tunnel light?

tunnel light?

i have been very very down and it culminated in my attempting to finish my self off on friday evening i have had to be watched closely and m slowly very slowly beginning to communicate with people again.

please folks if you are depressed or down phone someone and just let them talk even you cant i dont know hoe long it wwill be before i get to laughing again. i wrote a lot of poetry at this time of darkness it appears that is when i write my poems best.

the other thing i want to mention is that a member from here that i have never actually met and who has been down herself took the time to keep messaging me on my phone and then sent me some flowers with cute net butterflies and some chocolates, it was not so much the gift but to realise that someone somewhere actually did care if i lived or died.even tho she had never met me.

thanks kia the flowers were the beginning of my road back i am centering on the fact that you did this adwhen i am fit again mentally i will be coming to meet you in person.

i am posting apicture of me as therewasafeeling that i was dark skinned as i was from zimabwe I found that amusing and am just making sure there is a face to the rubbish i write. thanks to all the others who sent me messages on fb etc. it actually does help. i am the sixty year old one with fuzzy hair. petal

13 Replies

  • Ohh Petal I am so sorry to hear that you got that desperate; that level of depression is what happens when you have been too strong for too long I guess.

    I hope you start to feel more positive and hopeful really soon - your friend Kia sounds like an angel:-)

    Take it one moment at a time and search for something to be glad about ... there is always something no matter how small and trivial (eg today the sun shone and the roses in my garden smelt beautiful) and for me the things I was glad about were lifesavers when I was at my lowest.

    All the best

    Julie xxx

  • )))))hugs((((( so sorry to hear you had reached such a low point and thankful ur still here with us battling on. I hope those in dispair take heed of your advice in their own time of need and reach out a hand for help. No matter how bleak things seem at the time thete is always always light at the end of the tunnel sometimes we just need to be pointed towards the sun. God bless the individual who took the time to show you support and understanding she is trully an 'earth angel' my prayers are going out tonite to you and anyone else who feels helpless hopeless lost & alone plz remember when life gets unbearable there is always sumone who hears ur silent cry Xx

  • Ps lov the foto :-)

  • I am so sorry that this happened to you, I did the same about 4 years ago, and don't usually talk about it.

    Well done for telling us. I love your photo, and hope you feel better soon. Your poetry is wonderful, you are very talented, best wishes to you, Cazx

  • Hi Petal

    I am so glad you are back online again as I have missed you and it is lovely to see a pic of you finally.

    I am glad my aim of sending you the flowers proved people do care about you and don't ever stop your poetry they are so deep and lovely.

    It will take time hun but hopefully you are on the road to recovery. xx

  • so sorry to read you felt so poorly and at end of your tether hopefully you are are the road back to recovery an what a lovely thing to do sending you flowers thats the best thing about this site great people who take time to read and respond back and try and give you helpful advice , love your poems , keep your chin up lovey and one day at a time eh xxx BIG HUGS XXXX

  • Hi Petal

    Hugs and there are people who care even if they do not know you. There is always hope, great photo and wish I had that much hair.


  • Hi Petal,

    oh bless you, i'm so very sorry that you got so low. I've never suffered depression, thankfully, and your open and honest post really touched me. from the bottom of my heart i wish you well and i hope you find peace of mind and the resolve to fight on and get back to yourself.

    People DO CARE, the people on here care, we're all in the same boat to one degree or another and there is always someone you can talk to.

    It's great to see a photo of you, bit of a cheeky grin going on i thought lol.

    Wishing you all the best, slow road to recovery i should think, but even small steps can turn out to be big ones.....your journey has started and i hope the path is an easy one.

    Thoughts and hugs

    Jan xxxx

  • Hi Petal - I'm so glad that you're still here. I care about you and I need you. Your lovely poems help me. I write the odd bit too and understand that thing about being at our most creative when we are very down.

    I tried twice round about this time last year and my poor Dad found me and called an ambulance both times. I do hope you are feelling better.


  • petal, i dont think you know how lovely you are, xx

  • Oh Petal I am sorry you have been having a rough time. I am glad you are still here I would miss your posts and poetry xx

  • i know how you feel petal,i close myself down periodically and feel suicide to be a better option,i am obviously still here at present but i know really i don't want to be,i feel there are two of me,the one who puts a good act on for all the world to see, and the other me who just doesn't want t go through this s***t any more,in my live i only have my partner i have no parents to care about me or family,they never have ,i always thought if i survived my childhood i would survive anything ,then i got fibro and spondylosis and other health issues at 35 ,13 years ago ,and i completley understand,it isn't you actually want to die,it's just you want to be pain free isn't it?,gentle hugs xxx

  • Oh Petal, pleased to see you back on-line, I've been reading your posts and they have helped me so much.

    Big (but gentle) hugs to you love J

    I love your photo :-D

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