stressed and whole body twitching

[fairylady]

Hi sorry just need to vent,

My 11 yr old is refusing to go to school. She has been pretending to be sick for the last 2 days and this afternoon she said she is not going back to school.

She has been distraught about going to school.

I have asked her why and if there is anything going off at school tha has upset her, told her it will be ok, reassured her, told her its the law she has to go, told her I could get into trouble shouted at her, nothing has worked.

She says she has no friends and true she doesnt have any close friends here. ( we movd a couple of yrs ago and she was so popular and had so many close friends there and she jus hasnt been able to make any close friends here.

She as got a teacher she doesnt like and i think she doesnt like Maddie either. I have heard some horrible things that she has said to the children.

another child has told maddie tonight that someone in the class has told this teacher maddie is 'wagging' and her responce was well she needs to stop wagging and get back to school.

So maddie is stressing about that now.

I have spoke to her dad and he has spoken to her but that has not helped.

I am in agony myself and the dr wont give me anything else for the pain and now my whole body is twitching.

I am going to have to drag her up to school in the morning which will take me an hr to walk her there and thats if I can actually doesnt run off.

I am so stressed, in so much pain just had enough cant cope

sorry

hugs

Penny xxx

[Hidden]

hi i think perhaps you really need to talk to her school about this as most schools now are abnti bullying and i think you need to speak to the head too as well as her form tutor

i would tell her she can have a sleepover at the wekend get them a dvd etc and make into a make over sleep over just 2/4 girls go get loads of cheap make up spray in or clip in colours for their hair etc etc and if you have a wii do that too help her make the 4 invites and they can have pizza and coke and ice cream and see if that gets her some friends she nust have 2/4 she talks too make it a regular thing once a month or every 6 weeks and see if that helps if she is happy too she will enjoy it become very popular very quickly and hopefully her school work and life ill improve love yto you diddle x

[fairylady]

thank you diddle thats a great idea about the sleepover I will give it a go abit of bribery love it lol

I am going to speak to her head teacher in the morning, It just makes life so much harder on top of everything else.

I am still struggling to come to terms withfibro and my depression and my gallstones

I will get there

Thank you again

hugs

Penny xxx

[Hidden]

Oh Penny, vent a way hun, I am not a parent, but was a child, just like your daughter.

From the age of 5 -16 I hated going to school. No real major problems. I just did not like school. Each and every morning was a battle with my poor mum, like you she tried everything.

She would get me in, then get a phone call to say I was gone.

Oh the trouble I have caused.

So hun, bigs hugs to you, we certainly put our mums through it.

Eleven is a strange age, always think when friendship groups begin to change and reshape. Going to secondary school, puberty it is a challenging time.

Regarding attending school being law, get her to google it and then she can read it for her self.

I am also a youth worker in my area, I would say look for groups / things to do in your area. Maybe if she goes to school with out a fuss each morning. she could attend these or have a friend over from her class, or a treat she decides. Does not have to cost alot, free in better, Movie night.

Sometimes one to one they get on much better.

Also the point about her teacher not liking her, as a professional she has a duty of care for your daughter. Have a chat with her teacher, regarding your concerns and your daughters about attending school, the support would really help. It may break the ice and start a new chapter.

If you continued to get the impression I would speak to the schools head.

Hope all goes well, big but gentle hugs. Always here to chat to.

Lou x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Was typing this and then read diddles reply. Yep sleep overs are fab and they do work as a carrott, My mum bless her used them all the time. Lol

[fairylady]

Thank you Lou,

It is a tricky age to be at and I do understand where she is coming from.

I am going to ring the head in the morning

as for the teacher she has called a boy with learning and challenging behaviour that he is stupid

told another child off because he had wind and said to stop it as she didnt want to breath in his poo particles

I believe that is uneceptable behaviour from a teacher they wouldnt let a child say such things

we shall see what tomorrow brings

I am so tired and hurt all over and dreading the battle in the morning

my depression is really bad think I will ring dr as wel

gentle hugs back xx

on the bright side I have boughtan electric blanket to see if it helps with my pain at night should be here tomorrow lol

xxx

[Hidden in reply to fairylady]

yep your right they would not allow a child to talk like that and respect works both ways, If they wish to be respected by the pupils they must respect them.

Hope all goes well, know its hard try not to worry.

Take care of yourself, sorry to hear you not feeling great. This site is good always someone to talk to.

Oooh electric blanket, is it a fleece one ? if so pm if you dont mind where from fancy one of them.

Lou x

[Ang01]

Aw Fairylady, not a nice position for your daughter or you to be in. That teacher sounds right out of order making those remarks especially to the special needs pupil who can't help who they are. I think you are warranted in speaking to the head and they should look at investigating the actions of the teacher so that other children are not upset by her inappropriate behaviour.

My neice was about the same age as your daughter when she had a teacher that didn't like her and it made that year in school hell for her. She is not usually a sensitive child but whatever went on with that teacher really upset her. That is when they need friends around them though to support them. A sleepover would be a good idea and would help her to establish new friendships.

Its no wonder you are feeling stressed and in pain, anything of this nature always causes me to feel worse. Easy to say but try not to get too stressed, may be a good idea to ring the Head of the school and say that you need to meet with them before your daughter goes back, that may reassure her too if she feels someone is taking notice of her and believing that she has a problem.

Take care and let us know how you get on. Love Angela xx

[fairylady]

Thank you Angela,

she is refusing to go back to school until I have spoken to her head which I have told her I will do in the morning

I will try and get him to come out to me as I am not sure I could go that far at the momnet.

I have said she can have a sleep over, she said she has no friends to ask but I said she can give it some thought, but I think she is worried about being turned down/ rejected but it has given her something to think about

thank you for your comment it has been really useful

hugs

Penny xx

[westgate]

Just another thought. My 10yo daughter, has started to not want to do things. the reason transpired that she was really worried about me.

Her reason for not wanting to go on a residential school trip recently, which she should have been excited about was ''what if something happens to you? How will i know? Who will help you if im away?''

They are soo complex!

Hang on in there...xx

[fairylady]

Hi westgate,

Yes you may be right there she does worry about me,

I have spoken to the head master this morning and he was really good and said that he will sit down with Maddie and have a chat and see what is bthering her and what he can do to help, So I have got her to go in this afternoon. I hope the head does what he said he would, fingers crossed

hugs Penny xx