My first drink with my son. plus idio... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

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My first drink with my son. plus idiot sightings. please read as they are quite amusing.

tettridge profile image
14 Replies

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first pint.

Off we went to our local which is only two blocks from the house. I got him a Castle Ale ..... he didn't like it – so I had it.

Then I got him a Carling Black Label, he didn't like it, so I had it.

It was the same with the Windhoek Lager and Premium Dry Cider.

By the time we got down to the whisky I could hardly push the pram back home.

This is not entirely true, but only because, well I can't actually think of a reason.

IDIOT SIGHTING No.1

My daughter and I went to the McDonald's check-out to pay our bill and I gave the clerk a £5 note.

Our total bill was £4.20, so I also handed her a 20 pence piece.

She said, 'You gave me too much money.'

I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.'

She sighed and went to get the Manager who asked me to repeat my request.

I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but we do not do that kind of thing.'

The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at MacDonald's in St Albans , Hertfordshire.!!

IDIOT SIGHTING No 2

We had to have the garage door repaired The GARADOR repairman told us

that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.

I thought for a moment, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.'

I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two..'

We haven't used Garador repair since. Happened in Moor Park , near Watford .

IDIOT SIGHTING No 3

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the

Highways Department to request the removal of the 'DEER CROSSING' sign

from our road.

The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars on this stretch of road!

I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing, any-more.'

Story from Potters Bar, Hertfordshire.

IDIOT SIGHTING No 4

My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried Chicken and ordered a Taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'

He said he was sorry, but they only had Iceberg Lettuce.

>From South Oxhey , Hertfordshire.

IDIOT SIGHTING No 5

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,

'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'

To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'

He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened at Luton Airport

IDIOT SIGHTING No 6

The traffic light on the corner buzzes when the lights turn red and it is safe to cross the road.

I was crossing with an intellectually challenged friend of mine

She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She is a Local County Council employee in St Albans , Hertfordshire. (And she's NOT blonde)

IDIOT SIGHTING No 7

When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our car,

we were told the keys had been locked in it.

We went to the Service Department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the Driver's door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door-handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'its open!'

His reply: 'I know. I already did that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans , Hertfordshire.

Take care and kindest regards

Terry

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tettridge profile image
tettridge
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14 Replies
TheAuthor profile image
TheAuthor

Hi tettridge

Thank you so much for those they were really great!

I have got an idiot story of my own. Oh no! That was me?

Ken

fenbadger profile image
fenbadger in reply toTheAuthor

The Goons had specially drowned idiots. :P

Heres one for you Terry. Oh and it is true.

A lady was telling us that she had failed her written part of the driving test. She didn`t know the order of the traffic lights.

"Well how should I know she wailed "

The worrying part was that she was the lollipop lady working on the traffic light controled crossing of a very busy dual carriageway.

scary or what? Hoping that you are having an ok day hugs sue

tettridge profile image
tettridge in reply to

Yes but in her defines she only had to wait for the Green light and the audible signal to let them go, then her lights would go red so she would stop the children.

in reply totettridge

Not that simple Terry. There were 2 ladies to cross the children over two lane of the dual carridgway and then one of them had to rush to the side road and judge the lights to know when to cross the mommys little darlings over the side road.Then rush back before the lights turned red They took it in turn to do the hard part. So you see she should have known. sue

tettridge profile image
tettridge in reply to

Some people just do not have a clue about life.

Tannels profile image
Tannels

Really good. Some great ones, made me laugh.

Tannels x

Some realy funny ones there :)

Lenny profile image
Lenny

Ha ha brilliant....the first story is about my ex I think ;-)

fibro profile image
fibro

These are just sooooo true! I love it! :)

The one about handing the extra 20p change in mcD's is definitely true, well it happened in KFC to my husband. He couldn't believe that they just didn't understand he was just trying to be helpful!!!!

Thanks for sharing, it did give me a much needed chuckle :) xx

Julie63 profile image
Julie63

Yes, thank you Terry, these are very funny and gave me a good giggle. Hugs, Julie xxx

aura2 profile image
aura2

Thank you made me laugh so needed on a bed day x

lilian68 profile image
lilian68

these are really good thanks for sharing x

fenbadger profile image
fenbadger

Sounds like candidates for the Darwin Award, you know the one where you're prevented from breeding so as not to destroy mankind's evolution :P

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