Strangled in red tape

I have always tired to write happy blogs despite how I feel but was shattered today I have been short paid on weekky miney mid january and the miney I revealed was in itself short was told iaken off incapacity as I am over 60 this was tracked in when my husband dried a month ago I have to

Apply for pension it will take 14days then told as i am not on benefits no housing or coucil so my rent etc is falling behind I caanot have them reinstated until I done pension credit after pension still no income....

A letter then arrives telling me to repay 154 over piad to my husband in error which used on the funeral I took a loan from now cash strapped friend of 2500 pds as I was told dss would pay me back within 30 days I has been informed they cant pay for funeral as I am now no longer listed on benefits so I am not coping with robs death after sitting with him for10 hours holding his hand while he died

Now have no income for a while owe money I cant repay rent in arrears all will be back paid I hear yes but wot about now how do I live and do I really want to ...

Cant take a loan or get a grant as I am no longer on benefits and a loan will just drop me deeper into trouble

Sorry for whinig and crying vicrtm but Iive alone andmhave no family around me my children went on the attack while dad was dying my son refused to see his dad before he died I qm feeling isolated and the stress is creating a bad flare up am on max meds for fibro and heart failure to depressed sore and weary to even feed my beloved kitties

My full box of tramadol seems like a good supper tonight

11 Replies

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  • Oh my word fadedblossom, I'm so sorry that you find yourself in such a sad situation. You've so much to think about, it's too much on your own. Please keep blogging and talking on this wonderful forum. I know someone on this site, with excellent advice will be able to help you with the money side of things . The emotional isolation and pain, you can share with us on here and other listening helplines like the samaritans. You really have lots of healing thoughts and hugs coming towards you, keep blogging lovely blossom. S x

  • Blossom I am so sorry that this has happened to you all at once, I know you have posted you children weren't helpful but I am sure they would be devastated to lose their mum so soon after their dad so please don't even look at that tramadol bottle. Think of your beloved kittens too our pets love us they are relying on you for their food.

    On Monday try contacting C.A.B I am sure they have had experience with this situation and can help or refer you to someone who can help sort your money worries out.

    In the meantime phone the Samaritans or talk to a close friend we are all here to support you online.

    Hugs VG x

  • I phoned samaritons last night and didnt know how to start I met with a long silence after the hello and I said need to talk to someone I feel sucidal but dont know how to start after a long silence I hung up.

  • Oh you poor thing. We are all here and I am thinking of you. Please be strong. Try the Samaritans again if you feel you are able.

    Big Hugs Karen xxxxx

  • Hi faded blossom

    I am so sorry you are feeling so low. These thing have a habit of piling up don't they. Please try and think possitive, there is help out there. We are all here for you.

    Please don't struggle alone, contact your doctors this morning and get an emergency appointment. Having a chat will help put you in a happier frame of mind. Also get an appointment with CAB as soon as you can. They can give you lots of advise on your money worries.

    If you can't face going out this morning have a chat with the Samaritans

    Samaritans

    08457 90 90 90

    jo@samaritans.org

    samaritans.org

    They are there for you and never feel you should give them a call. As Summerlite says, keep blogging we are here for you. Take small steps instead of worrying about everything all at once.

    Ooo you have kitties too, so do I. Such great company aren't they? Keep in touch please.

    Big hugs Karen

  • Hello Petal my dear, I am so sorry you are in this position at the moment, please know that we are here for you at all times and we do care about you.

    Please give the Samaritans another call (contact info in Karen's post above), they are specially trained to listen to anything that worries or bothers us. They are non-judgemental and are there in support of us all. It can be hard making this call, but it can really reap benefits just off loading our problems and worries knowing we are being listened to.

    Take one step at a time, one day at a time, be comforted by your kitties. We have a new puppy in the family, we only got him yesterday, pets are such a comfort. I wouldn't be without ours. Give your kitties a hug and seek comfort from their unconditional love for you.

