I feel I want to get back to work but the anxiety gets worse when there's any pressure. My friends feel it will.help to go back and wase myself back in to a routine.However, my colleagues were not supportive when I was having symptoms and were actually really awful towards me.
I really need.my.job to make ends meet. I don't know whether I can get.another job with my symptoms. Just feel puzzled.
I'm scared.
Hello it’s okay too feel worried and horrid work colleagues not supportive ☹️what job do you do ? Very hard as people do not walk in our shoes cause if they did they might be kinder. Is there any chance of causualy looking for other work , you have my empathy xx
I work as a teaching assistant . I cope with well over the years. I never went sick. This is the first time in 6 years I went off sick for 4 months. I'm so upset that my colleagues were so horrible . I had comments like I was making it all up and that I knew what I was doing when I said I had brainfog. I thought I knew them all well, obviously not.I don't know how to go back and with what attitude.
My daughter is a teaching assistant , yes they should know better, it makes you feel like printing off a main page of symptoms and how it affects someone and say have a read , it can happen to anyone ,anytime , I would speak too your boss as this is not acceptable in the work place , I do feel for you , theve made these comments they should be spoken too, my friend hasn’t conditions but she’s a quirky little thing , alittle bit loud (something too do with her ears) the kindest person ever but because she’s alittle quaint in her personally she’s always getting picked on ☹️, I feel sad this goes on , I got her alittle note book too record any comments the date and time so she can present any nastiness too her boss. Xxx
From a practical point can you try to speak to a nurse who deals with your Fibro, or your GP practice nurse to get access to some sort of counselling to help you deal with your unbelievably unkind workmates….so that they can get you some support to deal with the atmosphere when you do return to work. But you never know…your work colleagues may have come to their senses,& understand what we have all been through, is dealt with differently by each one of us.
Unfortunately in today’s climate post the pandemic it is coming to light that there are many people who have been claiming PIP & other Benefits in order not to go to work……it’s all over the newspapers today.As you are very obviously NOT one of these people…..I know this is a big ask…but can you speak privately to the head teacher or whoever deals with HR in schools these days….& explain how you are feeling & ask if you might return to work on some sort of reduced hours to let you see how you feel amongst your colleagues? I’m sure you don’t want to make a big HooHa about how you were treated…you just want things back to where you enjoyed your job…….& get on with your life?
I know that is easy to say…but I think everybody has been through some anxiety & if like you, they have had to deal with unsupportive attitudes on a daily basis at work….that can only have exacerbated any anxiety .
But you sound as if you are starting to feel you could get back to work successfully …your friends know you,& their feeling is that getting back in to a routine with some outside stimulation would help you ….so pick your way carefully…& try to take the first step.
Do let us know how things work out for you.
I haven't been able to work for several years now, but I would talk to your HR dept and ask if you could place a notice (couple of). Showing what fibro is and the symptoms of it, my daughter downloaded and printed it out from one of the internet searches. I also have a lanyard with a card on it that states I have Fibromyalgia. You should be protected by the disability laws, so if you are being harassed or made to feel unwelcome your HR dept or headteacher has a duty of care to you. Don't put up with the nonsense. I got the hanging badge because people were harassing me on public transport because I was sitting in a disability seat. Fibromyalgia is invisible to those that do not suffer with it. Stick up for yourself. I was always the wall flower, but since my condition has worsened I do not have the patience for inconsiderate people any more. Keep your chin up, good luck and gentle hugs ❤️
Ooh, that's really harsh Laupecyndi! So sorry you are going through this. It's hard. No wonder you're upset. I know it's confusing and shocking to be treated like that and it's not fair. You are suffering enough without other people sticking the boot in!
It's not an excuse, and I'm saying this because you're confused by your colleagues hurtful and unhelpful attitudes, fibromyalgia is an invisible illness/disability. We are in pain and suffering from fatigue and other symptoms, but we look ok! That's one of the many cruel things about fibro.
But we, your fellow fibromyalgia warriors, we get it. And there are many other invisible illnesses and disabilities. My sister has MS and she's had some dreadful things said to her because she looks fine but she has a horrible illness that she really has to struggle with every single day of her life. Cancer - I had a dearly loved friend who had terminal breast cancer which had metastesied extensively but up until a few weeks before her death at 44 she looked completely well.
I don't know why other people think it's ok to treat us badly. I guess it's human nature to judge, who knows. We could all do with a little more kindness. I suffer from depression and anxiety. My sister and my mother used to say, "I don't understand," my response was, "I don't need you to understand. I need you to accept it!"
Take care, and don't let them see that they are getting to you if possible. Love and prayer, Elaine xx 🤗
People can be darn right nasty 😡so sorry you had this experience 🤗🤗🤗🤗xx
That is harassment and bully. I’d lodge a grievance.
This is my first post on here. I normally just read and gain support and advice but your post has touched me so much as l have been going through a very similar situation at work. I work for the local council since l was 18yrs old in a tutor role with adults,
I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, depression and anxiety, arthritis and a number of other musculoskeletal conditions about 5yrs ago but been ill for probably about 10/15yrs.
