just want to get away

Hi all, sorry to moan again, i am in middle in movin in with my partner, we been together for nearly 2 years, i am a single mum with 2 girls, aged 19 and 14, when it was just the 3 of us we worked well, then i met this guy, dont get me wrong he lovely andgets on well with my kids, its just now we all movin in together he seems to b different, he not keen on my 14yr old daughters boyfriend, i not that keen neither but she seems happy, i am hopin she sees sence soon and dumps him, as i think he may holding her back during her g,c,s,e,, anyway we all gonna be livin together, he a very untidy person, the other day i said to him r u gonna be this untidy when we move, he said yes probably, he knows i got fibro, and i get stressed very easy, i am not very house proud since havin fibro, but i do like the place to b tidy, is that too much to ask?,

7 Replies

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  • I share house with very untidy person so I understand it may drive you nuts. I have one room where I try to keep it tidy and they have learned that to have this tidy space keeps me calmer and less stressed so therefore we all have a better time of things. On the whole though if his only real fault is being untidy then your doing pretty good really.

    Hugs xx

  • he has other faults too, he hardly ever cooks, i know i have teenage kids and they help me, maybe i am just very stressed with the move and things, until i met him its just been me and my girls living together, he has never married or had kids, thanks for chayyin devonlady, xx

  • Hi Sandycat

    This is a very difficult situation. You obviously want to be with him. At the same time, it sounds as though you are worried about how this will affect your relationship with your girls. I think you really need to talk about your feelings with your partner, and also with your girls. You can judge best whether this should be the four of you all talking together. It's a big change for all of you. You are not going to be the only one feeling stressed by it. And stress affects different people in different ways. Talking through your feelings (all of you) can help to sort out any problems before they grow. And if it is still worrying you after that, maybe the time isn't right for you to be taking this step. Maybe you need to put it on hold for a bit longer.

    Good Luck with it, whatever you decide to do.

    Kaz

    xx

  • could you not try staying over for a few days first ? its such a big step that its natural that you are concerned.

    Being a stepdad of teenagers is a very difficult job, my son on law is being put thro hell by my Grandaughter at the moment , she is 13 .

    Please think of yourself as only you know whats right

    warm hugs xx

  • DONT DO IT!!!!

  • thank you everyone for your messages, my girls love him like a dad, he is more like their dad than their real dad, we been seperated for nearly 5years, he hardly ever sees them, we all get on very well. I just wish he would help me more, he still does things like he lives on his own, i suppose i am just worrying that when we all loive together he will think he can still carry on the way he is, my fibro is sufferin at the moment, xthanks to u all, xxx

  • I think that you will need patience and compromise. Moving in with a partner produces its own problems settling in even when it's just two of you.

    I also wonder if you're anything like me, no matter how much I've looked forward to something; I doubt that my own good fortune and am waiting for it to go wrong.

    just try and relax, choose your battles, and I wish you well in your new home.

    regards,

    sandra.

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