Positivity: Hi everyone...I'm Barbara... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

Fibromyalgia Action UK
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Hi everyone...I'm Barbara...a sufferer for 18 years. I wanted to inform those of you who arent aware of this...I'm sure many of you are:-

The more positive people you have around you and the more things you do in your life that make you feel great, the more your FM symptoms will lessen! The way it works is this:- feeling happy increases your serontonin levels....raises your vibration and kickstarts the body's own natural pain killers, endorphins.

I've proved it. I'm a songwriter and positive responses when I send a song to a publisher or record label really make me feel a whole lot better. Falling in love has the same effect and so does great sex with your lover, if that applies! Yesterday my 8 year old granddaughter who I absolutely adore, was h. She's beautiful, loving, kind, wise and thoughtful. She comes and gets stuck in with the dishes (though today, I'm having a dish washer installed) and tidies up. She leaves little letters telling me how much she loves me. I look at her and my spirits soar. Whatever makes you feel great emotionally...do it as often as you can!

30 Replies

Hello Barbara, thank you for your lovely message! :) It was really nice to read. :)

I think we are blessed if we have people around us, I have my hubby and my three children, so I am very fortunate. Some people aren't that fortunate and I think for them it's hard sometimes to be positive or to feel positive. That's where this forum can be a real advantage for them because they can compare notes, air their worries and concerns etc.

I do agree with you, that if a person can think positively things don't seem so bad, pain doesn't feel as intense and generally life feels better all round. So whether it's with family, friends, a forum, support group, wherever you feel comfortable, if it feels good do it! :)

Thanks Libby...my first blog and a good response. I have no family support to speak of but a few good friends and my four cats...albeit sometimes looking after them can get a bit much as I cant have a cat flap in my door. Still they keep me active and my beautiful male cat who moved in with me about 3 years ago seems to have a remarkable healing ability. You cant beat a warm grey paw on a sore spot and a deep rumbling purr! Dont know how to add icons but smiles & gentle hugs to you for your response!


Your first blog was great! :)

We have two dogs and they know exactly when I'm having a good or bad day! Animals can make all the difference can't they. :) Bless you DEstiletto (how I miss my stilettos!) - take care! :D

in reply to Hidden

Hi Libby...

Thanks for replying. I still wear stilettos...usually only for car to bar nowadays. Cant walk in them very well nowadays. I'm still on the dating scene...though have to make it evening meetings...dont have much energy till late afternoon. A couple of months ago, I went by train to meet a guy about 20 miles away. I wore the new heels, forgetting how many flights of steps I'd have to access in the station! I dont like lifts because I'm a bit claustrophobic. For 3 days after my calf muscles were killing me!

I usually tell the guy I'm gonna meet about the FM & ME/CFS because in time I wouldnt be able to hide it, then it's down to them..and me of course! I've been twice married and twice divorced. At 65, I've not met the love of my life yet but never say never!

Hugs and blessings from Barbara xx

I love your blog and stand 100% by your side and agree wholeheartedly :) i have 2 kids 5 and 1 and i work with children with severe to moderate special needs and the amazing feelings i get from that lift me so much :) i cant do my music anymore as my back and arms are too weak but hubby brought me a piano light weight keys so i can sit and lose myself in my music which is such great medicine as you will agree :)

I have composed 3 classical movements for piano, 4 piece choir, 4 soloists and 2 instruments would you mind advising how to go about getting it published please? i would so love to do this?

Thanks again for posting this lively blog really made me smile and so true x

Hi Victoria.

I write chart pop, so I'm contacting record labels mainly...though in the end you need a publishing deal. You can self publish, though. How about contacting the G.I.S.C.. that is the Guild of International Songwriters and Composers? I used to be a member but now I get songwriting opportunities emailed to me by Music Xray..it's possible they may have a classical section, not sure! Thanks for replying!

