Why is it so damn hard!!??

So im in a heap crying on the sofa. Husbands at work and I've just finished work. I have a friend coming round who I've known for years, I know she won't judge me but I was desperately trying to tidy up for her impending arrival and I just can't do it!! My back is killing me and I've reached my limit! The stupid airer wouldn't stay up and fell on me 3 times. Every time I look up I see more crap on the floor. I'm ashamed of how dirty my flat has got but at the same time I feel powerless to fix it. Husbands idea of tidying up is just to sweep the floor and put the clean clothes away. Never mind the junk that's EVERYWHERE! I feel like I should txt my friend and tell her not to come but then I will be angry with myself as I miss her and haven't seen my friends in months. Plus I've just realised the sofa that I'm sat crying on smells. How do people do this!?

Sorry for the rant but I'm at my wits end!!

16 Replies

  • I would be inclined to talk to your friend and tell her everything, don't put her off that's how we become isolated, if you know her really well ask for help and talk to your Husband, don't be critical just discuss what can be done, I and many here know exactly how you feel. xxx

  • Sending you a big hug, I know just how you feel..x

  • Sorry you're not feeling too good, but if she's a true friend she will see beyond the untidiness, As said when she calls have a good chat eplaining exactly how you are feeling, I'm sure she'll understand, and you will feel better having let it all out 😄

  • Oh hunni :-( friend's don't judge and I'm sure she just wants to see you and comfort you :-) plus she may help you tidy up, even tho you will protest! We all need help. I wish you was close I would come help you....... I feel upset for you x x don't be sad, wipe them tears you ARE not well hunni and this is not your fault! Hugs and I hope you and your friend have a fabulous evening! Go crazy get drunk and watch a chick flick x

  • Chick flick!! Awesome!!!

  • Magic mike would be my pick hahahahaha! Magic mike, pizza and relaxing with my friend's :-) and a pint of wine HA oh I sound like a alchy im not... X

  • And stick a pizza in! X

  • I also know how you feel. When anyone comes over I don't want them to look at my house or take a deep breath! My daughter finally got upset with me about it! In her words , " if they don't like the way the house looks or smells mom. Then they can leave! Our house looks lived in because that's what we do. 4 animals 3 young kid 3 teenagers and 3 adults! It's not ever going to be perfect! Why because 2 adults work 1 adult is disabled. And we love our house and our kids and want them to be themselves!" So don't get down on yourself it's only going to make you hurt!

    So don't get down on yourself it's only going to make you hurt! Then you will have a hard time enjoying the day spent with your friend! Enjoy what life gives you! Tell your friend your house is lived in. Hope you enjoy your stay here I have missed you!

    Hugs and ENJOY YOURSELF!!!!

  • Hopefully no friend will judge you by how your place looks she will just want to come and enjoy your company.x

  • Hey minx, like everybody else has said you aren't alone. Try not to beat yourself up. I think we make ourselves more frustrated because we look at what we would like to be done and we can't do it but actually its a bit like OCD in that nobody else really cares.

    When people visit they are there to see you and just ask yourself 'do you really think your lovely friend is so shallow that she would go and gossip about how tidy or untidy your house is??' I bet she would never do that. Like some of the others have said, she would probably offer to help xxx

    I agree, you could talk to your husband about how you feel - he could do the heavy stuff and you could do light stuff like polish or sit and fold things perhaps xx

    It is awful when you feel that down = forums like this are a great help - just remember you are not the only one xx

    Hugs and hopes for some respite soon xx

  • Life can be so cruel don't get down have your friend round and have fun xx

  • Oh hun, wish I could give you a great big hug right now. Your friend will understand.

    Let your hair down and sit and relax togeather. As all our fibro friends have said it will be alright, you'll probally laugh about it tomorrow.

    Take care and have a wonderful night

    Soft hugs,

    Elizabeth xxxx

  • Sending you love and hugs.

    I think we've all been there at one time or another.

    Hope you have a great evening with your friend. Try to chill and enjoy :)


    Lu xx

  • Hi, I'm sending you a wonderful WELSH CWTCH THERES NOTHING LIKE IT , just imagine this I have a huge Welsh Wool shawl and I will wrap it around myself and pick you up and wrap the other end around you and I will rock you back and fro and pat your back at the same time as as saying NAH NAH NAH NEITHER MINE MY LOVELY. and you will feel warm and wrapped in love in a WELSH CWTCH, shut your eyes and here it is, catch it, feel it and enjoy it.

  • I agree with all the other replies as she is your friend and will not judge you, so enjoy yourself.

    All my hopes and dreams for you


  • If your good friend is like mine are, she will want to come in and get a glass of wine (you have one too, meds permitting), then she'll roll up her sleeves, and quickly get your place in order! Then you two could have more wine, grab a bite to eat, and curl up for the evening, catching up on what's been going on since you last visited!

    Remember how fast you could clean before Fibro?!? My healthy, able-bodied friends can make really quick work of what it takes me weeks to do, if I can even do it at all!

    Do not fret over this ... Either your friend will not have a care about (or even see a problem with) your home and just wants to see you, or she'll jump right in and get it done for you! One way or the other, no worries. Just try to relax and enjoy.

    We have all been there. Big, soft hugs, hon ...

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