What do you do when your off sick from work for the 3rd day & your colleague sends you a message telling you how awful it is because it's so busy & she's been leaving work an hour late as she's the only cashier left.

Do I go in despite being in pain from my toes to my wrists to my eyeballs 😢 or do I be selfish & stay in bed...

32 Replies

  • Hi

    Only you can answer that as you know your job and what you are capable of

    I would just say think about any reverse effect going in will have on your health as if you push yourself it may leave to more days of sick .

    Also are you safe to work if you are a cashier and dealing with money I would say probably not if your head is foggy and also taking pain relief would you be able to do your job ?

    I also feel that they are the selfish ones what happened about asking how you are appears to me they are only thinking of themselves .

    Keep the email and show to your line manager if you need to in the future it could be seen as harassment


  • I really really don't want to go in & don't think I'm going to as when I was under pressure being the only cashier because this lady who has sent me the messages was off for 4 weeks I wouldn't have even mentioned to her I was struggling. I've only had 3 days off.

    Don't want to make myself have more days off just by trying to go back too early.

    At the drs today at 11 then it's probably going to be back to bed for me 😴

  • I say, turn off your phone, so you don't have to hear her whinning and being a victim. Take care of yourself. You won't get better feeling guilty and going back too soon.

    Have you tried some slow, in bed, range of motion movements? And honestly as horrible as it sounds rubbing on the sore muscles helps me a lot. As we are all in different places within our fibro, what helps me won't always help another.

    Take care×××

  • Yeah I'm getting more & more tempted to take the sick note the more I think about it as I could go back tomorrow & end up off again next week because I'm no better.

    I had a sort of hand massager that I use with metal balls on it it's energy using it but helps my muscles relax a lot. Xxx

  • Hiya,

    I was diagnosed with fibro in April. And I straight away told my boss, and wrote a letter directly to him, and printed of a copy of the condition and how it affected me.

    First either switch off your phone, or keep it on, and do not reply to any messages from work colleagues unless it is a positive text.

    Start to learn to love yourself , and look after number one that's you.

    Don't feel guilty about work, you having a bad day or week, and have a flare up, let yourself heal. 😀😀

    Pam x

  • My line manager has a sister who has the condition and she said to me oh that's horrible but she still more or less threatened me by saying that she spoke to occupational health and they said something on the lines of being in capability , and she scared me so much iv gone back and I'm just as bad I'm on fased return to work but when that is finished I'm back to doing one week on five days and another seven days I'm dreading 😟 it I know I'm really going to suffer she said she can't accommodate me in the place I work as the don't have any one to cover my shifts if I drop down to three days a week, and she then said I could only get three days if I travel to another area and it would be about another 15-20 min added on to my journey and it's hectic at that time in the morning and that's just going to add to the stress and pain I'm in already, so I had no choice but to go back early as I'm terrified of being paid off .

  • Are you in a union they could help you

  • hi Kayshasmith1 do what you feel capable of not what you feel you should.

    Good look on your journey hun

  • Thank you Hun, my dr was quite insistent on giving me a sick note for a week to rest my body. I've taken it but still in two minds on if to use it or not. I know my body needs it but I'm just too nice & don't want other people to be under stress at work trying to cover for me.

    Keep getting told I need to be a little selfish sometimes as this is only my 3rd time this year of being off sick, I usually go to work even when I'm badly. But sometimes it's just too much as I work full time xx

  • When your off sick,colleagues should not be contacting you about work!!

    It's intimidating!!!

    You should ignore the messages!!!

  • Your off sick and they should respect that.

    If it continues,you should contact HR/and your manager!!

    That's pretty selfish of them to call it message you!!

  • I don't think she was saying it like that she was just having a moan about work not about me being off sick but I hate letting people down so made me want to go in xx

  • I wouldn't go in if I was you, think I would email back sorry not well enough to come in and I know how hard it is being the only cashier as I done it for 4 weeks, try and rest as much as possible xx

  • I haven't gone in today been to drs and they have given a note for 1 week but unsure now if to use it or not as I know they are struggling. Gunna see how I feel tomorrow.