Hi Barbara

Welcome and gr8 first blog. I agree with you that half the battle in mastering any problem in life is remaining positive. in reality; though we might all work hard to be positive about our situation We deff all have periods of life stressing events which might test our ability to remain positive and I think thats when this amazing little support site comes into its own. A simple visit here can boost your spirits as it allows you to rant moan or scream about the unfairness of fibro but also helps you to continue your battle recharged by the knowledge thats your online friends are having similar experiences and although in pain and sometimes dispair choose to be there to offer you support advice a shoulder to cry on!!! How gr8 is that? These wonderful individuals strive had to offer an invaluable lifeline by collectively acting as a cheer leading squad and just wen uve reached that point of wanting to give up on life they urge you to fight on. Lov this site and the friendship & support given by all those on it :-))) hugs nd once again thanx for the inspiring post x Dixie

Thanks for replying Dixie. There may be info which would interest you in my latest comment. Hope your day is/has been going well...not too pain or fatigue I hope.

Gentle hugs

Barbara in Derby, UK.


Morning,wot a postive blog.

Lovely to read.although we should all be like this sometimes life pulls you down alot.

Depression sits in and worry.

I get up,eveey day and get dressed and put my music on and go for a good long walk down

To the shop.it hurts but the music brings back memories of times of happiness with my kids.

It does uplift me.and gets me going for rest of day.plus our cat who is our baby and the hope and fight left in me to keep fighting for my kids.

Since moving life is a lot better.im more in love with my fella than ive ever been.

We talk abt the future and our wedding.

But sometimes pain sets in from heart abt my kids and i feel guilty again.keep blogging.xx

in reply to Hidden

Oh big hugs and much empathy, Sammy! I understand more than you know! I'm 65 now and lost care and control of my 2 eldest children back in the 70s. Long story and though things were ok until 7 years ago, now they ignore me, which has caused me to lose contact with 4 of my grandchildren...missing 18th & 21st birthday bashes. My granddaughter 18 is still in contact via Face Book and I have 3 granddaughters

by my youngest son 30, by my 2nd marriage, 2 of whom I see regularly, though one with his ex fiancee doesnt live in my area. I have tried to fix the situation but they wont say why they no longer want contact. Trust me, you have to forgive yourself for past mistakes. I'm quite spiritual and had a gifted friend on Face Book, whom I look on as my mentor, who set me on the right path. Keep making positive affirmations and connect with the emotion..imagine being successful and The Universe/God (whichever name you prefer) will at the right time manifest your desires.


I totally agree with you, and I have worked really hard over the last couple of years to change things around and I have ( had ME and Fibro for 13 years now) I think it is so difficult, as it was for me, when you haven't got clue whats wrong with you, everyday something else presents its self, you feel like your loosing control of your life and depression strikes. Trying to think or do anything remotely happy is so hard. Fortunately I have a great hubby and a wonderful family who kept me going. I changed a lot about my life and I was lucky enough to be able to gave up work for a year ( at a very high cost to my family). Things for me are so much better and my fibro has improved dramatically. For some people though this is not the case and thats the reason we must all stick together and support each other.

Hope everyone is doing OK today

Jax xx :)

in reply to Hidden

Thanks for replying Jax. Hope you've had/still having a great weekend, with not too much pain and fatigue. I didnt have much energy till 4pm, which is often the case. It's done nothing but rain for the last few months, here in the UK, though the sun is out now. I hate the overcast low pressure weather...it makes my symptoms worse.

A support network is of tremendous importance and value. This one is better than the one I visit on face book...they dont seem to reply to the posts of newcomers!

Gentle hugs

Barbara xx

Absolutely spot on

After fighting through 18 months of rubbish from DLA and losing my career, the dust has settled back in life, and being left with nothing except a good head and years of trainiing in energy therapies, and a determined not to be downtrodden attitude, I find myself able to say "stuff them all" if "they" give me nothing they cant control me. The freedom the fight has brought about has taken a few months to dawn, but now its here and now I can go back to a little of the "old" me. The "old" me being one who enjoys the company of animals and nature. I paint and draw and sculpt, I listen to what is going on around me, not in the city but in the land. I stroke the cat who adopted me after my dog died last year. I take photos. I share time with positive people, which is a change for me as having been in therapy circles for so long I had so many negatives to "work" with. I have started to stick my head above ground level, and guess what......... the barren landscape I left has disappeared and I can see the trees.

