Pain

[hitman57]

Hi every one just wanted to say if every one is like me house work it takes so long to do as I have to keep stopping for a rest before I carry on . And it just wears me out and the fact that I keep dropping things then when things go bad I get angry with my self then I try to push my self more and that is a bad idea as all that dose is make things worse anyway we are all here for each other god bless you lovely people xx

[Dizzytwo Moderator]

That's fibro I'm afraid like everyone here I'm no different. 35 years of dealing with it. But you do learn to work with it. And learning to pace yourself is always at the top of my list. No good getting angry or frustrated I've learned. That only uses up your precious energy resources xx

Momo

[Hazel_Angelstar Administrator FMA UK Staff]

Hi hitman, by stopping for rests, although it takes you longer it is the best way to do tasks - it is called pacing

By pushing yourself to do more, you are putting yourself into what I call them crash & burn cycle - where you end up actually doing less because you or yourself into a continual flare

[Blue1927]

I too get angry and very frustrated, I am trying to stop and have regular breaks but I find it so hard as when I start a job like cleaning i’m not happy until I have finished it, so like yourself push myself too hard. Take regular breaks and do not be hard on yourself, we all know what this condition does to us all so you are not alone. Sending big hug 🤗 x

[Dendarling]

Hello, yes that’s the same as me, and everyday again, I wish we cud be out side on the lawn of an old fashioned recuperating home where they bring you G&Ts every now and then 😋

[Blue1927 in reply to Dendarling]

Oohhh now your talking Dendarling, wish we could too 🍹😉

[Dendarling in reply to Blue1927]

Haha 😂 wouldn’t it be great, we all deserve it.

[Blue1927 in reply to Dendarling]

Most definately x

[Welshcatlady in reply to Dendarling]

Dendarling, now wouldn't that be lovely! Only in my case it has to be a vodka and tonic!

[Dendarling in reply to Welshcatlady]

Sounds delicious 😋

[Fibroska]

Sorry to hear your frustration, "Dizzytwo, Hazel... and Blue1927" all made good points.

I was very much "If there's something needing done, get it done" no matter how sore or done in I'll be by the end, getting angry and frustrated; then I went on a Pain Management Programme where i learned to pace, set smart goals, mindfulness and guided meditation.

I am in an extremely fortunate situation, having a totally supportive husband(I don't work), so if it takes me all day to dust the sitting room (normally a two hour job)then it takes all day. I will work for 10-15mins, then same rest period where you want to hydrate, relax, perhaps do a 5min guided meditation etc. and so on until task is complete. I set alarms on my phone to assist with this.

We are all extremely hard on our selves, all the time, and another thing i learned on the PMP is that our Brain is our own worst enemy, it lies to us constantly. Try and ignore the negatives and embrace the positives.

Essentially you have to decide what is most important to you and focus on that, be as positive as you can be and be sure to do something you enjoy every day.

It's hard work and although I am still very much "work in progress", I am feeling the benefits from my new tools.

I hope you feel some relief from your symptoms soon.

Remember and be kind to yourself.

Stay safe, keep well and be strong.

[Julesubu in reply to Fibroska]

You are very right . I did a similar FMS course and listening to your body is everything. Days when I'm totally fatigued or in agony I stay in bed. Days when a bit better I do 15 mins of something then rest. I invested in an auto hoover and it's the best thing ever.

I used to be ott on cleaning pre Fibro but now accept it's not end of world if things dusty. Using aids to avoid bending etc help as also have OA.

[Dizzytwo Moderator in reply to Fibroska]

Excellent reply, I totally agree xx

[Lexapug in reply to Fibroska]

Phones are a good idea. I put reminders in mine. But I have lost my phone for six weeks before, turned up in a storage box. But I don't remember how it got in there😓😞. I have a Google nest which sits in the kitchen and tells me what I have to do for the day.

[Nanie75 in reply to Lexapug]

Dear Lexapug Tell your Google nest from me, you don’t HAVE to do anything! Especially during a flare up. Stick your tongue out at it.

We give ourselves lists and then make ourselves miserable trying to complete them. Utterly barmy. With Fibro my motto has become ‘ can I leave it till another day?’

The world won’t end because you haven’t made the bed or done the washing up.

Teach yourself to shut the door on it and go find peace and quiet and rest. And do what you enjoy while resting. I’m 75 and have become a YouTube addict. I have my phone on darkest - so it doesn’t hurt my eyes.

Sure it’s easier for me as I’m older, took me years to leave lists and must do’s behind.

A brain injury helped.

