Sudden worsening of Fibro.. Just having a rant....

[fibromyalgiasomerset]

I've had fibromyalgia for over 7 years and over time it's gradually got worse however over the last few weeks the pain has been getting really bad.. It's in my arms legs and shoulders. I do find stress makes it worse. My husnabd died back in June from cancer and I was his main carer.. This challenged my fibro no end but mainly caused the flare up of the fatigue side of things. over the past week my fibro has flared up really bad. It's making me that tired I'm actually sleeping for the first time in months.. It's making me feel so down though and I'm not usually a depressive kind..

I'm also a carer for my daughter and have been for over 21 years so I've not really been able to work as such but now i have to support my home and I'm now looking for work. Last year just before my husband was diagnosed with secondary cancers I qualified as a counsellor and have been trying so hard to get set up in private practice.. I've been putting a lot of effort into this over the last few months as well as trying to find work within an organisation. I also forgot to mention I run the local support group here in Somerset called Fibromyalgia Somerset and have a Facebook page too.

Thing is I'm really worried because over the past week what with my fibro at an all time worse I don't think I'm going to be able to work full time and even part time going to be a challenge .. I've read on this site about the ever increasing people having to give up work and it's a worry to us all.. We are being pushed into having no choice but to claim benefits.. and Into poverty.

I just feel really sad and let down... I've been a double carer for over 21 years and now my caring role is less intentensive and I am able to work I'm worried that I just can't .. I'm worried how I'm going to support my family .. Feel very angry too that when you try and claim benefits they look at you and think well she looks well enough.. What have we got to do to get our voices heard ?

Thank you for listening to my little rant. :((((((

Liz...

[Dixiesdaughter]

Oh liz Im in tears reading your post so much has happened to you lately you must be reeling. You only lost your Oh a few months ago so you must be feeling immeasurable shock, grief, anger, pain and sadness is it any wonder that your in the grip of a stress related flare up. TO add to this your financial position will have drastically changed leaving you vulnerable and worried. Please take time to draw breath; firstly you need to get your flare up under control if possible see your gp and disscuss treatment options. When your fibro has 'stabilised' you will need to address your loss there are several organisations which can support you through the bereavement process including cruse bereavement and cancer bereavement groups please except the support of family and friends which also help to sustain us when we have lost a loved one. Finally contact the CAB in your area to explore what benefits you might be entiltled to and if you do decide that working is the best option for you remember to pace yourself and as counselling is a very emotional role please ensure you have someone in Place to whom you can off load to

Godbless you and best of luck for the future

Dixie xx

[diane63]

i agree with dixie.. ur still grieving.. but you have to for once take care u yourself.. flare ups i find can happen at anytime..sometimes without warning and does not always have to have a reason for it to. i am just getting over a huge one.. but it leaves me feeling very fatigue..... please try and get someone to help u with ur financial side of things cause that its self is worry..... u can contact me anytime just for a friendly chat.. big hugs xxx

[circuitrunner]

Sadly Liz when suffering from fibro plus attempting to deal with stresses and strains to cope makes it so much harder. As at the times people who have no understanding - tell you to keep positive other than that 'oh you look well' Many times it is a lonly road. It is amazing how we all manage to find the inner strengths to manage. You have shown many strengths without you realizing it. Although this does not alter the fact what is happening with your emotions and pains that others do not see. Try and keep in company that you trust. They are few and far between but it does help. Rant as much as you like it gives a little relief.

Lots of hugs circuitrunner xoxox

[Hidden]

Hi Liz

as the others have said you are still grieving and I am sure will be for some time...have you tried talking to your GP? Were McMillan Nurses involved with your hubby as I thought they also supprted after a loss too.

Well done you on your training, I am sure that given time you will be able to put what have have trained for into a job....a job doesn't need to be full time to be useful and I am sure there is a place for you somewhere that will now prove too difficult once you are ready.

As a carer myself I truely know how much carers sometimes forget that they actually sometimes need a little care for themselves and I for one am totally guilty of that...take it easy on yourself and just give yourself time to adjust and ask for help from anyone you think can offer it xx

[Hidden]

Hello there Liz, I am so sorry to hear of your loss, it must be an incredibly hard time for you right now. You are still grieving which is perfectly natural, your poor body is feeling the effects of this hence your flare-up. I am sure as time progresses your symptoms will settle down a bit and hopefully you will be able to manage a bit better than right now. Whether that means part time work etc time will tell regarding how much you can cope with.

The first port of call at the moment would be in my opinion the CAB (Citizen's Advice Bureau), they will be able to give you advice on what is best for you to do, what you would be entitled to etc.

It sounds like you did an incredible job caring for your hubby and daughter for all those years, so well done for that.

Today's system is incredibly harsh as you have seen from some of the cases we have in our forum here. Hopefully after visiting the CAB you will be able take the next step when you feel able to.

We are all here for you and we all care about you, please let us know how you get on. Also if there is anything we can advise you on or help you with, please don't hesitate to ask. We are always only too happy to help.

Take care. Here's a hug for you (((hug))) x

[fibromyalgiasomerset]

Can I say thank you to everyone that has left a comment :)) xx

[Hidden in reply to fibromyalgiasomerset]

We're all here for you, we all care. xx