to be laid out on display for the public or can you at least bring me some clothes............ I shouted to Libby it was me with no clothes on .....but she just grinned in an evil sort of way and pulled out her mobile phone and was heard chortling down the phone ... Yeah we hooked her and we,ll deal with her....
Oh VG to be caught so unceremonusly bad luck! You should have worn that large rubber ring I gave you remember the big black one. Still never mind I will be down in about three hours and we will plot your release.. Anyway what where you doing in the water at this time of year I bet you were b;lue with cold. xgins
I am and just look a the state of my fins.... Waits for rescue... Don't leave it too long gins
Yours feeling Gutted
VG x
Hey Libs ill put it in this old tin bath full of water. What a weird, ugly looking specimen. Defo related to the Loch Ness monster I think. I'll put this heavy piece of wood and a brick on time so it can't escape before we get it looked at *sniggers*
Spits water at PP and sulks at the bottom of the bath
Yep Karen we'd better keep an eye on this one, a very dodgy looking specimen and smells a bit fishy I might add too! Phewee! xxx
What do you expect from a fish that's over 40 years old..... Hey you,d better not be phoning the papers Gins still hasn't turned up with my clothes....panics
Did you know Moffy is sending photos of your naked fins around the forum. She took them on her mobile...thought someone ought to tell you! x
MOFFY... Did Libs send you those photos ... I thought you would track her GPS signal and come to my rescue not distribute indecent photos to all the members
Thanks for the warning Charlii... X
• in reply to
I am rendered speechless!
That's a first grins evilly and then looks pathetically at Libs from the bath
Ok here we go a jumper woollen B-) for the use of. I.skirt upstairs. Knitted stockings sorry about the . Colour there was no alternative. You know fluorescent tights are all the rage. One pair leg warmers a nd pair place up boots sorry about the blob tube so this is the fashion . For modern . Footnotes. Xgins
Thanks for the clothes Gins unfortunately I am still trapped under a plank and a brick and I would hate the clothes to get waterlogged.... Can you find PP or Libby and get them to let me out ..... I am going all wrinkled round the fin ends.... Love the stockings was watching TV this morning and fluorescents are so on trend right now.... I will look wonderful when I finally get free
P.S - it wasn't me wot took photos of your naked fins - it was that David Attenborough!
So Libby's way of dealing with me means a salt and batteredry along with butties and vinegar........ Oh my just get to me moffy so I can don the fluorescent stockings and the other items of lovely clothing gins bought then wandered off,,,,,and with fins afluffed it will be out of the frying pan and into the firing line as we( umm by that I mean you with me standing behind yelling encouragement) foil admins fiendish plot to eat me for their dinner.... Actually if you could manage to pick up a camping stove and an apple on the way we could have roast pork butties with apple sauce.... And after you have mincemeat of Libby we could do spaghetti. Bolognese for the rest of the forum
Yours with mouth watering , though you can't see it underwater
David Attenborough. I knew it , I knew I was a special one of a kind fish ... A new species, the last of a line, ohhh I could turn myself into a sideshow and become rich and famous
Could you manage some curlers too , I have to look my best......
Yes, Marzy - if you're crazy enough, do come and join our daft antics. VG will give you a 'Daft Certificate' and sign it with her own fish fingers!
I have managed to fish (!) her out of the bath and escape through Libby's back door to where David Attenborough is waiting with a posh car.
He's taking us to the Beeb, so that we can be exposed before the public as the rare and exotic specimens that we are.
VG is an odd fish, and I am unusual in that I am a lady moth. You can tell lady moths, 'cos they have no moth b*lls. The rest of 'em are just bats! Heehee!
Yours mothfully, Moffy xxx
Ummm are you sure I should be exposing myself to the public.... I am fairly sure that's illegal
But I am happy to prance round in gins strange assortment of clothes and answer questions.... I always wondered why you didn't smell of camphor Moffy ....now I know.....
Ok here we go a jumper woollen B-) for the use of. I.skirt upstairs. Knitted stockings sorry about the . Colour there was no alternative. You know fluorescent tights are all the rage. One pair leg warmers a nd pair place up boots sorry about the blob tube so this is the fashion . For modern . Footnotes. Xgins
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xxx
grins evilly and then looks pathetically at Libs from the bath
so this is the fashion . For modern . Footnotes. Xgins
ESA . What not to do.
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Someone pass me a fresh wet fish!
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