it never rains it storms

my husband has been diagnosed with advanced luekemia prognosis not good starts chemo this morning.

i have just received a form from the dreaded atos to see if i am fit to work hell i li vein bed or electric wheelchair cant walk or stand for orethan two minutes cant sit straight for than ten minutes cant breathe due to heartfailure have indef incapacity and higher rate dla two carers a day

and i bet my last quid they fail me

i am so sick of karma she seems to have lost way and stuck on me p

16 Replies

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  • Petal - tell them what you have just told us and how can they not pass you. Key is that you make it clear you can not walk 200metres and that if someone asked to use a manual wheelchair for 200metres you couldn't do that either. They are looking to see if you could do a sit down job such as on a supermarket checkout - the lack of ability to sit for more than 10 mins def wins the points there. Just tell it as it is and you will be fine.

    Is your husband going to do the Chemo? Don't let yourself get worn out nursing him - you have yourself to worry about and he is damn lucky you are kind enough to put a room over his head. If he needs carers tell him to see the GP and apply through social services - don't let him prey on your good heart.

    Julie xxx

  • Dear faded blossom what horrid news.My sympathy to you both!

    My dog has just opened the cat litter all over my bedroom - got to go much love x gins

  • Sending you big hugs.

    I hope atos will be nice to you, i have my fingers crossed for you.

    Its such sad news that your husband has cancer. My partner had cancer a couple of years back and its so not nice.

    Good luck with everything. hugs, kel xxx

  • Hi gentle hugs

    I am sorry about your husbands cancer i hope you get lots of good support and care.

    i know its important to look after yourself at the same time.

    you sound as if you will be ok for the dreaded form as long as your honest. if not apeal apeal ..

    dont forget to ask for all the help and support you can

    gentle dyslexic hugs

  • Hi

    So sorry to hear your husband is very poorly. I'm sending you both big loving hugs full of positive healing energy. Bach flower remedies can be good for you to take at this time too, they really can help you emotionally, have a look at these website to help you choose which ones you need. They don't interfer with any medication you are taking and are very safe for anyone to take, even babies. If you are not sure which one to take Rescue Remedy is always a good one to start with. bachcentre.com/centre/remed... and nelsonsnaturalworld.com/en-...

    Big hugs xx

  • hi faded blossom, i can honestly say i know how you feeling, my husband is going through same with leulemia, just finished 2 lots of chemo, which made him very ill, we are now going through the bone marrow process, seeing docs about this next week, about going on transplant list. it is really taking its toll on me, with visiting etc and looking after him and house, im a mess. think its love that keeps me going and a cocktail of pills, good luck to you both, soft hugs and good wishes xxxx

  • ope u r holding up chemo failed to old for transplant less than 4 months to live but hey each day is a new dawn. am late with replies as usual

  • Thanks for all the support rob is 68 and they will not condidrr a transplant at all we have to live in hope chemo will help but there is only a 40 percent chance of tgat and a fi e percent chance chemo could kill him down to hanging on with two toe nails as all the rest of my hanging in has broken fingernails p

  • fadedblossom - I don't want to rain on your parade, I wish you and your DH luck all the way! But as Julie said, don't let yourself get worn out. I know from experience you will want to nurse your husband, but you must think of yourself too. In October it will be 9 years since my DH died, following a massive heart attack in January, he was left with severe heart failure, it was hard, all the hospital visiting, I was 46 when he died at 50. If he wasn't in hospital I was caring for him at home, I think I must have run on adrenaline for the whole of that 9 months, at the end I totally crashed! Hopefully in your case there won't be an end for some time to come yet, so you need to conserve your energy and pace yourself.

    On a very down side, as bad as my DH was, (he had a quadruple bypass, and his heart remodelled in the April), and he was refused DLA, even with appeal, and under the special rules. When he died I rang them and I did get the money he was owed, but it would have come in useful while DH was still here! Prepare for a fight, hopefully you won't need it though. GOOD LUCK!!

  • I have dla indef as i am also in heart failure its the incapacity they are checking even tho i have a letter of indef for that as well

  • so sorry about your hubby. hope you get all the help you both need xxxx

  • wishing u and ur husband the best of luck and soft hugs

    just don't let them grind u down x

  • Hope the chemo went without your hubby getting too sick. Praying for you both for healing and strength in your trials. Love and hugs Fi xxx

  • How are YOU doing Petal? I worry for you and your kind, generous heart

    Julie xx

  • Ten days of chemo twuce a day then threw weeks with me theb tendays treatment three weeks ten days and a further four weeks then test to if it worked i will be looking after him for six months

    We all pay for our mistakes i guess. ...... I let thw family down retribution is here. P

  • You are not to blame, FB - sometimes, life just is crap to the nicest of people. I learned a long time ago that, however hard you try, your actions don't create or prevent bad things.

    Gentle hugs for both you and your husband, and try to take comfort in the support that you have here.

    Sara xx

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