Another grump!!!!

For those poor people who have been following my downs & even further downs over the past few weeks, I thought I'd cheer your day up with a different moan.

I've really not been myself lately, the pain from the fibro has been relentless & I've fallen victim to the scourge that is depression! When I took the overdose 3 weeks ago, it was because I felt like everything was too much to bear. OK, I survived. Now I'm a total believer in fate & that we all face challenges for a reason & to learn from them too, but I think that someone 'up there' (wherever that is) is playing a dirty game with me!

I'm trying to get myself strong again, but I keep being knocked back!

I haven't been able to go out and socialize since my overdose which isn't helping, but so many things are going wrong that it's almost comical.

I wat to move but can't decide whether to rent in Exeter, near my family & it's my home town, or Wells which is a lovely little city which also happens to be flat. I live in Frome which is one of the most hilly towns I've known & it's not at all disabled friendly. Anyway my lease is coming to an end, so I thought now would be a good time to move. I looked online & found some nice retirement flats in both Exter & Frome, so thought I'd view the Wells ones first, as they are closest. I arranged to view 2 flats on Friday ( which also is D day ... DIVORCE day yipee!!!!!), I digress.....

The estate agent was doing all the normal things & then asked about my finances. I explained that I had a house on the market, but was temporarily in receipt of ESA but also had DLA, but I had a son who would act as a guarantor, should they need it. He was really snotty! Told me that as I was high risk, I'd need 6 months rent upfront AND a large deposit. When I protested that I will have capital soon but regardless had never defaulted on my rent, he snorted again & asked in a real sneery way if my sons' income was over £36,000 because they wouldn't consider it if he earns less than that! This is for a tiny one bedroom retirement flat!

This got me thinking - how can I get another flat? So I phoned Devon & Somerset councils & every advice line I could think of & the opinion seems to be to get on the housing register, then if my landlord wants his flat back I will be homeless, then they could help.

I am so demoralised! I got this flat easily, the agent just needed to check that I wasn't a mass murderer, or bankrupt, asked for one months rent as a deposit & I moved in!

At least I've got Housing benefit. Not if a sour sounding lady from adult services has her way.

She has to come to do my financial assessment to see if I have to pay towards my PA , which is ok, but then she heard that I had a house, so why wasn't I living there? I explained about my husband & I breaking up & that I had been forced to find somewhere to live, urgently. She got quite hysterical about not being entitled to help with my rent while I had a house, the fact that it's up for sale & has a resident bully of a husband didn't sway her at all. I now have to look forward to her visit tomorrow, as well as worrying about the Atos check & DLA renewal & selling my house & division of property with soon to be ex, all while feeling very unwell. It's a laugh a minute here!

Sorry to go on for so long, I'm just really cheesed off!

Hope your lives are running a bit smoother

hugs Cobweb x

9 Replies

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  • did you manage to get an advocate yet? I would hope they could find things out for you and sort out the finance woman. If you're not up to or ready for her visit, cancel.

    The snotty E.A. idiot does not know everything, I'd ask others in the agency to do the viewing.

    Like you say, you've a lot on.

    Sending positive thoughts,

    sandra.

  • I have managed to get an advocate to help with ATOS but we are waiting to hear if they will agree to a home visit.

    I saw the snooty lady on Thursday & yes she was a little ray of sunshine! Not. She tied me up in knots but then said I'd got the PA without me pying anything, so that's good but she made me feel like I was not entitled to help. Maybe that was just my depression talking!

  • great about the advocate and the PA!

    regards,

    sadra.

  • Oh honey I'm sorry things are so stressful at the moment. I'm too wibbled to think of anything constructive to write at the moment but I hope you find someone helpful instead of that snotty man. I hope you find somewhere super to live and if you ever feel like you did the other week feel free to PM me

    <gentle hugs> and healing thoughts Storm x

  • Hi cobweb, im new here, so hope u dont minf me leaving a comment, I myself can relate to depression, had many high and low days, they arnt nica at all, even harder when you feel you carnt get any lower, also bad communiction with people dosent help eather, i think sometimes as soon as u mention benifits people look down there nose at u as if your scum. J ust shows there ignorance at the end of the day, dont let no one get you down, there are many places that can help regarding housing, its just knowin where to go and who to ask. Try CRB, or welfare rights, or your local PM, the housing situation int ur fault, so dont let it get you down, but dont help as u feel its another brick wall in your life u have come across again...get a big sledge hammer and knock the bugger down...hold ur head up n be proud of yourself, i know sometimes you think how can i etc, but trust u can, it is had battleing through life at times but its a must, and we have to, just dnt be beat...carnt u ask to speak to somer1 else instead of that snotty estate agent? askat the housing if they have landlords who do private rented accomadation, i know over here in stockport we have a system called the rent bond scheme, its for ppl who become homless, and the loal housing have and know of agencies who accept this scheme, its where u pay half the deposit n the housing pay the other half, aslo they accept ppl on benefits..i know every counsel can be different, but id ask to speak to a housing adviser at your local housing see what options are available...sorry to waffle on...anotehr night of no sleeping, good luck, keep smiling and stay positive xx big hugs sent your way, nicky xx

  • Hello cobweb,i am very new to this site,but no to fibro,i hve had for over 20 years,n i to have self harmed in the past.But please stick with it,you have a lot of friends here.I know we cannot do a lot for you,but wer can listen and understand yur. i to am being asesed next week from atos.And my anxiety is through the roof.. i pray it all works out for. yoi take care f x

  • I can begin to imagine just how far everything has pushed you. My Fibro first began when I was around 22 but I was not diagnosed fianlly until I was 26. And now at 47 I have learnt, just about, to live with it, make it work round me and not the other way round. I know what the depression is like having been there so many times, but as yet, no thoughts of self harm or ending it. I honestly think it depends on what is going on in your life at any given time. For me things have been made easier as I do have an understanding family and this helps immensely. If I did not have them I can honestly say I do not know where I would be now. I really hope things pick up for you along the way xxxxx

    Lin

  • Morning Cobweb,

    I was away for a couple of days and missed this post so here I am having had a good read. Have I got this right your lease comes up soon and you need to move. That bit is positive and the town that is flatish and nearer family sounds good. Now your x hasnt sold the house so he needs a rocket up his ....... so you can get some capital to move.

    Have I got this right. Dont let them bully you! I know how poorley you feel and I think you could do with some help have you talked to the Citizens Advice or any body? I read it again the problem seems that you have a house but you dont except in name at the mo so better not to emphazise that too much. You still need help so try again love.

    Good luck xgins Do try and be upbeat and positive x

  • thanks again for your support, you really are keeping me going!

    I am trying to be positive & upbeat but that tends to lead to me doing something on the spur of the moment, often making matters worse.

    Oh well, as my Nan used to say "it'll all come out in the wash"

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