Since my GP telling me that she believes I have Fibromyalgia I have obviously done my research and unlike my research after my son's Autism/Severe Learning Disability/ADHD diagnosis 22 years ago now, I can feel my depression beginning to lift instead of getting worse. Okay, I now know that I'm looking at a chronic life long condition but at least I know what I'm dealing with and that I'm not going mad!
The number of light bulb moments I have had over the past week or so are incredible and the biggest one was just on waking this morning (in pain and exhausted of course).
I managed my son at home (alone) for nearly 11 years. Given his ADHD I survived all those years on very little sleep and lived in a permanent state of exhaustion and depression. It was about 20 years ago that I was diagnosed with my Hiatus Hernia/GERD, IBS and "Reactive" Depression.
Although it's very much a blur now (my daughter could describe the moment in time better) I can see now that I have been suffering with this condition to some extent since my son was almost 11. I lay down one morning, after chasing my son down the back lane and watching him yet again scale walls and roofs of houses in his "spider man" mode, and simply could not get up again. I had to at that point admit that I could no longer care for him, I was devastated.
Since that time I have been travelling across the country every 4 weeks to visit him in firstly in a special school in Basingstoke and for the past 5 years plus in a special home in Dover (I live in Swansea)! No, there is no provision for him here in Wales as he is extremely challenging and requires 3 to 1 support. Also his placements are never secure so I constantly worry about him.
For the next 12 years I helped my father and step mother build a business and it was a very stressful occupation and my does not do "ill" and I found myself downing the pills just to keep working. Eventually about 3 years ago it all got the better of me and my father and I had a major falling out, which was when I actually listened to my GP who had been telling me for some time that I needed to resign.
There seems to be a question over whether or not this condition worsens with time, in my case it certainly has. So clearly for me it was my bodily/mental breakdown 20 years ago that triggered my Fibro and it has got steadily worse over the years since probably because I push myself too hard and ignored to a great extent all of the developing symptoms. This I can no longer do as for the past couple of years I have had an almost permanent dose of "flu" with migraines, neuralgia, painful and sore muscles, loss of short term memory and inability to concentrate on much, face pain and exhaustion.
I just want to thank everyone who has responded to my posts over the past week or so as you have all been instrumental in at least easing my depression somewhat. I can't tell you how grateful I am to you and l look forward to spending time on here with some incredibly strong and wonderful people. Thank you.
Karen xx
Written by
cuddlyka
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Hello Karen, May I say what a strong, determined and caring person you are to have struggled through so many years of challenging and difficult stressful situations.
But now you have your diagnosis and you are beginning to understand your symptoms, it is now time in your life to put yourself FIRST, and begin looking after your own health. To begin with you may feel selfish or guilty for putting your own needs first, especially after all the caring for others you have done. But remember you are just as important as anyone else. For me the most important of living with this condition is learning to PACE yourself, and take regular breaks and deal with stressful situations in a different way.
So glad that you are joining us here on this forum, feel free to ask questions, and join in discussions. Have you already looked at fmauk.org the mother website for this group, where there is lots of useful information. Welcome again xxx
Thank you for your kind words as another mental issue I have struggled with over the years is that I'm just not good enough! I sometime feel that I've failed my son and wanted to prove I suppose to father that I am good enough!! However, I am now at the stage where I have no choice other than to be selfish and put me first and accept that I have done all that I can for other people. Hope you have a good day xx
I believe you have done what you could for others to the best of your ability but you left one person out YOU! It isn't selfish to love yourself and put your needs first occasionally and certainly not selfish if you are ill and need to! You are worth it and I look forward to you saying this to yourself more often in the future
Look forward to bumping into you (not literally ....ouch!) around the community.
Thank you so much Emma for my morning flowers, what a positive way to begin the day this site will be for me and I do hope that in time I can help others on here (even if it is just a little bit)! Wishing you a good day xx
Sending positive vibes right back! Yes ....all contributions from members when newly diagnosed to those who lived with it for years, all helps as we find connections between us that are not just the Fibro. I am sure you'll fit in nicely
Morning hope you feel a bit better as the day goes on i think stress is a really bad trigger for fibro i myself am a stress head and yes it is a relief to know your not going mad and talking to people through the site has helped me too 👍
Morning -caz, I used to get called Kaz many many years ago now and I too am a great "stress head/worry wort" and I believe stress is a major factor in a lot of illnesses. Wishing you a good day also xx
Hi Karen, you do yourself an injustice. You too are a strong and courageous woman, who has , and still is , coping with so much. You should be so proud of yourself. We all have a life to live, even if at times it seems such a struggle , but you certainly have coped with more than your fare share . I too, have found that chatting on our site , is helping to get things off my chest . Just knowing that there are kind people out there, ready to listen , is of great help. Before I discovered this community, I also felt alone and unaware that there were so many people feeling the same way !! So , now that you and I , and all the others , are chatting like friends , here is a silly joke to make you smile on this rubbish [well it is here in Cumbria] morning ......"My husband just found out that I replaced our old bed with a trampoline ; ...He hit the roof !!!.. Have a nice day , luv Mandy xxx
Thank you Mandy, my daughter has been telling me for years that I put myself down too much. Now that I know what I'm dealing and feel less depressed I can maybe work on building up my self worth somewhat xx
Putting yourself down struck a cord with me iv been like that for years,but I'm now learning to be better,you sound like an amazing women who has dealt with So much!be proud of yourself,and welcome too the site☺see you around an take care of yourself.remember your worth it☺ xx
Hey darling , I know what it's like to have no self worth, been there too . But as long as you have the love and support of people who love and care about you , and your feelings, you can climb out of that dark place, and feel much better about yourself. We only need a little smile, hug, laugh, a day, and that's a great medicine all by itself. ta ta for now luv Mandy xxx
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Thank you
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my fibro life
So much pain
Thank You Westminster
