The wolf, the pig, and the bad attack... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

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The wolf, the pig, and the bad attack of wind.....

Extremelygrumpy profile image
59 Replies

Well not sure what happened here exactly.... PInk Pig our lovely volunteer , AKA Princess Pig ...PP( pronounced pee pee) for short. Was obviously happily reading her paper. Now I am not sure if she blew her house down or it was the wolf, but our piggy needs rescuing, any volunteers, any ideas before she eats the wolf..... Sorry I meant before the wolf eats her.....I would rush in with some knicker elastic to tie up the wolf ... But it's strapped round fibro air still holding Moffys knickers in place

Looks on trying to look anxious but grinning when PP isn't looking

VGx

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Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy
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59 Replies
Ginsing profile image
Ginsing

I will dash forward with my piggy saving equipment, what is that ? It is a sledge an or d a can of defroster spray can I get there in time or will the brilliant VG have whipped up her scooter and raced there first!

xgins

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

Mumbles through a mouthful of porridge ...... Good idea I am right behind you I,ll just finish breakfast and wash up and have a shower then .... I shall be right behind you... Scooter is garage bound due to ice so am looking at catapulting myself there with octopus clips attached to the garage roof.... Hang on in there PP swat the wolf with your paper.... No the one you are reading ... Not toilet paper until we get there.....

VG x

Hang on in there PP. I'm going to come charging over the hill on a wild chocolate horse.....

Oh, no, I forgot. Half of them are still tied up in knicker elastic lassos in VG's driveway, and the rest are on board fibro air as complimentary gifts to frequent flyers!

Hmmm, I shall have to think of an alternative rescue plan.

Hang on, I'm thinking, I'm thinki.....

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

Hmm the horses WERE in my driveway until my OH , son and neighbours realised they were choccy and scoffed the lot, and then they threw the knickers elastic in the bin and the bins have been emptied..... I am formulating a plan but can't get on the garage roof until OH comes home .......

VG x

Not sure how much longer I can hold him off guys. My borrowed gold plated knickers are around my ankles and out of reach. The wolf scoffed the chocolate horse but there is a really interesting article in this paper about making Easter presents using knicker elastic.

Shows Wolfie who is very interested.

My Mr Wolf what big teeth you have ( whoops wrong story)

I'm going pee pee pee all the way home....................help

ladymoth profile image
ladymoth

Oh dear PeePee! - they say it's difficult being a star, don't they?

Don't worry - Dame Moffy is on her way! I have found some spare knicker elastic and have made a huge catapult.

That wolf is soon going to be struck down by a ton of flying carrots and one of the wings off FibroAir 2 (yes - Princess Libs has crashed - again!).

VG's dustbin men are coming to chuck bins as well.

Ooh, I forgot to say - DUCK. Piggy ...DUCK!!!!

in reply toladymoth

I don't know about FibroAir at the moment, just call me FibroFlare at the moment, it's certainly not helping my flying skills and my landings are just huge belly flops at the moment. Sorry PP it's going to have to be an emergency landing to fly in to help you - hold on to your drawers folks, it could be a bumpy ride ........................whoooooooooooooooooooooooosh splat............. don't say I didn't warn you! :O :P

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

Moffffffyyyyyy please release the knicker elastic from round fibro air and send it to PP so she can bond with the wolf and make us all Easter presents from the knicker elastic.... So we get the credit for EVENTUALLY rescuing her and get an Easter present each....

Rubs her fins in glee.... Pressies oh I love presses

VG x

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

Is the duck for PP to eat or for the wolf to eat to stop one of them being eaten....if its crispy fried duck I might just have to arrive earlier so I can eat the duck

ladymoth profile image
ladymoth

Oh yes - Can we have pancakes and plum sauce? Bring a lot of spare ducks 'cos the wolf is sure to want a share. Tell PP to pull her knickers up before we eat - it's bad manners!

Ginsing profile image
Ginsing

Yum yum crispy fried piggy oh no sorry pee pee.

I like duck too I shall just jump on this fire engine be with you in a minute

legs akimbo I am off or as that guy says ooorrfff

Has any one found the pancakes?

Nom nom, carrots and duck,

oh no it's a fibro air wing. Princess Libs what have you done!!! Moffy your aim is off, it have gone right over the top of Wolfie and I and chopped the tops of a field of peas and now there is carrots and peas EVERYWHERE.

Umm another interesting article here about making soup *scratches head* now what could I use to make soup with?? Any suggestions??

PP xxxxxx

OMG I can hear a fire engine, knickers up! I don't want to see those loverlee firemen with my knickers around my ankles.

in reply to

The fire engine is for me PP, couldn't help but make another belly flop landing with FibroAir into a field of strawberries, it looks like a trifle down there with the mess I've made!

There seems to be a mass of elastic over, so I'm hoping Moffy can run up a catapult bungee type contraption to whoosh me back into the air to rescue you PP. Don't worry there are four fully uniformed firemen on board, I am finding it very difficult to concentrate, could be another belly flop coming up, hold on PP! ;) :)

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

Pea and carrot soup .... crispy fried duck.... So what's for pudding... PP hang onto those firemen till I arrive... Unfortunately my OH fired me in the wrong direction off the garage roof and I ended up in the ibs forum .... There were a few funny looks as I mumbled my apologies and left....

