indecisiveness

hi, it's good to be babk on here, on 2 counts. I have been so low & tearful for ages so I couldn't cope with this beast (computer) but also I've been trying to persuade this machine that it wanted to connect to, well anything really. Apparently my signal strength is excellent but it wouldn't connect to anything I tried but hey, it connected to fibroaction!

Hope you're all doing ok. Things here are ridiculous! As I've told you all I've been thinking of moving to a more level town, as the hills here are not compatible with fibromyalgia. Well last weekend I applied for a tenancy for a privately rented flat in a retirement complex in Wells. They weren't too happy that I'm on benefits so asked for a guarantor, thankfully my son agreed to do this.That was on Monday. I had instilled in them the fact that I needed to give my months notice by today, to be able to move next month. No problem they said. Hmm.

I phoned every day & each day have been told," don't worry,it'll be fine" well I was worried, but yesterday I finally succombed & gave my months notice, but still no news about whether my son or myself are capable of keeping up the rent.

Of course now I don't know what to do if I'm rejected, apart from anything else they took £350 from me, non refundable!!!

Anyway, that's difficult enough, but I was speaking to my almost ex husband on the phone earlier & he said he wished I'd move back, to make it easier, because we can't sell the house.

I don't know what to do.

Our house is large enough to have 3 rooms each & just share kitchen & bathroom, I have suggested it previously. Neither of us want to try to rekindle our marriage - it's dead! But would it be sensible to try sharing the house?

We are both on benefits, previously we were on income support with him as my carer. We could go back to that but have the money paid into a seperate account for bills & have personal 'spending' & living expenses paid into our own banks & live independantly, with locks on our doors etc. He would only be my carar on paper.

It's risky, but once I sign the lease for the flat (presuming it ever comes) then I will be tied for a year.

I love living here & wish I didn't have to leave, but with all the uncertainty about my benefits, my health getting worse, the future is a bit bleak. Is it worth a try? I could always move again if it didn't work. I don't love my husband & I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual, but after 30years together, we do know one another.

Oh dear, I don't know what to think or do! Any thoughts would be very welcome

4 Replies

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  • Welcome back Cobweb, you do have some big decisions to make don't you! I don't think that any of us can really help you to make up your mind because we don't really know you or your situation well enough. Have you discussed the choices that you are faced with, with your family and friends? They will have a better grasp of things and might be able to offer you better advice. Wherever you do decide to go, try to be close to people who can offer you some support as well as medical practitioners who are Fibro friendly. Good luck with everything and don't forget to keep us posted as we all want to know that you are OK. Jane x

  • Hiii

    I agree with lady greefingers in all as it does have to be your decision and if you know your 'x' hubby well enough and him being your carer.

    or perhaps a family member, what about some one else you know who needs a place to stay to rent a room ? then they could help you (family or friend) ?

    I hope you can decide what you want xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • With so many decisions to make I guess you do not know whether you are coming or going. I think in this boat I would inevitably sink without trace. But I hope things work out the way you want. Like you I have a problem with hills. Everywhere I go is downhill, coming back is the problem. SO now I use my bus pass and from the bus stop to here is downhill, so not too bad. Iw ish you well xxxxx

  • thanks guys, My GP said yesteday that things will become clear & they have. My lease on the flat has come through & my solicitor has drafted a letter to my X telling him that he needs to prepare the house ready for sale & needs to be willing to drop the asking price too. Hopefully this will force him into getting his backside off the settee & sort the house out.

    I was told by the solicitor that she could put things in place to enable me to move back to the house safely but I realise that it would be madness.

    I woke this morning knowing that I want to move to Wells, I feel so relieved now that I've made the decision.

    I wish I could have got buses to my house Ozzygirl but there are 2 bus stops close to here & they both take about 10 mins fo me to walk to.

    night to all, I'm off to bed. Speak soon

    cobweb xxx

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