    Please let us know how you are and pop in here from time to time. Always here for you Petal my dear.

    (((hug))) xxx

    Libs

  • Hello again blossom, just wanted to drop by and say I'm thinking of you. Would it help to make a short list of the most important things you have to get sorted. I did this just before Christmas when I had so many bills to pay I couldn't see how we would get through. I hated writing it down , it was daunting to confront it all. But I did it and kept it to just four things to sort. I did it and got it done and made new arrangements to make payments to suit me and them. I ticked them off one by one and the sense of relief and satisfaction in regaining some control, was tremendous. Maybe 4 things are too much for you, how about 2 things. Give yourself doable aims. It's the weekend, so offices will probably be closed, try and get your list done and then put it aside until monday.

    Now it's time for you to get some rest and enjoy the love of your four legged friends. I adore mine. I have 2 cocker spaniels and 3 cats( 1 who has decided to come and live with us and adopt us as his family!!). Animals give you so much love, it's both quiet and strong. Lots of hugs and tears shared with them are often my most healing moments.

    I feel so much for you blossom, I'm sending lots of warm Welsh cwtches to you, S xxx

  • Hi Blossom,

    Summerlite's advice is very sensible. Once you have things down on paper it seems a bit more manageable, somehow.

    Secondly, perhaps you could visit Citizen's Advice Bureau with your list. They will sort all your debts out for you, and help you to arrange a payment schedule. They can arrange emergency payments for food if you are really up against it.

    citizensadvice.org.uk/

    They will also make sure that you get all the pensions and benefits that you are entitled to. For instance, you are entitled to £200 fuel allowance if you receive the State pension - you probably haven't had that yet, and they will back-date your entitlements. You might end up with a bit to spare!

    Never worry about money - even the worse debt muddle can be sorted out if you consult the experts at CAB - and their advice is free. They helped me tremendously some years ago when I didn't know where to turn.

    In the meantime, just tell your creditors that you are having difficulties. They will just have to wait, and it takes them ages to take any action against people in debt, so don't worry!

    Please do take this step, you have enough to concern you without having to worry about money, tho' I know we all do it!

    Samaritans also, are always there for you. They are very well used to people ringing up and not being able to say anything - they won't judge you. Ring them any time of day or night if you feel desperate. It's amazing how much it helps just to be able to talk to someone.

    I very much hope that in a week or two you will be able to tell us that everything is sorted out financially. Your grief over losing your husband will take time, of course, but at least you can mourn without other worries once money is organised.

    Take heart, my dear - it seems like a mountain at the moment, but it can be put right, and then you will feel better.

    Sending you a big ((((HUG)))) and wishes for a quick improvement in your situation.

    Moffy x

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  • Hello again Petal, just popping in to see how you are and if you've been back here. Moffy offers great advice above regarding the CAB. You might need to make an appointment to allow enough time for them to make suggestions to you and point you in the right direction etc regarding debts, benefits and your pension situations.

    You have a lot on your plate right now with mourning your hubby, that in itself is a big strain. You have done so well coping with everything, it's not surprising you are finding it tough. There is help and advice out there which hopefully could make a big difference to you. I hope you manage to pop along to the CAB when you feel up to it.

    Also a point worth considering is speaking to your GP. They may be able to give you something to help you feel a bit more on top of it all and a bit more able to cope. We all need a bit of a prop sometimes and hopefully you would feel a bit better for this.

    Please keep in touch and let us know how you are Petal.

    Thinking of you and sending you a hug (((hug))). xxxx

    Libs

  • Hello Petal, I have seen you posting in the forum today a few hours ago so I am relieved that you have popped in.

    Please know that we are all here for you at all times, we will always do our best to try to help and support you or hopefully to point you in the right direction.

    Take care my dear, and we hope to hear how you are getting along at the moment.

    Thinking of you. (((hug))) xxx

    Libs

  • I am grateful to the members on here am levelling out but still not willing to stop craving the the bottle of little whites

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