The fact that the sun is shining also helps ;)

Great blog and thank you for sharing

:) NN

Thanks for replying NN...see my comment earlier today for info which may be of interest to you!

Glad to hear you're staying so positive.

Hugs and blessings

Barbara in the UK xx

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in reply to Hidden

Hi Lynn

I thought the opening ceremony for the Olympics was awesome...such a great vibe! A coming together of people from all over the world...such love and happiness! What an amazing co-incidence it's 2012, a year when humanity can be united in love and peace...every single one of us can make a difference! How amazing is that!

You may be interested in my latest comment, made earlier. In short, we can change our brain chemistry to overcome these symptoms of pain and fatigue. We have forgotten the old ways, natural medicine and the way the mind can affect the body to set the healing process into action.

Big hugs and blessings

Barbara..in the UK

Definitely a great post! We have a lovely, highly psychic (and psycho) cat that has brought a lot of love, joy and attention (his motto is 'born to lick') into both our lives. I try to stay positive, do things that make me happy (movies, and lighting a Yankee Candle tart to make the house smell nice!). I think it's when things happen that are serious -and out of our control when things start going downhill. For me/us, we are gearing up for a court case with a lender. Our home is on the line...due to their incorrect and lack of communications. And our first solicitor ended up being fraudulent, and we are now gearing up for a complaint to the Law Society. Legal Aid doesn't cover all our costs due to hubby's (still rather low...) Income. So I try to be positive, but tbh, I have a lot on my plate and hanging over my/our heads right now. Perfect timing for fibro to move on in! But I still keep telling it, its not welcome here!

I understand that our mental state does have quite a bearing on FM. However, it's not always easy to be positive when you are in pain and exhausted. I get stressed out when I see that there is so much that I need to do but can't because my body won't let me then I go into a downward spiral when I see things that need doing but can't.

Maybe, Barbara, you could become my lover and prove that point? LOL

in reply to roundthebenz

I totally understand you, I do agree positivity does help, and I do try, really I do, but it's very hard when the love of my life died aged 50 nearly 9 years ago, and left me to raise my 7 year old grandson, and cope with my drug addicted daughter! As well as fibro I have arthritis, and now diabetes, so more often than not I feel crap! I tried dating, but most of the guys my age (55) want 30 year old blondes, (they forget they've aged as well), and the one's who seem anywhere normal are often liars and cheats! This is not just my theory, I did have a b/f a few years ago, he really made me feel good about myself, but he lied through his not very many (yuk) teeth! Owed lots of money and expected me to bail him out, at the risk of losing my house, so I've given up on men, I won't settle for 2nd best, and anyone I've come across in the past 6 years, (since I felt able to think about another man) have all been 2nd, 3rd or even 4th best. so I will remain single unless my knight in shining armour happens along, lol, not holding my breath. My grandson and my pets currently 2 dogs, and 3 cats have been what keeps me going. But some times circumstances do plot against me, my grandson is now 16, and teenage moods really gets to me these day, they seemed so much easier 15 - 20 years ago, but I wasn't alone to cope with it then.

Hi...I know exactly what you mean! My house is a tip at the moment but I dont have the energy to clean and hoover through today. The low pressure weather always affects me badly. A good friend bought me a 2nd hand dish washer which I saw in the paper! I have little family support so I was very grateful to my friend, friends since 1993. I dont have a lover but I'm taking applications now lol, so no relaxing massages either! I have however acquired a leather drop back relaxer chair with heat and you can plug a lap top, phone or whatever into a point on the arm, which lifts up. All singing all dancing.

Hope you've had/are having a great pain free week end.

Barbara...in the UK xx

See the reply to Stormy lady. It was actually meant for you but I typed it in the wrong place. I cant even blame fibro fog.

Anyway, if you're a man, I shall keep you in mind, lol. I must tell you though, it has to be with someone special or it doesnt work. That was a mistake I wont be repeating,

Take care

Barbara xx

I fully understand your situation. I was left by my first wife and the children stayed with me, both girls and I saw them through their teenage years. I kept working at a very high pressure job but with great rewards.

