telling parents about fibro diagnosis

Hi,

I'll be seeing my dad and stepmum for the first time since I've had the fibro diagnosis tomorrow and I'm not really sure how to broach the subject with them. My relationship with my dad isn't strained exactly, but I don't tend to tell him about the medical side of my life pretty much at all, hell the first he really knew I was under investigation for HMS was after I was diagnosed with it. This time is a little easier because he's semi aware of some of the things which have been going on although I don't think I mentioned the possible fibro diagnosis.

With my mum it's always been a lot easier, my relationship with her is a lot better and I feel like I can talk to her without her thinking I'm exaggerating or... whatever. But with my dad... I guess I need a way of explaining it to him so he gets it.

Any suggestions would be welcome.

16 Replies

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  • Tell your mum first and let her pave the way to telling your dad. Dads take longer to absorb what's going on and it really doesn't mean they don't care, they just don't want to face it if it means anyone they love is in pain. Hope this helps. 😊

  • my mum already knows, I told her the day I was diagnosed, my parents are separated, its my dad and stepmum who don't know, lol, sorry for the confusion.

  • Maybe talk to your Mum in the first instance give her all the info possible,I am sorry you have this diagnosis it is very debilitating and trust me it can't be exaggerated in my opinion. The awful symptoms speak for themselves. Lou xx

  • Hi Lou

    It looks like I'm stalking you 😳

    It takes me quite a long time to type my replies. When I've started them there have been no replies and then when I press submit you've replied. Great minds think alike. We must be typing at the same time 👍

    Hope you're doing as well as can be

    Lu xx

  • Hi

    Would it be worth making a list of your symptoms and explaining briefly how each one affects you?

    I'm just trying to think off the top of my head 😳.

    Is there anything particular that you would like your dad to help you with or do you just want him to know how Fibro makes you feel?

    It is not an easy illness to describe to people who don't have it. Did your Rheumatologist give you a leaflet when he diagnosed you? Perhaps you could take that with you or show your dad some of the details you'll find on here on the mother site. (www.fibroaction.org)

    I'm sure someone will come along soon with a more helpful suggestion 😁

    Good luck. I hope it goes ok

    Lu xx

  • I am so sorry to read that you are having this dilemma, and I have pasted you a link to the FibroAction fact sheet pages cache. There are downloadable and printable fact sheets that tell you all about Fibro, and these may help you to explain to your dad what is happening for you.

    fibroaction-public.sharepoi...

    I want to genuinely and sincerely wish you all the best of luck.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken

  • thanks, that might help

  • Hi

    There are also some good videos on YouTube that are great at explaining what Fibromyalgia is and how it affects you. Here is a link

    Hope this helps. If you need any positive support, I have a blog which may you are welcome to stop by. Traceymarinelli.com

    Good luck

  • A great little video - thank you for sharing x

  • Hi treylou

    that was a very good way of showing the uninformed ofhowwe feel x

  • You might find some information on it and take it with you. That way he can see what you are dealing with. Leave it with him to look over. That may help.

  • Hi toylia, jyst wanted to wish you good luck today with your dad, hope it all goes well, even if he doesn't understand the illness the fact that he rsalises you have a very psinful disease will be good.

  • Given the story you've told, I think I'd take a big breath and go for it. Then what will be will be. Maybe the longer you hold it in the harder it will be for you. Not sure it's entirely true dads are harder to talk to. My daughter has no problem with it. (she had MS before I was diagnosed with fibro).

    Whatever you decide, good luck.

  • Do you have any leaflets from the DRs or Hospital you can give him to read up on? Or maybe phone in advance and simply say the results of the test I have had is FIBRO. So when you visit he has had time to process it and maybe find out some more himself.

    Good luck.

  • Evening with my dad over now, I talked to him about it on the drive home, using a lot of the information I've read both from here and fibroaction; I'm hoping he'll do what my mum did and actually look it up for himself to get a better understanding about it. Not really sure what he made of it all though.

    Thanks everyone for your advice its really helped!

  • You have to show them Treylou's video (below). ....it's perfect. Don't worry about telling them, they will understand. Since I told my family they have researched it online. I do feel that some of my friends find it hard to understand. I get responses like "how can you have pain for no reason, the GP should find out why?!" ....I no longer spend much time with those people. Good luck and best wishes xx

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