So crazy but true. Tomorrow I'll find out if my surgery is happnening soon or a bit later. No worries about any of it whatsoever. I've stopped smoking like they asked. I'll stop the nicotine using Zyban once they tell me it's definitely time for surgery. House will be looked after, cat and dog will be looked after. Will make sure folk pop in and out to see how my Dad is - what's to worry about! Even got meals on wheels arranged for first few weeks depending on how major the surgery is.
Wouldn't it be great if this was how it was with fibro? Dad can't drive anymore. I can't afford to keep mine on the road. Got a disabled bus pass but will I have the strength to walk to the bus stop. Will I get the right seat in case I have to head for the door quick cos of panic attack or feeling sick with different meds?
Will I have a brain that's functional enough to understand what they are saying to me? Must remember my notebook for important bits. I must make sure they cut the right one off after all!
Will I even be able to get out of bed. It was touch and go this morning. Tried good sleep hygeine. Went to bed at 12, up at 8, made a coffee, sat on the sofa to watch the news, woke up at 3 covered in cold coffee.
Will I want to live tomorrow enough to go at all. Already had one psychiatric referral when I said I'd rather let nature take it's course as my quality of life wasn't worth fighting for.
You get the idea folks. All I can do is my best. I'm broke but If my local taxi driver is available, he'll take me there on tick. If it has to be baby wipes and dry shampoo then it will be.
Shouldn't be like this but I've tried patient transport and the stress of being driven all over the county from 10 am when my appt was at 2 pm made me ill for weeks. I got a taxi back on tick that day too!
Sure you've all had your similar experience from what should be the joy of your daughters wedding to a loved one's funeral. It's the not knowing what the day will bring that gets to me!
I know you'll be wishing me luck, including me in your prayers and sending me lots of gentle hugs. Thanks in advance. I'll keep them wrapped round me to keep me safe.