I had always worked so hard over those years - never went sick unless l had flu or tooth extraction or bereavement.
When l did go sick and l asked for support with my disability at work under the equality act. I was cross questioned and made to feel like l was no longer able to do my job. This led to me losing confidence and my anxiety depression escalating, which in turn made my fibromyalgia flare worse and more often.
I have been through so much over the years in terms of discrimination, reasonable adjustment not being adhered to, being told l should consider another role as it would be better for me ( which actually means for them) .
I have had unions involved and l have documentation of the discrimination. Then my line manager left and l breathed a sigh of relief. Only to find out the other manager who had been promoted to head team manager was also the same. So now after a very short period of relief l am back in the same position.
They can’t see our disability so they think we are making it up or exaggerating. I feel like the manager has an opinion that l am getting special treatment with the few reasonable adjustments l have and it is unfair on others.
I have just returned to work after 5mths sick and l am taking a stand. I have requested a risk assessment is completed and my reasonable adjustments reviewed as some are not worth the paper they are written on.
I am also preparing to put in a grievance against the new promoted manager as l am not prepared to take it any longer, l have my union behind me .
I would strongly advise you to contact your union steward if you are in a union as they know the equality act law and will make sure things are followed correctly.
Make a note of any incidents which discriminate against you and start a file of any such incidents and print off any email correspondence. This helps me to remember the information as my brain fog affects my memory.
Unfortunately many managers have the mindset that you work directly for them but when you are part of an organisation such as me l always remind them l work for the council and ask for HR to be contacted to clarify anything l feel is unjust.
Acas is also a get support. You can read information online or call them for advice and information.
Contact Access to Work for an assessment- they will meet with you and dosciss what barriers you are facing in work with your disability and make a plan of suggestions to your manager of what support you need I.e equipment, new ways of working. I asked ATW to suggest to management they should have fibromyalgia training for staff. I also did my own presentation on fibromyalgia to the team in a team meeting.
It’s taken me 5 long stressful and debilitating years to get to this point and l’m scared and worried about making a stand but it has to be done.
In my mind l have to remember this is work, they are not my family and friends. I am just a number and if l go l will be replaced.
It’s not worth jeopardising your health as you already have enough to deal with. Fibromyalgia has been life changing for me. It takes away your confidence and strips you of the power and strength you once had.
I have CBT therapy which is very good and helps me a lot to stay strong and assertive.
I hope my post can help you and l pray for you to find the strength and get the correct advice and support you need.
Don’t let anyone take away your self confidence, believe in yourself and remember your worth x
P.s sorry for the long post l am so passionate about stopping discrimination x
Well done you! I had a similar experience in the Civil service, it is very reliant on the individual manager you have and should be more standard practice.
Fantastic that you challenged
Thanks so much for the support to all of you. It feels so good to be amongst people who understand what I'm going through. I would like to try CBT therapy. I will be honest, I have lost my self-confidence and I was not like this before. I used to be able to multi task, and now I forget what I need to do.
👏👏good for you 🤗🤗xx
Hi, you have given me food for thought as you are completely right in what you say and are doing. I hope it gives others the confidence to challenge wrong doings. Have a lovely day, I know you have made me feel better xx 🤗
So sorry to hear what you are going through. Its hard enough to cope with a condition like fibromyalgia, but to be subjected to bullying and cruelty in the workplace is totally unacceptable. I can totally empathise because I have and am still experiencing it. Please contact Citizens advice for support. I would inform a senior manager because the comments are bullying and discrimination, which is against the Equality Act 2010. You have every right to to work and work in a place that is safe both physically and emotionally.
Unfortunately because our condition is an invisible disability, it is not acknowledged or taken seriously.
Thinking of you and hoping that your situation improves x😊
This is appalling. They’re acting like a gang of bullies in the playground. If they treated pupils like that they’d be sacked. I can see why you feel anxious about a return as stress can induce flare ups.
Is your job full time? Are you employed by the school or by the County Council?
There should be a Human Resources officer you can talk to, to help ease you back in perhaps a graduated return to work, and to allow for pacing yourself, and maybe they or your GP could refer you to an occupational therapist? They should also tackle your colleagues about their behaviour and educate them about your condition, effect an apology and encourage them to be supportive in future.
Are you in the Union? They can be very helpful with advice and support , especially if you eventually had to medically retire and could then be entitled to your pension and appropriate benefits. They could even attend with you appointments with HR etc.
I agree that logging incidents builds evidence but hopefully the way can be paved that colleagues can show some remorse and support in future.
Let’s know how you get on. Meanwhile look online for strategies to deal with anxiety, these will help you anyway.
Good luck, we’re all behind you.
Hi LaupecyndiSorry to hear you are feeling scared.
Can you get OHS and Union involved.
I remember with pain being told when I took NHS symptoms list in to share "I suppose we all have a bit of those,it's just getting old I guess"!!! Wrong in so many ways.
