feeling depressed : It a little bit of... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

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feeling depressed

Forgetmenot88 profile image
18 Replies

It a little bit of a rant. ok so my mobility has gotten worse I already use a waking stick and crutches.

I tried to have a little family day out and I’ve ended up with pain a fatigue, only on my second day of recovering from the 3 hr trip out, I’ve decided that a family trip out isn’t worth going through this every time so I have started to look at mobility scooters or power chairs which started to give me some hope that I will be able to have some family fun, I tried talking to a family member about how I feel for them to say “ you don’t need any, you can still walk, it’s all in your head”

Now I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about it and feel stupid for wanting to be able to reduce my pain and fatigue, am I doing the right thing by thinking about a different aid?

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Forgetmenot88 profile image
Forgetmenot88
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18 Replies
Welshcatlady profile image
Welshcatlady

What a horrible thing to say, some people just don't understand what we go through. I can walk without my stick and my Rollator, but if I do, then I suffer big time. I use my stick around the flat and garden and occasionally outside if I don't need to walk too far (Back and forth to the car which is parked in the street. For longer distances my Rollator is a godsend, I really would be a total wreck without it.

So I think that you should go ahead and get scooter or powered chair, and ignore it if anyone says you don't need it.

misspicky82 profile image
misspicky82

Oh Forgetmenot, I honestly know how you must be feeling right now as I have many people in my life that don't think fibromyalgia is real or that mental health is. My mum, both my brothers, one of whom rarely speaks to me anymore although I don't understand why? Anyway, forget that, let me just tell you, alot of people really do misunderstand the condition and it would be good to try and ask them to look it up or even just sit down and listen to you. Who was it who said this to you, was it someone close, like within your immediate family who you live with or was this someone in the wider family who doesn't always see the full effects it has on you. I hope it's the latter as I honestly wouldn't know what to do if it's someone you live with and I'd worry you're not being cared for enough.

Please try and forget what they said, I know that's easy for me to say, as I've come to terms (but not to full degree) with who thinks that and I just try to keep some distance from them. One is these people is has been my closest friend since starting high school in 1993. It's sad but I just try to avoid conversations about my health now, but I do get the occasional dig from her about being on benefits 🙄 like I asked for all this. I've had long term health conditions for many years that didn't stop me working and I've worked all my adult like until 2 years ago when I had to give up mainly due to brain fog and slowness, fatigue. I had a career that I loved and instead of helping me come to terms with that loss she'd rather just rant about people on benefits sat around doing nothing and getting paid for it! But insensitive to be saying to me right now.

Everyone on here will understand you and validate your feelings so never worry on her. I do hope it's a family member outside of your household 😢

It's such a debilitating condition to have and it's so misunderstood bcoz there are days we can do more, but what they don't see is the effects it has on you after that and that's a real shame for you.

I'm here, anytime I can be, I do go awol sometimes if I'm having a flare up or currently bhai I'm getting bad side effects from new tablets I've been put on, I'm like a zombie currently.

Look after yourself huni and rant away on here, you'll be supported by everyone one of us here.

Angela 😇 xx

Blue-52 profile image
Blue-52

Hu, you are absolutely doing the right thing. I let myself be in pain for years, trying to walk, and on numerous occasions,my husband has had to carry me back to the car, I finally gave in, and used a wheelchair, now I have a powered chair, although it hurts if I’m in it a long time, it certainly helps me to be able to go out with family , even for just a short while.

It’s not in your head, and we all know it, and feel it, so for your freedom, I would definitely get yourself a chair.

Good luck. Xx

Heathkir profile image
Heathkir

I have a small scooter, everyone thought I was mad. I’m 52 and walking can be so painful. I will never regret getting one as I can now do so much more! I’ve got one I can take apart and put in the car. Defo go for it and don’t worry about others opinions.

Seascapes31 profile image
Seascapes31

Sending hugs to you x

I say do what you feel is best for you and good luck with everything 🫶

KraziekLou profile image
KraziekLou

Hi,

No one has a right to tell you it’s all in your head, if only it was that simple.

Fibromyalgia is progressive, it ravishes our bodies and if getting a mobility aid helps you go for it.

We all have different highlighted symptoms and characteristics and no one knows how to cure this illness. Or even advise us. We are the experts because sadly we have been given a pretty challenging chronic illness, But maybe that’s why there is no cure because we are all different

You do you, and the community will stick with you.

Look after yourself as best you can.

Fibroguy66 profile image
Fibroguy66 in reply to KraziekLou

Excellent & well said comment

Yassytina profile image
YassytinaFMA UK Volunteer

Hello, if only the person that made this silly comment could walk in your shoes for a month 😞I think if you were too get a mobility scooter you would differently get out more and not feel quite so exhausted the next day, it’s your life and you want too get the best out of it you can , forward thinking i think a great idea, we spend so much time indoors in the Winter months and if you can make the most of Spring and summer brilliant, the only person that should feel stupid is the person that made the comment😉xxxxx

keokar profile image
keokar

Hi Forgetmenot88, I know how you feel, I been using a stick alot this year for walking, always had a bit of trouble with them, locking, but been worse lately, even though trying to get out most days for walk, to move them about, they can get tired, heavy, feel like can't move after a while and sometimes don't feel safe on uneven pavements. I bought one I could fold, but take out every day, as need on basis of what legs feel like. If you feel you need a scooter, it's your own choice as you know how your body feels, and if it going to help you live your daily life better for you. Take care, remember your doing great, your trying your best to live happy life you can. xxx

