How I am coping.

[nanatre]

After my blog last week about my dad dying and my so called family not letting me know.

Well, a copy of my Dads will came through today, he really did leave 3 of us out.

I havent been sleeping well, hahaha but not because of Fibro for a change.

I sit and look at this piece of paper shaking my head. He even left a thousand pound for my sisters eldest girl and nothing for her other 2? How in the hell must they be feeling? They will be ok as my sister is named in the will.

I just cannot imagine sitting there writing my will leaving any of my 5 children out!

I am just...............oh I dont know what I am.

I was always told I was daddys girl, Oh yeah course I was.

I have been asking around for some advice as to wether I should contest with my other 2 brothers. My daughter rang one practice today for some info, they said they will make an appointment and could I go next Tuesday, my daughter says she is coming with me so I say yes ok. They then ask how we will be paying, its £250 an hour!!!!!

Thats laughable lol.

So, back to where I was before, not written in, penniless and still wondering what he hell he was thinking?

xxx

[julieevh]

Nanatre, don't drive yourself crazy over this. Your father was very heaviy influenced by your sister who seemed to have some sort of hold over him. This is going to eat you up if you let it.

As I said last time the only people who win in a dispute are the solicitors even if you can find a no win no fee solicitor to take on the case you have all the stress; for example you would have to prove that the balance of your Father's mind had been altered; in reality how could you do that?

Sorry not to be upbeat but I worry for you embarking into this highly stressful as well as expensive, process.

Julie xx

[roundthebenz in reply to julieevh]

I think proving that his mind was altered would be very easy to prove. His very will is not that of a mind that is thinking straight.

[irenegee]

Please don't beat yourself up over this you have done nothing wrong.

Sometimes in life we waste energy worrying about things we can't change? (and you can't change your fathers will) my advice to you is let it be and put your energy into you and your family and let the rest get on with it.

give yourself time to grieve and then move on

keep smiling x

[roundthebenz in reply to irenegee]

I believe that we can change anything that we want to. I have contested a number of things and had them changed. Even the Government!!! The DVLA sent me a document aqbout my car licence. I read it as it was worded but they thought otherwise and wanted to fine me plkus more because I challenged it. I took it to court and the Judge agreed with me. They obviously thought that what they had written was right but worded it badly. They had to reprint millions of forms!! I wonder how much money they made out of people paying up when they didn't need to have done?

If we don't fight back they get away with it, whoever 'they' may be.

[Hidden]

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad passing away and now the situation regarding his Will. I am answering this on a personal level regarding what I would do, so please don't be offended if you don't agree with me. I would look at the situation as it is, he didn't include me in the Will so those were his wishes. On that basis I wouldn't want any money from it. I know it's incredibly unfair how it's all worked out, but do you really want to put yourself through a lengthy costly legal process to inherit some money that goes against what your Dad wanted.

It is a horrendous position for you to find yourself in and my heart goes out to you. It's easy for me to sit in my chair and say I would do this and that, I can't imagine how awful it feels for you right now not really knowing what to do.

At the end of the day go with your heart, that's all you can do. If you think you should battle for a share of the money that's your choice, just be prepared for it to be very costly and not particularly pleasant if people pop out of the woodwork to disagree with you. Families can be complicated at these times especially contesting Wills.

As Irene says, give yourself time to grieve, count your blessings. Take care.

[Frotbanana in reply to Hidden]

I think this is good advice. Deaths in families can bring out the worst in people. I would let it go too because it is not worth all the stress involved especially when one is in bad health already.

[Hidden]

Hi pleasetry notto get yourself upset it sounds to me like your dad wa very vunerable and whilst he was like this your other siblings took advantage of the situation and manipulated and bullied for want of a better word him intomaking another will which bless him he probably signed oblivious a sto what was in it

personally i would not even go to a solicitor and try and contest the will i would let them get on with it and let them live with what they had done and hope that their consioneses prick them as it will at some point as they know they have done wrong

it is not worth all the hassle of ploughing through it all and of course you could lose as they may have a water tight story then you would just be dragging all this out for nothing so i wouldlet them get on with it

would having a lump sum of money make you happy ??? or help you with the losss of your dad?? i dont think it would so i would grieve for your dad and go and put flowers on his headstone or if you dont want to do thta uou could plant a rose bush or something in your garden in memeory of him and then when you wanted you could pop there and have a chat and tell your dad everything

hope this helps love to you diddle xxx

[FionaP]

Hi Nanantre. I said in your last blog that Solisitors are the only real winners in contesting will cases. Thery will drag out cases to charge stupid fees even £60 and up for letters/phone calls.

It is very hard to contest as even though you are family none of us have a right to our parents belongings.

I would hate to see you on here dragged through pain and suffering to end in debt as well.

Think very carefully before embarking on a dispute, what it is you would gain and loose.

I hope that whatever you decide brings you peace of mind and that you are able to grieve and then move on happily xx

[nanny4]

Hi there,I agree with everyone,and have tri say,I wouldn't want what wasn't left to me.

I had a rocky relationship with my mother before she passed away 3 tears ago,she changed her will as to who was flavour of the month at the time.

Let's just say,my brother had wronged her in so many ways,when he was on drugs,in prison then on drugs again,I cared for a lot as a young teenager as she suffered with severe illnesses,I was there for. her when she was dxd with breast cancer,I comforted her when all my brother was ever interested in was money.

I never really knew why I was treated like I was,but hey,I know I am a good person!

Please don't beat yourself up about things,at the end of the day,all you will achieve is a worsening of your health.

Take care,Sandy.

[Dixiesdaughter]

Hi Nanatre

I dont have any experience in regards to your situation so dont wish to comment on it except to say that ive read through the other comments relating to your blog and feel that people have given you some sound and heartfelt advice to ponder on and I hope you find it useful. I just wanted to send you a hug )))))((((( and let you know im thinking of and praying for you. May god grant you comfort and strenght at this difficult time. God bless nd take care of you and all the important people in your life x x Dixie.

[roundthebenz]

Maybe these people could help?

contestawill2win.com/contes...

[Sthandra]

Hi sorry to hear about your dad I lost my mum to lung cancer 2 years ago she wrote out one of those do it yourself wills but was rushed into hospital before she had time to sign it she was going to do it the next day when my brothers friends came round as they were to be witnesses she left her money not that it was much to my younger brother but I found I didn't mind werd or what then I thought about it what had my older brother and I done to deserve it there wouldn't be much left after the bils were paid anyway my younger brother had been my mums carer for the past 20 years she had fibromyalgia as does he, my older brother and half sister are at the moment ok .we still went by what the will said even though it was un signed . Hope you find solace soon big hug