For me it was important to keep using my rational thinking and make factual statements when I was put under pressure or not supported and felt scared. If I showed emotional thinking or got upset it was harder to challenge. It proved useful to insist on more time to reply so I could get headspace.
Look after you and get support
Take care
Gigi
Hi Laupecyndi, I am sorry this is happening to you. Having been a teacher myself I know how unpleasant the atmosphere can be and how toxic some staff rooms are. The by word at the moment is neurodiverse so everyone should be having conversations about this and be learning what it means. They should understand that being neurodiverse doesn’t stop when you leave school and has many causes. Be very open with your leadership team. Tell them your problem and what is happening. They should put in place safeguards for you to return to work. You could also ask to speak to the occupational health team. I found them extremely helpful when I was going through similar issues.
Good luck
Its so hard to hear that illness and symptoms cause anxiety and fears however every one on this site will understand your concerns. I worked with my symptoms for a period of 15 years and in that time there were many changes in my fitness and mental health 🙃 and anxiety that I wanted to close down and hide .
I Stopped sharing how I felt with others because at times they were unkind with there opinions and attitudes about something they knew Notting about. That made me start to look at myself and looking at ways to support my different challenges that had been created by others.
I dealt with one thing at a time . In the order of my mindset . Lifestyle. Stretching exercises. Energy levels my ability to do things at a slower pace and to put my feelings first.
Any illness can make you become someone you don't Recognize and that is the time to take simple steps of control to help yourself.
Look into Talking therapist website which use to be known as healthy minds they can help you and your mindset and living with long term conditions. Speak to your GP about the pain clinic waiting list ask to go on it. These guys cover so much of what you are dealing with everyminture of the day. It also helps to listen to other who also understand your feelings/,pain and struggling to continue a normal life. You can learn so much.
To support you even more look at what benefits you can apply for to help you perhaps reduce your hours for a few months or return back to work slowly. Push your GP to get you on courses living with long term illness. It's so hard when you are feeling low to find yourself again be strong put yourself in control of your mind and your body looks at ways to listen to your body . Its not about beating yourself up its about pushing your body at a pace it can deal with at the time. Listen to yourself and not your friends they have no idea what it's like being you . There many members on this site who understand your feelings and frustration and being lonely because fibromyalgia can make you feel that way. Your not on your own in this journey as there will be many who would support you. Write down a list of things you need help with and start from there. Look at doing chair exercises to keep you moving when you have a flare ups. Rest up and move through out the day.
Wishing you big hugs 🫂
don't let flare-ups over take you. You take small steps to get control of your body and mind where you can. Its a long process but worth it 😘 stay in touch xx
your a very brave lady to share your feelings because it's not an easy thing to do.
I have fibromyalgia I had lots of anxiety brain thug, fatigue, and pain. Eight weeks ago I started LDN which was recommended by my neurologist it’s unlicensed but a very safe and well tolerated drug with virtually no side effects. I have to pay £22.50 per month. My fatigue has gone my anxiety is gone. I’m sleeping better and the pain is a little bit reduced longer. I’m on it. The pain will hopefully reduce even more from what I understand. Have a look on Google for me. It’s been a wonder drug each person is different , but my anxiety was awful now. I don’t have any.
Whats LDN stand for? You just gave us some.new found hope.thanks
low dose Naltrexone, it’s a very cheap drug that’s probably why your doctor might not prescribe it. There is a chemist in Glasgow called Dickinsons that is the main distributor all over Europe. There is a Facebook page called LDN research if you have a look at all the info on there and any questions that you might have changed good luck please do message if you need any more guidance or help.
So sorry this is happening to you Laupecyndi. Unfortunately humans are disgusting to those they see as less than....until if course it happens to then. You need to speak to HR, as that company has a duty of care towards you & things need putting in place to accommodate you and your needs so you can do your job. You need your company to speak to staff about their duty of care also and to stop what seems tantamount to bullying in the workplace. In the meantime you need medical intervention. I've tried x4 different antidepressants and got awful side effects. Luckily, I saw a post on Tiktok about the effects of Magnesiun Glycinate @ 1200 mg per tablet & take x2 per day, but you can just take 1 per day if you prefer. Its a natural substance, although it could also be a synthetic copy. The make is Wellgard & costs £6.80p for 90 tablets on Tiktok.
It is fantastic that it has helped me, & thousands more that used pain killers and antidepressants combined. To me it's a game changer.
I'm actualky sleeping after all these years, have less flare ups, have more get up abd go and i feel more confident and just looking forward to life. It doesn't get rid of Fibromyalgia but is an excellent tool to help manage it.
I hope you'll consider trying it. Let us know how you get on. All the best 😍
That's so good to hear. Really reassuring for the rest of us that there are alternative meds that we can take. I will try this one. Thanks so much.
You're more than welcome. My gp stated that I can have it on prescription as its noted as being good for fibromyalgia sufferers & this is a good brand to get it from. X
Brain fog
Brain Fog!
Brain fog oopsy 
