Fibromyalgia Action UK
39,228 members51,398 posts

waiting for offer

Hi everyone well been told that today or tomorrow i will get my offer of redundancy, by email no one is going to come and chat to me just gonna send me an email. Its bad enough that this time next week will be out of worlk but you would think that 26 years in a job they would send someone to see you and say thankyou.

my husband is fed up of me struggling to get to work and so are my sons and they say take whatever they offer.

I am in a predicament as i am in so much pain every day i struggle like this morning when i could not get dressed as i am incredible pain with my shoulder.

But i have been an independent woman most my life and i am 51 and finding myself facing the dre4aded dole que.

So I have decided that when and it will happen i leave work i am going to convince myself that this stupid ilness did not make me quit i retired early sounds better to me. makes me feel a little less sad speak soon need to rest my shoulder love to all

9 Replies

hello webby hope you are o.k I think someone should come and speak to you rather than an email 26 years is a long time I am sure you will be missed take care love beth x


I feel for you Webby as I have been away from work with Ill health for 16 months now. I am expecting to be 'let go' any time soon and no doubt that will also be by email or letter. Life can be very cruel can't it especially when we enjoyed our jobs and put our heart into it (I know I certainly did anyway). Try to look to the future and see it as an opportunity to try new things and make new friends. Good luck and love to you. Jane x


hiya i was only telling my fella last night this.hes gone back to college as a mature student with our illness and was panicking other day in class.he got the almighty brain fog and felt too silly to ask for instead sat there and was huffing and puffing to himself.

a guy next to him said are you okay mate ive heard and can i help.

he said no and got back to it.he said he hates this illness lots and doesnt want people knowing.

well dont tell people then but dont let this illness become you either at same time.

we might live with it day in and day out but dont let it consume who are you as a person.

no one needs to no the real reason unless you tell them.

but also dont be too hard on yourself either.

its disgusting after all those years you dont even get a golden handshake.or even a leaving gift.

i agree to webbys also look to the future.take each day as it comes and you never know wot round the corner.

you can go into to remission with this...good luck.x


Sammy get your fella to speak to disability department its all confidential, he should get alot off support and even a note taker, no one would have to know in class as they can just sit anywhere, but that way at least he is able to relaxe knowing he will still get the full information at the end. Tell him it can be done I spent three yrs as a student nurse full time, when out in practice I could be working up to 60hrs a week 37.5 on work placement and then up to 30hrs on top for theory work, it was seriously tough going but I did it, and got alot of extra support from the lectures, due to fibro fog, memory etc etc hope this helps smile and hugs xx


Well that is just terrible but so like a company to send in an email, there is no gratitude or loyalty in companies anymore. Disgusting way to treat you after all those years.

yes eairly retirement sounds good, like you decided to take time for yourself. Good for you if you do.

I took eairly retirement for a few years when I was in my thirties (I couldn't hold a kettle let alone walk) once I got a bit better I took jobs again after retraining not that I kept any of them and loosing jobs made me depressed so now I jog along working for myself, permanently skint but happier or was till last weekend xx


Webby, I was 49 when I was made redundant and applied for incapacity redundancy. I was just too ill to continue teaching and was running out of sick leave (which is very generous for teachers).

It takes some getting used to, but not having a boss is fantastic. Apply for DLA and ESA if you have not already. AND PLEASE try to enjoy a time of less stress and effort, a day will come sooner or later when you do very litterally feel the weight lift off your shoulders.

(((((gentle hugs))))

Julie xx


thankyou that makes me feel better


Awww poor webby when I read your post I was sympathetic towards you and absolutely disgusted on your behalf in rqual measures.

Firstly have to say that I truely relate to your fears and concerns about redunancy for those of us lucky to be still able to work despite our painful and dehibilitating health condition, our careers very often distract us from this cursed illness, act as our social life and give our lives routine and meaning and it these factors rather than the actual mechanics of the role that we are so fearful of leaving behind when we are forced into redundancy or early retirement.

Please dont be afraid!! take time out to look at the situation with a clear head & fresh eye, you will now have time on your hands to take up new and challenging hobbies, volunteer in a role where you can offer your skills to help others at your own pace, have duvet days without having to think up weird & wonderful excuses to tell the boss, read books watch crap tv, spend time getting in touch with nature in your own garden or local area catch up with friends, join a 50+ group in your area (these groups provide social leisure & educational opportunities) and generally claim back the chunk of your life that was dedicated to work :-) think positive and enjoy.

Secondly may i voice my outrage at the disgusting and caviler treatment being dished up to you by a firm you have dedicated 26 loyal years of work to. To be informed of your redundancy terms by email is a very poor and unprofessional act. It wouldnt cost much either financially or morally for a home visit from a HR personel to explain the proceedure and thank you for your commitment loyalty and dedication over the decades.

I think your situation and diabolical treatment should once again serve as a warning to those of us who have at times missed out on vital family moments to accomodate our work agenda; that ultimately we are all indespensible and replaceable and as they say - only a number!!! Our true worth is only known in our role within both our family and friendship so treasure this time with them.

Warm hugs winging their way from belfast stay strong positive and have fun with this new stage of ur life :-) Dixie xx


thankyou dixie this is indeed going to be a new stage in my ever changing life


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