Think the gods are conspiring against me.....

[julieru]

This isn't fair. I have upped my dose of gabapentine to 1500mg (which I know isnt that much) but I feel like a zombie. Plus it isn't controlling the pain. Plus I have split from my partner after a month of rowing so it should be a relief, but he has made it out to be all my fault as per usual, plus I feel like a sack of &$*£, plus I have been wandering round the house forgetting what I am doing or looking for, plus my dogs are glued onto me which is the sign of an impending diverticular flare, plus my guts now feel like I have swallowed liquid lava, so I guess the dogs were right (That'll mean a week in hospital on a morphine drip if I'm right), plus Ive just looked back on this and realised most of it is illegible, so I'll spellcheck it before hitting submit. Dammit, just my life is collapsing round my ears again. Even my carers are arguing with eachother. I give up

[Hidden]

Hi Julie. If you have upped your meds and they are not working, please resee your doc. Try to discard what your partner says, you know how much pain you are in, it isnt your fault you didnt ask for this! Like you i wonder around constantly forgetting what i am supposed to be doing i now write everything down, my memory is so short i cant do anything now without writing it down. My legs feel like they are on fire from the inside constantly but my doc just ups my meds usually amitryptilline but then like you im like a zombie, Do you have any support around you? Try not to feel like it will never improve, sites like this are a godsend as everyone has the same or similar problems. I find i feel better just having a rant at times and get it off my chest. I hope you dont have to go hospital again. xx

[julieru in reply to Hidden]

I have a specialist ME/Fibro consultant. I know I have a long way to go before they change from gabapentin onto something else. Apparantly they just keep putting it up until the pain goes, but only increased every month. Just feel spaced out all the time. Amitryptilline zombified me before I opened the packet! I just couldnt take it at all. I know the thing about the fire in the legs - its constant but no one can see it. The only support I have is 2 P.As (hired) and a partner who just dont get it and I have only been seeing a few months. Better to split now I think than pretend its ok. The lack of support is the biggest problem I feel, but the support from this group helps so much , so thankyou for listening to my rant

[ddg1 in reply to julieru]

Well, my gabapentin was just a hopeless case, it never did work for me. My consultant changed me onto Amitriptyline and Hydroxocoloquine and I have really had an improvement in my symptoms. My worse thing was very very sore skin, it felt like bad sunburn all over my body. I couldnt bear to be touched at all. That has subsided now thankfully.

Good luck with your medication challenges, it seems to take ages to get the correct balance.

Kind regards,

[julieru]

Thanks Chris. I get a flare every few months and the last one was at xmas. I've got pain between my shoulder blades now, which is never a good sign, so i'm going to hit the pain meds and try and calm it down before it gets a grip. Just fed up with everyone leaving me with no support (apart from the group). Its hard dealing with this rubbish by yourself

[jazher in reply to julieru]

Hi julieru,

I am so sorry you are going through a hard time.

This group is an excellent support.

Anytime you need to get anything off your chest you know where we all are.

I hope you dont end up in hospital.

take care, kel xxxx

[Hidden]

Hi please dont get into a state bless you firstly vcall your Gp and explain what has happened or even better get into see him as an emergency appointment today or if not the weekend , he will hopefully sort that out, as for your break up sorry about that but if you were arguing all the time you wre not happy and it is no fun being in relationship like that and after a few weeks you will prob start tofeel alot better about yourself and start to make a new life

your poor little dogs are prob sensing there is something wrong bless them they very clever dogs (pity some partners were not as in tune with us sometimes ) lol no offence to any partners out there i am luck y with mine but we are not all as lucky

dont worry about the spelling we get the drift lol and jus look at this i dont know my brain tells me my fingers are tapping the right the keys but when i look it dont say waht it should on the blog

anyway you take care and get yourself to the doctors and sort out your meds love to you diddle x