Hell hath no fury!

Hell hath no fury!

Hi every one, I have been reading a lot of your letters & Blog's for a few months now. I have not commented on any, because I have been taking stock of what your all going through, and also had a lot of "Fibro Flares" of my own, plus countless nights awake with Pain from both Fibro & Osteo Arthritis, IBS. so had a rotten time of it over the Christmas & New Year. ( That reminded me A Happier New Year too one & all!) Gentle Hug's with that.

I am at the moment battling Fibro, hence the 7:00 am Blog. Have been up all night. Sleepless in Kent, normal for me. I just wished that someone was here with me, as I live alone, with Olly my 2 year old Cat. Loneliness is hard to deal with, yet I cope. My family have treated me like a shirker for not going out or visiting. Except Mum & Dad, but even Dad took a snide remark at me. I have been so sick with it all then ended up with Flu on top of it all, just as I was recovering. Now I am on the mend , at long last! I am going to Mum's for dinner on Sunday, Mum will be her ever loving self, Bless her! She is 85 this year. Dad is the one I am apprehensive over. I feel I might just explode with all that has been negatively said to me over the holiday. Not just by dad. Friends have stayed away, my Nice Abbey has also shunned me. were normally so close. I just don't know what to say or to do anymore??? Who can I turn to for understanding and a little Respect? I do not feel sorry for myself, but just wish I could be my old self for a while. perhaps then if I could let them see the difference in me? I would be able to get them to see that it is a real illness and I am not a wast of a good life! But struggling with an unseen Illness, even when I don't look sick.

respect too you all, with warm thoughts. Suzy xxx

6 Replies

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  • Hi

    So sorry for your Flare and especially with regard the way your 'Friends & Family ' are

    treating you.

    I guess I am lucky as where I have had the Osteo for so long and have had op's on the spine all the people who know me do know that Fibro is real.

    Is it not possible for you to print off the pages on Fibro on NHS Choices for him to read (I am guessing he does not have a computer) otherwise can you sit him down and explain that it is not in the mind and that you are not a scrounger and that what you have is real.

    but you have done the right thing on coming here as you will get all the support and advice you need.

    Good luck and (Happy new year everyone)

    By the way does anyone else get the jumpy hands where while you are typing with the left hand the right get jealous and bashes some keys as well. this is really annoying as I some times have to retype everything because sometimes I am on a roll and do not look and then when I look it is a mess of jumbled words.

    Anyway that is beside the point, just another odd thing I do

    Kindest regards

    Terry

  • Hi Terry.

    Firstly thank you! for making a reply for me.

    My parents are old now, Dad is of the "Pit ages." He was a Miner. If he can't see it? , then it's not there, type of man.

    I have tried to explain too them both, Mum sort of Get's it. Dad just is in complete denial. I have given them pamphlets and such like, Dad won't even look at them.

    You would have thought with all of the Doctor visits as well as the Hospital Appointment's thing's would be very different for me. but ....Mind's are closed!

    I just am at my wit's end.

    I do get the Jerky hands and Muscle spasms a lot. many of us do I suppose. I also have Restless Legs syndrome & Ranards. (White fingers and bloodless feet )

    I do not write without the Spell Check on lol! I do not cook alone either , for fear of Burning myself. Such is life!

    with T hank's Terry

    Suzy & Olly Kitty.

  • Hi Suzy,

    You sound like a very positive lady to me who is battling as we all are and family are often the hardest ones we deal with. I hope your flare up is gone soon and you get a bit of a good period. I spent yesterday in bed as it was a no spoon day could not even lift a mug of tea. Today I am up and on probably 40 spoons. I have to go out tomorrow and do something for a friend, I am sure it will kill me (not literally I hope) but I will go and do this as I made a promise and it is good to push myself. I havn't been out alone for over a month and need to before I get back to being unable to leave the house. Positive thinking tomorrow will be needed.

    Huge pain at the moment but that is all the stress (family). But we go on don't we. People wonder why I love my dogs more that people well because the understand and love me anyway. Glad you got a cat for company if only they could talk we would be in heaven wouldn't we.

    Wishing you well and lots of hugs Elaine

  • Elaine, Many Thanks!

    I am Positive you have to be! I won't let it beat me ...as long as possible! I was denied The DLA last summer. Have not had the courage to re-apply.. I know I must! i am on ESA right now. But when I am better and stronger than this, I will go for it. Why is it so hard for them to just not believe or just Ignore what your saying? My family should be there for me, supportive and caring. I do not understand? I had dinner with Dad & Mum Today, Dad started too dig at me. Because I was so tiered and Yawning , due to no sleep last night. Wow!! 40 Spoons? I have a lot less than that today, more like 10..if that? i will go out in the week to the Local Hearing Center. so had better save what few spoon I have. build them up. I wish you a lovely week ahead with a little pain as possible. I adore Olly. He seems to know when I am upset or in agony. he is so affectionate with me all the time. If he could talk? I would indeed be in heaven Lol! With a heart Attack! ...The shock would be too much! Lol!

    Take great care of yourself Elaine.

    Gentle Hug's always.

    Suzy

    xx

  • Understand you totally Suzy must be the KENT OZONES LOL. My dog seems to understand more than any humans! Yep they are aware we are unwell but they cannot see anything that shows up only our moods which we suppress quite well. I recon we should all get actors awards. I have had this for soooo many years somehow I have got a lot older with it. The amount of sleep we do we should really look younger [we wish]. Have lost interest in everything which is not my nature. Yep I live alone there is a saving grace for it though we do not have the problems of having to care for children etc. My goodness I really do appreciate that alone. If you live anywhere near Ramsgate by all means you will be welcome - it can help just speaking face on with someone who has had a long experience of this dreaded fibro plus you will not feel any guilt when you off load. Like happens when you tell people who do not have any comprehension whatsoever.

    Hang in their Hugs Circuitrunner i.e.Mo xox

  • Firstly Hi, and it is nice to hear from you. I have some idea of what you are going through. All over Xmas I was mid fibro flare and mid COPD flare and developed a bad chest too as well as walking around on a popped heel(orthopedic surgeon on 15th Jan). Plus my daughter was rushed into hospital prior to Xmas and she has been ill ever since(but first took bad on 21 September with the same problem she has now) so this of course sent a bad fibro flare rocketing skywards.

    I am lucky as I have a wonderful hubby and a very understanding family(on hubbys side as I have nothing to do with my own family). But your dad sounds as though 'pit years', he is thinking on the lines of 'you should be looking after them' in their older years. And part of me thinks 'yes, this is the way he will have been brought up' but 'no, you cannot do it becasue of your own ill health'. But I think it would be very hard to help them understand your illness, but mums are normally on the softer side, unless you had my mother that is. I learnt to put a front on to keep them off my back, and now it is habit, although I have no need to put a front on anymore. I would say your dad has a strong influence over family, I may be wrong and feel free to tell me if I am, I mean no offence and this could be why people are shying away. For you getting your dad, as the man of the family, to listen. It would be like trying to cut meat with a rubber knife! You can only strive on hun. If you can put on a brave face for the sake of going for dinner then try it, even if only for a short while. I wish you well and I am sorry you do not have someone close that you can share your feelings with. But we are always here xxxxx

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