Trying to get there before everyone else bags all the firemen

in reply toExtremelygrumpy

Trifle for pud VG, strawberries are already mushed from my landing above :O

in reply to

And Gins brought the cream, she must have known - lol!

They're not here yet but ooo pea and carrot soup, with crispy duck nom nom. Wolfie has promised not to eat me now and we are friends and helping me make the soup.

Now where's that knicker elastic???

Having failed to arrive on horseback, I am desperately trying to come up with a new travel plan to get my share of soup and crispy duck. I think there's a danger that PP and the wolf are going to scoff the lot.

I've tried booking a flight with Fibro Air, but Princess Libs has crashed Fibro 2 apparently, and HRH is not answering the emergency fibro-fone he was issued with when he signed up!

Gins has already nabbed the fire engine. I am left with a choice between VG's mobility-tractor-snowplough which will probably not get me there until the middle of next week, or Gins dalek-mobile. Unless .... ahah! I have a cunning plan......

(Grins to self and heads off to garage ...)

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

While I make out a shopping list for OH I am sending by carrier pigeon a book for PP to read to the wolf to keep him entertained until I get there... It's called theres a wolf in my pudding... So it should entertain him as it provides a solution of how he gets to eat the pig .....ohhh just read that bit after I ordered it... PP dont read that story to him read one of the others in the book

Hoping this message arrives BEFORE the book

VG x

Ginsing profile image
Ginsing

I have just arrived sirens clanging I brought cream cakes we have demolished them with the fireman I say what fun!

Okay pee pee this way we will take you to VG castle for tea and crumpets why always food - because I ma hungry there werent any carrots

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

Did you eat them or have a cream cake fight as excuse to smear hunky firemen with fresh cream...... And where has the wolf gone ...... Has pp eaten him instead of the soup.... Did the wolf eat the carrots or did he grab a spare firemans suit in the hope of getting a cake????

Anxiously awaiting news

VG x

So I leave for 5 minutes to go and sort out transport! I come back and find out I have missed the firemen AND cream cakes! Not only that, but you are on your way to VG's for tea and crumpets!

Right, I'm off to my kitchen for a solitary cuppa, and a dry biscuit (sob!)

ladymoth profile image
ladymoth

Never mind, Kaz - I was bringing a big bag of Maltesers for pudding, but as the others have gobbled all the cream cakes we'll share them just you and me! I hope there's a spare fireman, tho'!

in reply toladymoth

Maltesers? I'm on my way - Yum!

One fireman between two of us? Poor chap!

*Whispers* I am here in hiding under the fire engine. A fat bird dropped a book on my head whilst I was making delicious carrot and pea soup. At the very moment Wolfie was leaning over the pot. It cracked him on the head and then he and the book fell in the soup. I wa so scared I pee peed myself and hid under here. Any suggestions??

PP

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

Sneak a trotter out and hook up a spare firemans jacket you can just wear that for the moment you should find its long enough to cover everything .... If you need a belt take the axe and cut off a length of hose... Tada one free fetching outfit to dazzle the firemen while waiting for the malteser s

VG x

PP is strutting her stuff in her lovely new outfit! Meanwhile poor Wolfie has a sore nose and third degree burns from the soup! That'll teach him to go around blowing down houses!

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

I,m still not sure it wasn't PP who blew down her own house...... But shhh. Don,t tell her I am questioning her choice of prunes and chilli sausages for tea last night.

Still awaiting the arrival of hunky firemen smothered in cream I am looking forward to tea with my crumpet

VG x

Ginsing profile image
Ginsing

L hear Maltese rd are lighter so come out come out where ever you are, there under the front of the engine gobbling mattresses. Naughty. I will tie a pipe around your ankle now you are safe per per stop wee is evident wheat ever next oh white out alarm hope you have a fur coat. !

So you like my new outfit then girls? Those sausages last night were deeeeelishous! BURP!!! Excuse me.

And I have no sympathy for Wolfie, maybe we can smother him with cream too, that should sooth his burns..

Squeals maltesters and cream *dives into the bag*

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

Snatches PPs trotter out of the bag.... leave some for us.... Actually while we are waiting for KazF you couldn't snuffle up some truffles for us could you?

in reply toExtremelygrumpy

I think Kaz ate all the trifle folks as she missed the cream cakes and the firemen, she's not looking too good over there in the corner, is there a doctor or nurse in the house, she needs urgent assistance - looking a nasty shade of red and green!

FibroAir on its way, clear the area .....................................

in reply to

I think you're confusing me with the traffic lights (could explain your landing problems)

xx

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

Rushes out with landing lights and a big white X... Then stands two streets away.......

Not saying we are worried about you landing abil...... Owwwwwwwww

VG x

in reply toExtremelygrumpy

VG you weren't quick enough, are you ok! What are you doing under there my dear?! :O :P

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

Trying to get up....... :)

Hang on a mo chaps. I am a princess not a pig, I do not dig around got truffles or trifles ;-)

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

But but but aren't truffles very expensive... Surely a fitting treat for a princess.. And as you have the snout.... Erm delicate little nose to snuffle them out that's a huge saving.... Actually while I am laid flat out by Libby's crash landing I may as well have a rummage around for some while I am down here

Ummmm well I suppose I could have a quick look, expensive did you say?!!

