I do calligraphy at a beginner to intermediate level. Enough that people have asked me to do wedding invitations.
I offered to do some wedding invitations and spent a lot of time laying out and practising. When it came to actually do the invitations, I was/am in a flare and it actually hurts to write and my fingers swell so I can't make a fist.
The deadline for the invitations was coming upon me and I had to make the horrid decision to let the Bride know I was physically unable to do them.
Justifiably, she is no doubt angry. She hasn't had a go and text messages have been followed up with a x.
The guilt I am putting on myself is making my mental health plummet and the stress of it is manifesting itself in feeling physically sick.
When I do something wrong I go overboard with the apologies and this is no different. Have sent a card and then sent flowers. I haven't seen her since I told her about the news and she knows I am quite poorly however I am so scared of seeing her that I want to cancel my appointments with her. I don't like confrontations and again she has every right to be pissed at me.
This experience has made me realise that my dream of starting a calligraphy service isn't going to come about and also I am only going to say yes to doing things for people on the understanding that it has to be done in my time.
Is there anyone else out there that feels guilty for letting people down? If so, how do you handle it?
Thanks for reading.