Its now been weeks since I was at work and after 3 sign off's from my GP I am set to return tomorrow...I am starting to feel panicky at the thought and really wish I wasn't going back...
Not so much as had a card from staff at work and I now feel that they couldn't give a stuff.I know I put everyone under extra pressure at work but I also felt under pressure to try to be well and it just wasn't happening. I am going back with a completely different view to work in as much as I will do what I need to do in my contract and then no more. I need to get a different job however not sure who will employ me right now after being off six weeks prior to the christmas break.
I started CPAP on new years eve and am still waking at night but now through air leaks waking me instead..still feeling poo in the mornings and very tired still...getting this checked at apnoea clinic today thankfully. I'm still not 100% and just hope that I will cope...I actually dreamt I was in a heap in my work place in a total mess and was unable to move...I am sure this is just nerves and all will be okay once there. I am usually a happy person and just don't feel happy when I think of work.
I wish I could just tell work I wasn't coming back but I need my salary in our joint income for the mortgage. I'm still owed ssp which wasn't paid and I am a tad annoyed as I brought it up straight away on receipt of payslip that I was 1.5 weeks short for the sick notes provided...I was asked if I could wait until the next pay period however advised I couldn't ....we are not broke however I don't think I should have to wait like this as should I not have a husband on a wage I would have no fall back.
I got hit with several health problems all at once last year and 2012 really was the pits health wise...now trying to feel positive that 2013 will be better.