Janettewhitelaw profile image
Janettewhitelaw

It’s you that’s got the. Pain not her but if it’s getting you out more go for it we feel so stupid at times worrying what other people will think all the time we’re suffering try telling your freind you take my pain I’ll take your job ev joy your scooter it’s your life

MaggieSylvie profile image
MaggieSylvie

I think you are. If you are at the stage of using walking aids, that in itself, with long usage, will cause pain in your wrists. If you are thinking about scooters etc, you should do your research and make your choice. When you are out with the family you will be able to keep up with them (even if there's a bit of inconvenience getting the equipment out of the car). They don't know the limits of your endurance, and you are being very sensible recognising that after a certain time, extra pain in the near future is to be expected. In my earlier days of compression fractures (which are more painful than my FM), my partner's children put me in a wheelchair so that they could get to the ward my partner was in more quickly, so that was a win-win - a story you could quote to your family.

If you can afford the aids and can be bothered with the recharging and heaving them in and out of transport, do it. It's your pain: your life.

Africanmonkey profile image
Africanmonkey

Well I am in the same situation as you, OK it's not a day out but it is causing me stress so pain my car broke down on Friday and I had to lock my trailer up on a little roundabout with a wheel brace on it. Yesterday we went passed and of course it is gone. The police are not aware of it being moved and the council say they have not moved it. So only thing left is it was stolen. But how did they get it away with a wheel brace on.Now I am left unable to do my part time work, I was just starting to cut a very high hedge down to half way but now I have nothing to remove the rubbish on

Purple-haze profile image
Purple-haze

morning Forgetmenot88

I can really feel your pain and frustration, unless our loved ones can actually see you in physical pain after a family day out or even a trip to the shops that leaves you exhausted and unable to move around without a huge amount of pain. I think you should do what is best for you to still enjoy future family days out. If I had the opportunity to get a an electric scooter I would jump at the chance.

Take care

Ollieooper profile image
Ollieooper

Hi , my advice would be to go for it .

For me the journey of accepting I needed a stick , then realising I needed a wheelchair for longer distances then ultimately a scooter was a long one , but I’m so glad I went for it .

. I have a foldable scooter which I absolutely love

, I read on a post on here some time ago - it’s the difference of being able to go out or having to stay in , how true .

Now I can go shopping , walks and enjoy them .

It would be a shame to miss out on your family days out and making those precious memories :)

Smilesalot profile image
Smilesalot

I agree with Welshcatlady, what an awful thing to say. It's unnecessarily cruel. I hope you can find other people to talk to.We're always about on here to support you.🤗

I'm sending you heartfelt hugs.

I also use sticks and wheelchair. I'm having a bad day myself, a lot of pain all over and so tired altho I slept well.

Most certainly you should consider and try aids.

They ease the pain and just...help !!!!🤗

I hope you ignore the negative person and go for it

The wonderful people on here will help anyway they can including me

Hugs Dawn😍

Debsdelight72 profile image
Debsdelight72 in reply to Smilesalot

👏👏👏👏👏👏🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

Debsdelight72 profile image
Debsdelight72

Oh Forgetmenot88

I really get angry when I hear things like yours, The fact you were in so much pain and then fatigue, First of all who is this chuffing family member?

How dare they chuffing say it's all in your head!! Actually It is in your head, Not how they have put it, It's the brain and the gate that doesn't work, That is how the pain clinic told me whilst she was drawing a foot???? Not sure how many others have had this little talk,

I thought at first she was saying it was in my head as in I didn't have it, Just how the blooming gate opens😕😕😕😕

Nothing is not worth getting a family day out, I am almost a recluse, I leave my house for medical appointments! I would love to go out with my Hubby and our dogs, I wave out the window, I'm still trying to go to the Hairdressers, My social anxiety stops lot of things, I have to take up to 60mg Diazepam to attend anything to do with my ailments and when we get home, I'm so exhausted I go to my room and that's where I'll stay,

You do what you think is best,so If you would like to enjoy these family times you look on E-bay and put your name and number down in charity shops so they can let you know if 1 comes in,Or if you are going for new 1 good on you enjoy! Never mind what this chuffing person says it's your choice NOT THEIRS!!!!

I got mine from a place where the fella would fix up in his garage and deliver, If I fancy a change for sticking with him I get a nice little deal, 👍👍👍

No-one has the right to tell you, what you should be chuffing doing, People need to walk in our shoes for a while,😠😠😠I have a power chair that I got a few years back and it has been a godsend I use it in the house now as well, My Hubby puts it on the ramp on our mobility van and then comes back to walk me out to the van, 1 day I'll catch up on the walk and surprise them 🙂🙂

Do measure your door to take it inside you will also need to get a ramp, E-bay, or mobility shop,on average a power chair is the same size as the door, hence Hubby has a way of doing it, Or ask that chuffing family member to get off their cond/e/sending(soz) back sides and make you a chuffing ramp whilst begging for your forgiveness for not believing you when you are in pain

Grrr, sorry about all the chuffing you can't swear so chuffing is angry Debs the word starts with a F, and my spelling is naff so I type it how it's said with a little (soz)

Your GP would agree about a mobility aid as you will have a more enjoyable experiences,

Don't get into a family feud, but put your foot down (gently) and at the end of the day,I would say good luck on your shopping for your scooter or chair

Take care Debs

FrostGyre profile image
FrostGyre

No, you don't need a scooter. People will think you're lazy. 😉

Are you overweight?

What do you eat and drink in a typical day?

Let's have the nitty gritty. Details, details, details. Don't hold back!

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