Feeling frustrated and I feel lazy

[Mandypandy1969]

Hi all,

I feel I am being so lazy. I can't stay awake in the day. I try and try to stay awake but nod off. I don't get dressed until the afternoon and feel I am being lazy. I have no energy whatsoever. When I do feel a bit more lively, I go for a walk to a park with my friend but suffer afterwards. I have been on gabapentin for a month but my tiredness seems to have got worse along with not being able to go to sleep at night as wide awake. Sleep pattern really has been messed about. I don't do much at all. Just don't have the energy or strength. I hate feeling I am being lazy. My life is a nightmare. Can't do long walks anymore due to the aching in my muscles, back etc. I haven't done adult colouring for months which I loved, doubt I will play golf again this year either. I have to keep my short mat bowls going or will do nothing. Been told I have to go for lip biopsy in due course due to dry mouth etc. Feel low as waiting for tribunal date as d.w.p. Stopped my high rate e.s.a. Have no money to myself with getting £73 a week. Getting me down big time. Sorry for going on. I also have very tender breasts and itchy nipples. Does anyone else have this. My left nostril is always blocked and eyes feel so heavy. Xx

[Jurph]

You're not lazy. There's a huge difference between laziness and fatigue. I'm often called lazy by friends and family that don't understand and it's heartbreaking.

A lot of advice suggests pacing yourself but as you know, it's easier said than done. I haven't mastered the art yet.

You're doing great. You just need to find what works for you. Listen to your body.

[Mandypandy1969 in reply to Jurph]

I know. I am like you, can't pace myself on a good day which there aren't many. my sport picks me up and it's all I have now. can't give it up. had to give up so much stuff. xx

[Margas]

Hi Mandypandy! I as reading through your posts here and your journey is similar to mine. I as diagnosed with cutaneous lupus last September but I know I have other issues. My burning muscles and ribs must be sth related to my nervous system. I am now for two weeks on pregabalin but my stiffness and fatigue continues.And every time I walk more than 30 minutes the next day I can't leave my house. Yesterday a dear cousinne told me she was through divorce after 28 years of marriage and this news was like something has hit my head. My entire body hurt and my head was foggy and confused... I only feel better near the fireplace and by keeping me warm thorough hot bath or heated pads. It must be fibromyalgia or neuropathic issues...

[Mandypandy1969 in reply to Margas]

rheumatologist treated me lupus at first due to high s.l.e. rate I think. now I am being treated for fibromialgia. it's such an effort to do anything, even shower. had to go to the dentist today and pop in the shop in the town for cigarette papers and tips then back home to pop in chemist on way back for my tablets. can't believe how hard it was. I used to be so active and be able to walk for miles. not got the strength or energy anymore. haven't worked for nearly 3 years due to mental health and now this. e.s.a. enhanced rate stopped and waiting for a tribunal as my health is so much worse. d.w.p. are the death of some people and I know why living on 73 quid a week. I am 200 pounds down a month. my friend pays for me to play my short mat bowls, takes me on holiday and fills my car for me. I feel helpless and useless. my mum's a pensioner and has to buy all the food and a lot of rent. I can pay rent and bills money which leaves me with 15 quid a week. thank God I have my best friend. she looks after me and don't let me go without but I feel so guilty. she has noone else and tells me if she hadn't got my friendship she would be so lonely. xx

[Margas]

I am speech!ess. Can't find words. You are very brave and let God bless your friend and you. Hope things got better for you and that you recover your strength...

[mcglada0]

The first part of your text could be me writing it as I feel very similar to you. Permanently exhausted, sometimes lying awake for ages at night and unable to walk as far as I would like to because of pain and subsequent fatigue. I think it’s all very much part of fibro. I do hope that you rest as much as you can just now. You are not being lazy, you have an illness which causes these horrible symptoms. They will pass for a while and you will forget until the next time. I hope that you feel a bit better very soon. X