I need to scream!!!

Hi all. Well just come back from the CBT and usually so positive after but now terrified. She has informed me we only have 3 more sessions left. What will i do without her?

My goals was to think of myself without changing my nature to stop letting people walk over me and abuse my trust.

I explained my fibro and depression has been worse these last 2 weeks, what with food poisoning, migraines again and the kids stressing me big time.

Unfortunately the local FMS support group is 2 bus rides away and i just cannot manage that.

But she agrees, my son disrespecting me, expecting me to do everything for him and not helping me has to stop, so i am going (childish i know but fed up with nagging him)put up house rules over the place, ie wash dishes after eating, tidy room, shut doors quietly etc.

Then after June when my daughter is married (she so stressy at mo) and son been on his lads holiday i am going to sit them all down and talk to them, i am their mum but also a person who is ill, i need understanding and help and they have to stop relying on me for everything whether it be babysitting, doing things, supplying them with money or buying things for them

If i can get that major stress out the way i can then learn to Pace, Prioritise and Plan and hopefully get this darn illness under control.

I forgot to take the crutch so my legs started burning and i sat down in the chair heavu and jarred my back so just had to take meds. Im now not moving from the bed for the rest day.

I have got rid of so called friends that deserted me and slowly learning to make new friends.

So fingers crossed and time to get those house rules wrote lol.

Hope all had a good day.

4 Replies

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  • Aw least you can come on here and let it all out which is good for you i do hope that you can sit your kids lol kids at that age and talk to them my lkids bless them they are the same they know that i am ill but because i dont look it they forget and think i can still do the things i used to then they realise and bless them they stop in their tracks as they dont like tose me like this it must be hoerrible for them but once you tell them they will prob realise and things will hopefully change for the better for you love to you diddle x

  • Thank you diddle. My eldest is in long term hospital care with personality disorders and she was the only one who asked me for information on my illness, she still doesnt understand all of it but she has more probs than the rest and she is sympathetic. The other two are 26 and 21 and you think as im always there they would care enough to worry. But i may have to be hard but in the end they need me more than i need them to be honest so although im sure wont be easy hopefully will help in long run. I may even suggest i help my son and his mate find a flat together after JUne he may appreciate things more then.

    But if i dont want to keep having a negative life maybe i will feel better pain wise.

    Thanks again all of you. I do love this site. x

  • i know i have tried to stay out of the kitchen as i told him to do dishes, rather than stack neatly he is using the window sill and worktops as a draining board, and the roasting pan, big bowl and saucepan still in the water but as you say if i do it he will keep leaving it.;

    But im slowly destressing so will stay in my room and not see the rest house lol.

    You do have to be hard at times.

    hugs to you x

  • Hi Kialaya, sounds like the best thing you can do is keep out of the way, the more you do the more you are expected to do. If they want to live under your roof then they must understand your rules apply!!.

    Glad you are finding the CBT helpful, it does focus your mind on what needs to be changed and help you to make those changes. Try and chill out and relax tonight and hope tomorrow is a better day. Love Angela x

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