finallyy stable on meds! now leave husband!

finallyy stable on meds! now leave husband!

well my meds are helping now,gabapentin/ diazapam, im not symptom free but i can now cope!!!! enough to deal with the other aspects of life,like moving out of my family home with the kids back to my mums until i get housed,

my marriage has not worked for some time. i said i would give it another go, providing we both did a few things, i did mine..... but he didnt sort marriage guidance, he was still negative towards me and my life choices and my illnesses.

so i have to look after me. if i am unhappy i find my fibro is worse and wen im happy the kids are happy too( he does not understand this and thinks im being selfish) he does not understand how i can be unhappy in this nice house with income etc but he lacks the ability to express or deal with emotions whereas i am very much based in my emotional self.

he is a good provider but does not seem to know me after 7 yrs and says that the 5 months he has had to arrange marriage conselling is not long enough. i feel if it was important enough he would have been straight on the fone and made an appointment but thats just me.

so got new car after crashing my old one(only 2 days of agony!) and my mum is ready for us to squash into her place, so new car, new year, new life......

i know that wen im happy my syptoms are easier to cope with and so are the kids!!!!

wish me luck, this is the last time i pick myself up and start again!!!!!!

now my life is my own and i shall keep it that way!!!!!!!

love and blessings to u all,xxxxx

Tink xx ps hope u like the pic, its wot i do, fire dance, fire eat, n hula hoop with fire or without, i also make hoops really good for loosening back n hips low impact and easy helps the fibro for me, if u want a hoop let me know i take oredrs for colour n size and utube has great tuytorial vids! enjoy

9 Replies

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  • Hi, sounds familiar, been there, got the t-shirt. Well done you for taking your life into your own hands again and good luck. Lucky you to have a Mum to go home to, my fantasy (and I'm 63!). Enjoy your life. Suex

  • Hi Tink

    Well that's two of us then! Altho' in my case it was his idea to split, I agreed and felt a tremendous sense of relief when I did. Since then I have found a lot of stuff I didn't know, so now I'm so glad. It's not going to be easy to sort out all the practicalities, but it will be so worth it. Like you, I'm looking forward to new year, new life. I don't have the option of staying with my mum, but I also don't have to worry about the kids - my youngest is 26!

    Good luck with the new life - I'm sure you'll feel better once you've made the move. And you're right about the importance of looking after your health, especially when you've got kids to think about. If he can't see it, that's his loss, not yours.

    Kaz. xx

  • Hello Tink, thanks for your message and I love your pic! Very exciting. Sorry to hear that you're breaking up with your hubby, but you seem to have made your mind up and have the positive frame of mind to cope with it. Sometimes a break is necessary in order that we change the way we are living our lives, it takes a tremendous amount of courage and I admire you enormously for doing this.

    I hope it all works out really well for you Tink, I know you are sure about this. We are always here for you and will be every step of the way, we care about you.

    Please let us know how it all goes, take care and make sure you rest and keep yourself as strong as you can!

    (((hug))) xxx

    Libs

  • Morning Tink brilliant to hear you are feeling well an able to cope with the upheaval of moving out and changing your life - only you know if it is for the better but you are right when we are happy it radiates out of us and the kids are happy too. So courage and blessings go for it :) we are here wheen you need to have a rant or indeed to hear your progress xgins

  • Wishing you all the best Tink. I've been much happier since being on my own, in my case I left due to domestic violence because he was threatening to start on our then one year old son! My son is now 22 and left home 3 years ago and I now enjoy the peace and quiet of being on my own... well not completely alone, I have a cat :)

    Is that you in the photo? My (camera) shutter finger was itching when I saw that :)

  • You sound so very positive and you know exactly which direction you are going in. I have left two marriages you have to have a fair amount of courage to do that. My kids are well adjusted even with their parents being divorced I'm not so sure they would be if I had stayed with him. You're so lucky to have your mum,what a huge support she must be.

    You go girl and I really hope things work out for you and so glad to hear you've found the right meds for you,it gives hope to others.xx

  • Good for you, girl.

    One thing I have come to realise since having fibro is that material things don't matter. It's being happy in yourself and doing the best you can do for your kids.

    I have brought up 3 entirely on my own and they are now nearly 28 (recently married, 2 kids and working as a carer) and twins of nearly 25 (the girl went to uni and has made a life for herself there and stayed in that area and the boy lives with me and is a chef).

    I was 'abandoned' when I was 4 months pregnant with the twins and they have never met their dad.

    You can't stay with someone if you are not happy and although sometimes life can be difficult you can take great pride in yourself knowing that YOU have given your kids the best life that you can.

    Good luck for the future, hope everything works out well for you, and thank goodness for Mum's (don't know what I would have done without mine when the kids were growing up)

    Take care

    Love Lynne x

  • Hi Tinks,

    I admire your courage and strength in making your decision. I too have been in a very simliar situation, but I have been with my man for 16 years.

    Recently we parted company for two weeks after a big argument involving my step daughter, and I had the best two weeks of my life. I had no stress, no noise, no arguments, no selfish behaviour, no untidiness, none of the things that usually gets me completely 'wired'. I felt so Happy, I looked happy, it felt like I was really breathing again.

    What was really surprising, was that I felt no worry about my future, or what happened next. When he came back, it made me realise just how much noise, pain and distress, he actually causes me. But, I have made promises with myself, that things have to change, because I don't want to live that old life again.

    So I wish you well, and hope that you find what it is you're looking for.

    Sharolina x

  • After 26 years I can honestly say my man has grown on me, so I will hang on to him. But it is not easy making a decision like that and I expect at somepoint it all took its toll on you making the decision more viable. So I wish you luck with your new start and I do hope it is the last one you have to make hun xxxxx

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