Fibromyalgia Action UK
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hi all bit of a personal question hopefully wont offend:-) does having fibro impact on ur libido and sex life?

How do people on here manage to maintain their intimate relationship with partner when their in pain or when fibro impacts on their eh hmmm mobility :-) im divorced oh god numerous yrs now and choose not to date again untill all my kids were grown up. Now they are :-) and im finally in a new relationship. Obviously not looking to swing from chandaliers at my age (a young 43) and in my condition (sore,sore,sore) I reckon that ship mite have sailed lol but would appriciate some advice or tips on how others keep da romance alive :-)

P.s. I have tried a few of these listed below with varying results

Couples massage- ouch ouch ouch!!!

Date nights- have had to cancle so many due to tiredness or pain

Cuddle on sofa to watch girly romantic film - either I cudnt get comfortable or he fell asleep from sheer boredom lol

Sexi undies - flippin nightmare to take off seductively when hands are clawed or throbbin with pain (lmao)

On verge of giving up (well sometimes;-) so all advice welcomed :-)

19 Replies

Hi Dixiesdaughter, thank you for your message, it's bound to bring a smile or a giggle to many of us! ;)

I would imagine we are all different regarding sex as our pain and fatigue levels are different too. There will no doubt be many members who are still able to have a healthy sex life with their partners, but also many who cannot even bear the thought because they hurt too much and are too exhausted to even raise a smile! Even after some vigorous activity most people I would imagine would have to take it easy the next day as a result.

If you click on the link below, it will take you to UK Fibromyalgia where there is info and some suggestions on the subject, hope it helps! Be careful when swinging from the chandeliers, you could do yourself a mischief lol! ;)


Lol hi Libbyde thanx for link will look it up :-) question was wrote tongue firmly in cheek in order to give a laff- so nice da know it did. But it was also a serious question bcuz keeping a relationship going in the real world can be hard enuff, throw fibro into the mix and OMG it makes it so much harder - well ya kno wat i mean ;-) lol x


I know exactly what you mean, take care! :) ;)


hi i would say screamming ouch my hip is not the greatest turn on ...

its not easy but

i napped before i went out ..

take away is a good one not so far to go after.

i guess its not great but i know cuddles and xxs are just as nice after all use your imajination

eddible undies or get him to take them off not you is fun ..

do all the things that help you relax before if your on pain killers check with your doctor see if you can alter them for those romantic nights ..

have fun gentle dyslexic hugs xx


lol , x


Lol thanx libby good advice and funny ya made me laugh x


* lexie - laughing so hard at ur reply i cudnt even get ur name right - hope that doesnt happen to me in the throes of passion - now that wud be a reak mood killer lol :-)


*real lol


Am I the only fella to read this.

For me sex became too painful most of the time and off-putting enough to stop me being physically able. Very frustrating !

Now also got prostrate cancer and on female hormone treatment so I have warned my neighbours if they see me with lipstick and a skirt and having hot flushes---------------


Lol ack retiredpharm dont sweat it (literalily) im shur any of us gurls on here will lend ya a nice wee dress and teach ya how to put on lippy lol joking aside its nice ta get a male perspective. Relationships are hard enough to keep goin in this day & age without the added burden of a medical condition. I hope ur getting good treatment and support for ur latest condition. Isnt it amazing how fibro has a habit of inviting friends to join him in his onslaught on ur body. Take care of yourself x


keep trying, hun. it shouldn't all be one way fun either. make him help.

massage is good but gently, gently. make him massage you more than t'other way round. you deserve it.

get your silky lingerie a size too big so you can shrug it off :-D

make sure you pee before you play, and make him make you feel good by instructing him on what makes you feel good. I find that my mouth always works to bring pleasure when my body and/or hands cannot. It has changed sex for us, but has also added something that might not otherwise have come to us.


Thanx sammicat theres sum gud advice there il def giv it a try :-) cheers


I have to say that since having fibro and being on so many meds, my sex drive has definitely taken a nose dive!! It was part of the cause of my divorce (not all) but now I been with my new partner for over seven years now, and of course I still want to be able to 'show' my love for him.

Fortunately, he's a very understanding man and is not at all demanding. We talked about my condition, especially when it became worse around three years ago and the impact that it had on our private life and we were lucky enough to able to carry on, although now it is almost always left to him to do all the 'energetic bits'!!!!;)

I'm happy to give idea's for good techniques that work for us and for people with pain problems etc. but would be happier to do so via pmg if anyone wants advice :) xxxx


Thanx all for your candid and honest replys. Keepin a relationship going is a work in progress for any couple, it becomes that little bit harder when ya add fibro to da mix. I guess as with all fibro related things its about planning, pacing oh and being inventive - nd i think we prob all deserve an A+ wen it comes to inventiveness :-) to all out there wheter ur trying to maintain a loving partnership, just dipping your toe back in da waters of the dating world or signing on to become a fukly fledged cougar, best of luck and as we say in belfast. - keep her lit!!! X


God iam the opposite dispite the pain i want sex, i see partner every 2 weeks as he works away, but when he comes home he wont do the " business ": as he say he doesnt want to hurt me and all i want is to feel close , ive told him ill worry about the pain afterwards lol :) paula x


Lol Go paula and can I have a bucketfull of watever ur on ;-) cheers & keep swing in from the chandaliers x


Haha! Glad this thread was started as was going to start one myself. I don't have much libido these days - probably a combination of my age (early 50s) and also my meds. But penetration has always been painful even when young and so preferred mutual pleasuring and other things! But as I say don't have the drive much at the moment and talk about sore bits! As for weeing beforehand - when you wee as much as I do that becomes a bit academic!


No libido, sex stopped for me three years ago, me and my partner (who decided to move out and live alone but come round five nights a week) don't kiss or cuddle anymore. This thing has taken everything away from me.


Oh tibby im soooo sorry to hear that. Fingers crossed you nd ur partner find some other painfree ways to express ur lov. Hugs ))))))(((((