And now arthritis

Just thought they really should call it

Arthwrongis as there’s nothing right about the shooting pains, dropping things and taking minutes to pick up a pin from the lino.

[Lexapug in reply to Nanie75]

Ok

I don't know how to take this post.

[Dendarling in reply to Fibroska]

We are our own worst enemy, I used to be very active, I cudnt stay still, I would think nothing of cleaning the whole house and doing the gardening and bake a cake all in a day. I went on a course and realised I was a perfectionist!!! An over achiever, unrealistic! I thought it was normal to say I’m going to do the garden and get it all done in 1 day , we have a bit g garden. Instead I have to do a few minutes at a time. If I push myself I will be done in for days, not worth it.

[sgalloway68]

I totally understand that feeling. Thankfully my husband is one in a million and does the housework . I also have arthritis in my spine , hips and Knees

[Ani7]

Hi, I am same as Wednesday I was bit able to move a bit so I sat on my door way which open on the garden and I had my lunch on table and chair. After that no clue where I am. Could not managed to have shower with assistance or change my clothes. Just had a shower and changed this morning. I can only can do when my body is able to do so. However at least I was able to do so a bit not like some week unable to do anything for weeks and weeks. Keep safe

[Hidden]

I really understand this. Pacing is the most difficult thing for me. I’ve lost count of the times when my daughter asks me how I am, we video chat every day since been self isolating, I tell her I’ve overdone it again! Today will be different.

[Dendarling in reply to Hidden]

That’s been one of the hardest things for me too, pacing myself, cos wen u feel great it’s so easy to think I’m okay I can drink it all, but then not able to finish!

[Dendarling in reply to Dendarling]

Do it all

[Welshcatlady]

I am exactly the same, where I could clean the whole flat in a couple of hours, it was taking 4 or 5 hours because I had to keep stopping. Now I do one or two rooms a day, and just put the vacuum over in between. I don't push myself anymore. What doesn't get done today can be done tomorrow. And I also keep dropping things. It's the fibro, but at least on here we can chat and laugh about it. Keep smiling. xx

[sgalloway68 in reply to Welshcatlady]

The dropping of things for me is becoming more intense . And constantly tripping up. Does this happen to any one

[Catsnoop in reply to sgalloway68]

Yes, it happens to me. I’m constantly banging my feet into things out clipping doorways!

[YASMINTINA FMA UK Volunteer]

Yes I differently pace myself by setting targets and stopping for lots of mini breaks, I moved to a bungalow 12 years ago, with the fibro fog as they call it so handy not going up and down the stairs I’ve learnt in the mornings to perhaps get essentials done prepare dinner, or put the washing on, so if later I come to a halt anything else can go into tomorrow’s box. As for dropping things I’m top of the list for that.

[Lexapug]

I can totally relate to everything you said about housework and dropping things. Then kicking and beating myself up about it.

[huan]

Sometimes you have to realize that you need palliative care/carer, no one needs to do housework if it is above your capacities, minimizing your needs based means sounds great.

Being in grieving process of loosing the capacity not being able to care for yourself is sad in itself, I am going through this too.

I used to enjoy cooking for people, travel a lot and treat people really nicely, now I do that within severe limits, which is debilitating in itself.

A carer by law should be assigned to help you with chores in moderate to severe incapacity cases or a pension home by law.

I do not think that the carpet cares that much if it is not hoovered, hah hah...

[Catsnoop]

I don’t know if you can afford it, but while my kids were at home I had a cleaner come in once a week. I figured that I prefer to go to work to pay the cleaner than stay at home and try and do it myself. Then I only had to worry about tidying, not the harder cleaning. I used to think that getting a cleaner in was a luxury but for me it was a necessity - and I figured I helped someone else out with employment.

[ivytrain]

yes l know that feeling it taken me a long while to get the doctor to say what l had and l have to do a little at a time around my house otherwise l end up in pain all over and for dropping things is awful and it awful when you going out shopping l have to pick up things with bot h hands in case l drop it and make my self look a fool l live on my own so l take my time in doing things alday and l got a big garden so l find it very hard on my own

[Bewitch]

Hi all. I have read through eveyone’s posts on the subject of house cleaning, gardening and dropping things. I can relate to all these things and it helps me so much to know that others have the same problems as me. Hearing your philosophy on strategies also helps to reinforce my brain training on pacing - it has been so hard to accept that I have to slow down. My little OCDs of cleaning and being tidy at home and work wore me out even before my fibro diagnosis so sitting when my brain is screaming at me to do the rituals each day is maddening. I have been off work for 4 weeks and want to resume but when do I know its the right time?