When I started dipping my toes in the big wide world of going out and mixing again I was horrified and embarrassed at what sort of men get the rest of us a bad name. It seemed that too many were lying cheats, usually married looking for something else, short, fat bald and no teeth thinking they were God's gift.

However, I did find that a lot of women were little better!! Looking for a meal ticket. I was suspicious of one lady friend so told her that we couldn't go out that night as I couldn't afford it. LOL, never saw her again after that!! Then there were the ones who thought that I was looking for a surrogate mother for my girls, I wasn't.

Then it is said that men are like parking spaces, all the good ones have been taken!!


Hey guys...

So many great responses to my blog! I live in the East Midlands in the UK, where it's been raining for months on end! This kind of weather does NOT suit those of us who suffer pain through Fibro, Arthritis or Rheumatism...and makes chronic fatigue and sleep problems worse. On the other hand, I dont think I would be able to handle the high temperatures experienced in parts of the US. I'm actually chatting now to guy on a dating site, who is working in Iraq teaching air traffic control symptoms to the Iraqis...he says it's 48 deg.C out there though in the Winter months, it drops below freezing. I've had my fingers burned a few times through online dating but chatted to and met some really nice guys. Mostly I prefer younger guys, because I'm a young looking 65. I met one guy who has CFS, though not badly enough to stop him working. I also have many friends on face book and one young lady has set up a face book page for people with FM & ME/CFS. Several ladies on there are healers and one gifted lady who has become a really good friends, sends me healing. I think it takes the edge off the pain and helps me relax. My chronic fatigue and lack of refreshing sleep are worse than my pain usually, though it's quite bad in my back and upper arms some days. Before I go:- HAS ANYONE TRIED OR LOOKED INTO THE GUPTA PROGRAMME OR MIKEL THERAPY? Apparently stress or viruses affect the AMYGDALA brain structure which sends faulty signals to the HYPOTHALUMUS...this is the gland which controls all our body functions. This is why we have such a variety of symptoms! It's lactic acid apparently that causes the aches and pains...it's why sleep doesnt refresh you....your brain thinks you are active when in fact you're asleep. So and excess of lactic acid builds up and hey ho, you wake up stiff and achey, like you'd been on a marathon run. We need to reprogramme our brains and IT CAN BE DONE. I hope to try the Gupta Programme soon...the doctor Ashok Gupta cured himself of ME and his practice is in Harley Street. You get DVDs and it's to be followed over 3 months. 97% in trials said they's improved and 63% recovered completely. £119.95 or £199.95 if you also want one to one tuition. If you havent googled it, I would recommend doing so. With Mikel Therapy, it involved travelling to the Caribbean...though whether you can now get the therapy online, I'm not sure!

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in reply to Hidden

I thought this one had gone through scientifically based trials. To the best of my knowledge, nothing is available on the NHS. There is a money back guarantee and testimonials but everyone is entitled to their own opinion and mine is that £119.95 is a relatively small amount to risk. We agree that positivity is beneficial but the boosts you get are short lived. I want to try something which is offering a better than average success rate.

With regard to the Gupta program, please be aware that Ashok Gupta is not a doctor. His theory of ME/CFS as applied to Fibro does not actually fit very well with the known science from genuine medical research. And as far as I am aware, the research into the approach has all been done "in-house" and has not been published in any peer-reviewed journal (the normal basic measure of vaguely credible research papers).

These therapies are also purely psychological approaches.

Hi Barbara, yes, I think I am a man!! If I'm not I have got something wrong. Pain wise I am doing pretty well at present as I have just had two months in Australia!! Winter there and warm without being too hot and plenty of bright sun and clear blue sky works wonders.

Whilst it has done the aches and pains a lot of good I still get the foggy vision, am having that right now and a few of the other symptoms but I can put up with them with much less discomfort. I am taking advantage and getting as much done as I can, pacing myself, don't want to overdo it. I would like to keep up the momentum but fear that once we get the six months of dull dismal grey weather through the winter it may come back in.

Positive thoughts, I hope, will keep me going.

xx R

I can usually manage the pain with ibuprofen...it's the chronic fatigue that causes me the most problems, Lynn. Thanks for the suggestion though!



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