    Home, bed & pain killers for me today though 😊

  • If drs given you sick note you should use it, his given it as he thinks your not well enough yet, xx

  • My girlfriend is like you in response to going into work while still poorly!

    Even today she's gone in with a severe headache and wierd pains she's not had before! She also woke feeling sick and no energy to work but she's gone in because she doesn't want to let the school children down!

    So when she gets home she'll be exhausted, headache still and just sleep. Which then affects her not sleeping well at night!!!

    And she's been feeling like this for almost two weeks now!!!

  • That is me all over I do everything I can for other people and forget to look after myself too. After feeling awful for weeks I hit rock bottom after falling down the stairs Monday morning & decided I needed to have a few days off & I still feel terrible every day I'm off xxx

  • ..but when she's had to take time off, she has a good team that never discusses work while she's off!

  • Hi Kayshasmith1 Thats horrible situation for your colleagues to do that my friend & i totally agree with everything Rose54 had said. Dont be pressurised oor go back until your well, I wouldn't even text her back & when you do go back just tell them your phone was off because you were so unwell. Or tell them you wished you felt well enough to go in but you don't. Your not the selfish one honey, you rest up & get well soon.

    Luv Jan xx

  • I hate it because I look so normal they don't understand xx

  • Really feel for you - I had a lot of time off (months not weeks) recently and my colleagues were nothing but supportive. To start with I did keep in touch quite regularly, but then found - nobody's fault - that I did feel guilty. So pretty much just stopped looking at emails and felt a lot better for not knowing what was going on. But basically that they are busy is really not your problem - you only have to worry about getting well, and that means rest.

  • Easy answer....stay in bed. Your colleague should tell the manager not you! Then the manager should 'manage' and get extra staff in. Not your problem. Rest up. xx

  • I've told my manager i have a note for a week don't think he's happy but hey time to look after me 😁

  • I would ignore such a selfish message, you go in when you are well enough to do so. Going back to work before you are fit enough means you will be back home ill again sooner. What happened to get well soon ? Selfish coworker.

  • I would say it was your colleague being selfish trying to make you feel guilty about being unwell. If it were the other way around you would have to cope. Keep the message you may need it one day. This is harassment. I know what its like as I got harassed by my team leader when off sick from work but I refused to feel guilty (I didn't have the energy to waste). hugs Joolz.x

  • Hi my friend

    I would personally put my health first. I can see that your doctor has given you a sick note so I would try and get a little better before going back. I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck and please take care of yourself my friend.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • You are not being selfish you are to ill to go to work.she was in the wrong by saying that .work should have back up for when people are off .just get better and don't worry .not your problem x

  • Hi, I'm not 100% sure but if you have been signed off by your Dr and you ignore it and go into work would you not be invalidating any insurance should anything happen to you whilst at work?

    Also I'm reading that hypothyroidism is considered a disability is the workplace, so time off for issues related to that has to be considered and recorded differently. I wonder if Fibro would be considered as such.

    But remember your Dr has signed you off for a reason. You need the rest. Your health is more important than anything else.

  • I have handed in the note so looking forward to a week of rest :) xx

  • You are sick, you stay home. Does your place not have many employees, someone who can stand in for you?0

  • You dont beat yourself up...worrying only makes the pain worse...I say this but i do it myself. Just hold onto one thought. You have a nasty and debilitating illness which you didnt ask for and you have nothing to feel guilty for. Just do what you can and look after your own health and life.

  • Hi good morning

    How have you been feeling?

    My girlfriend has had an up and down week so far!

    During the day she's so exhausted, but by evening more relaxed! Tho she keeps being busy!

    This morning was her worst day this week

    She said it was like she had electrodes fitted to her all night and bleeping all night!!

    She's off to work and pooped out!!!

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