chuckles for Lexophiles (word lovers)

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

A backward poet writes inverse.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key..

A calendar's days are numbered.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

Those who get too big for their breeches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine ...

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it..

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.

7 Replies

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  • Ha ha very very clever. I have seen one or two of these before, but not the majority. Unless of course Kate you have been tiring yourself out all day coming up with this little lot!!!!!!!!!!

  • l have tears running down my face because of you!!!! love it and am still laughing!!!

  • thats lovely really clever i will copy that and kkep it love diddle x

  • Ohhhhh I can't breathe from laughing............ excellent

    Hugs

    Sue xxx

  • Thats brilliant - thanks for cheering me up! lol

    xx

  • Glad you liked them, there are more here

    fibroaction.healthunlocked....

    happy hugs, kate :)

  • I think I'll tag the next one #chuckles. If everyone did the same you'd just have to click on the tag when you felt like a giggle

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