Find it hard to put myself first

[PAULINE15]

Hi All. So much going on, my mother, sister and son in bad health and me at my worst, now on sick from work for a month, got my pip face to face at my home on Friday any tips? I’m not good at talking about myself GP is great she’s wanted we to give in a long time ago but I’ve kept pushing myself, she says I play my illness down and must spend my month off thinking about myself, x

[FRreedman]

Oh dear! Stop whatever you are doing NOW! STOP. Have a cup of tea, sit down and relax for 5 minutes. Before you do, please write down everything you have done to make this cup of tea. That includes putting it on your shopping list, going to the supermarket, finding it on the shelves, picking it up, stretching because it was on a lower/higher shelf, carry it home, put the kettle on, pour the water in to the cup, oh damn...walk to the fridge to get the milk out pour the milk into the cup, put the milk back in the fridge, walk back to the worktop, pick up the cup of tea, take it to the table, sit down and drink it. AAAAAAAAHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. No wonder you feel tired.

If you write down everything you do, including when you do it wrong/ forget what you were doing and have to start again, you will give yourself a truer picture of what is happening to you, and you will realise why you are entitled to PIP. PIP is awarded according to how your disease or illness affects you. So if you feel more tired than usual/are more forgetful/can't carry as much shopping as you used to/ can't walk as far, then that is what PIP is for.

Please remember, when you are answering questions about yourself, you must tell it as it is, and not as you want it to be. Good luck.

[PAULINE15 in reply to FRreedman]

Well that made it plain I’m more tired after reading that x 💕 thank you x

[FRreedman in reply to PAULINE15]

Sorry to be so stark with the reply, but it got your attention and it has made you think. You do have to put yourself first. On an aeroplane when the flight attendants tell you what to do in an emergency, they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself before putting them on your children. There is a very good reason for this, if you try to put it on your children first, there is a very good chance that you will become unconscious due to lack of oxygen, similarly, if you don't look after yourself, you will not be able to look after everyone else.

Even though the above is important I got the impression from your post that your bigger worry was the impending visit of the "Pipsquad", and I thought it would give you a better picture, if I could get you to think about what you do every day. I wish you all the best, and good luck with your home visit. Oh yes, please look at the Benefits and Work website, their mock PIP tests are really good.

[PAULINE15 in reply to FRreedman]

Thanks you’ve really helped love a straight talker I’ve not got the energy or a clear enough brain to work out what is being said xx

[PAULINE15]

Thank you will be trying that x

[YASMINTINA FMA UK Volunteer]

healthunlocked.com/fibromya..., hello there , it is hard with our nearest dearest around us being poorly that it puts strain on yourself and differently will make the fibro side of things flare up, very hard I know but with this time off try when you can to switch off whether it’s a book , hobbie, good film now and again, it’s not being selfish but if you become so poorly you will not be helpful to them or yourself. I have posted a link for you which also has a helpline open during the week, I’m hoping it is of some help to you. Sometimes being in your home will feel alittle less daunting for you and I hope that goes okay for you, healthunlocked.com/fibromya..., ive also posted a link if you would like to lock your posts this gives you more privacy as only our community can see, let us know how you get on in the meantime take care x

[Hidden]

Hi

I don't want to panic you but I was told they sometimes ask a question and then further down will ask the same one in a different way to see if you answer it the same. They did do it with me but I was ready and so was my hubby!! It's awful when we have to think like this. Good luck and if you want to ask anything feel free. Love and hugs Lynne xxxx

[releasethemagic]

Beware - the assessor is not your friend. They don't really care what's wrong with you. All that matters is the points descriptors and what you can do or can't do and whether you meet the criteria to be awarded the relevant score. Their job is to score you as low as possible, consistent with what they read, see and hear from you. You need to be familiar with the scores and with what you wrote on the forms. They will go through some of it again, checking for any inconsistency in what you say that means they can ignore the form, or reduce the score. From the moment you answer the door, they are observing you and recording their observations. These observations are used in the report. Are you dressed well? Are you clean and tidy? How well do you walk? Do you make eye contact? Is there any sign of brain fog in your answers? How long did you sit for? How articulate are you?

Treat the assessment as if it was your worst day. If they ask about Good and Bad days, do not go along with it. All days are bad, but some are worse than others. If they can get you to say anything that suggests there are 4 Good days in a week, then you are classed as OK all of the time and get zero points. You can find full details of the scores here:

drive.google.com/file/d/0Bw...

Don''t assume they have read the papers. Some do but many just don't get given enough time. They are expected to complete at least 4 assessments/home visits every day and write them up, so it's no wonder the interviews are typically 30 minutes only. They can't possibly do a full assessment in 30 minutes. Make a list of where you think you score points and make sure you discuss those things with the assessor.

pip-assessment.support/#mai...

Don't let them leave without doing so, as if you do, they will probably score you as zero for those things. If you drive, tell them about difficulties you have, any changes you made to the car. They often write in reports that because you can drive, you must have sufficient muscle strength and co-ordination to dress, cook etc and enough manual dexterity. So zero points for Daily Living. (They may say that as you work, you must be able to do the daily living activities so try to cover that in your answers too). You need to stress the chronic unremitting pain, whether you can only drive an automatic, whether you need a particularly strong power steering to drive, whether you only do short journeys and so on, to overcome this pre-conception/DWP mindset that driving means you are OK.

The process is horrible. If you don't get enough points to get PIP, you must request a full copy of the report, challenge it if it is inaccurate, contains errors or omissions, go to Mandatory Reconsideration and if that fails, appeal. 3 out of every 4 appeals are successful.

My PIP assessment resulted in no Daily Living PIP. At appeal I got the Enhanced Award and Enhanced Mobility, so don't be discouraged at any stage of the process. Keep fighting.

[PAULINE15 in reply to releasethemagic]

Wow that’s a lot to think about, but I get the clear message thank you for taking the time to write all that x