Have you seen the pic of my new dress I have just posted? ;-)

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

I have indeed the dress is beautiful ...loving the heels.....and the throne.... I would curtesy but no ones helped me up yet....:(

Well, I would help, but after all the trifle and maltesers, bending down could have disastrous consequences! I think I'll just stay over here in my corner and laug... Er, I mean lend moral support!

Where's Moffy gone with all the firemen - they'll be sure to help you VG.

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

Splutters, who let moffy loose with the firemen ... . Knowing moffy she's gone back to the station with them and is pole dancing in her gold knickers...... I do hope they stay up....

:o

Oh dear - I gave the last of the knicker elastic to Gok Wolfie! Tee Hee - those firemen are in for a surprise!

hamble99b profile image
hamble99b

missed it all again!

did anyone save me a cake? it's me birthday! :P

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

Gahhh nooooooo.... Don't suppose you fancy a pole dancing party at the fire station , ummm there,s some trifle on Kaz,s chin.... I would offer to make you a cake but it wouldn't be up to Mrs b,s standard.....

Gets out the birthday banner and starts singing happy birthday to you... Happy birthday toooooo youuuuuuu

:-/

hamble99b profile image
hamble99b in reply toExtremelygrumpy

on my way! is it the firemen pole dancing? and any cake is fine by me - especially malteser cake!

kaz - you enjoy the trifle, you got there first.

I thought prince harry was coming round, had the inflatable jacuzzi and strip poker table set. :(

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

Sorry moffy took off to the fire station with 6 firemen and shes pole dancing in her gold plated knickers but I do have some fairy cakes here ...no they don't have Libby in them don,t you have the fibro phone for prince H I am sure he would love to come round for your birthday and if he has a friend I can drop over ....... Looks hopeful

Sorry, I'd already licked all the trifle off my chin anyway!

Now listen up, I'm a little worried about all this.

It's Sandra's birthday (many happy returns, Sandra) and that means cake and candles. But the cake's all been eaten, which just leaves the candles. Which are a fire risk. And the firemen are all down at the fire station, with Moffy. And her knicker elastic. So, we need to be careful with the candles, because I don't think those firemen will be going anywhere, anytime soon!

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

Hmmm it's snowing here so if I make a cardboard cake and cover it with snow that would look pretty... Can't risk candles but my son has some hairbo tangfastics I could sneak some to put in place of candles..... Really Sandra you should have said yesterday it was your birthday today and we could have decorated the forum.....no party hats though due to a worldwide elastic shortage

Shuffles off to bed trying to think of something nice for Sandra.......... A nice thread perhaps just for you

Grins evilly

:D

hamble99b profile image
hamble99b in reply toExtremelygrumpy

hides worriedly under the duvet!

oh! just found a fireman, says moffy & friends sent him - thanks moffy & friends!

;-)

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy in reply tohamble99b

Just don't get too hot and set fire to the bed... Princess pp chopped up the fire hose with an axe to make herself a belt

ladymoth profile image
ladymoth

I told the firemen I was having a flare - they all turned their hoses on me! ;)

I am giving them a treat, and taking them for a quick flight to 'Somewhere Hot' in FibroAir One, which still has both wings, tho' I've had to tie the tail on with spare elastic.

We shall be back tomorrow, as Prince H has volunteered to navigate - that boy will do anything for a bag of Maltesers!

Wish you were here ... Dame Moffy x

Extremelygrumpy profile image
Extremelygrumpy

Well that's great you take 6 firemen and leave PP who was nearly eaten by a wolf, Lady Sandra who is having a birthday and me who was landed on by Libby back here where it's snowing......look out dame moffy we are right behind you ..... Oh no you,re not , oh yes are ... Whoops keep forgetting wrong sort of dame

Shakes a bag of maltesers .... Great all I get is next doors hairy dog called prince :(

in reply toExtremelygrumpy

VG how long are you going to stay under there. eating trifle as well! You'll be in no fit state to drive your tank for when Prince Harry arrives soon!

PP is all ready in her lovely new pink frock, we have home made soup ready too!

Moffy is eating far too many Maltesers whilst sewing! Heaven knows where Kaz and Sandra are, probably near the gorgeous firemen who came to rescue me after my belly flop landing! I haven't seen them both for hours! ;) :O

Hope Gins is ok too, she was on board at the time of the belly flop! :P

By the way VG what are those two Rottweillers doing on the runway?!

hamble99b profile image
hamble99b in reply to

[muffled] I'm under the duvet with my birthday fireman!

in reply tohamble99b

It sounds like you are short of breath Lady S, please come out for air or we will have to send VG in to rescue you! :O :P

hamble99b profile image
hamble99b in reply to

nooooooo! I'm hiding from vg. 8-)

in reply tohamble99b

Didn't you know? You can't hide from VG! I tried it once.

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