Love and other drugs.

[Berthy]

I cry every single time I watch Love and Other Drugs.

I cry because she fights and pushes him away.

Because she sees no real future until him.

Because she's in excruciating pain so frequently.

Because you watch her deteriorate through the duration of the film.

Because she's angry, volatile, over-sensetive, cold, a b**ch senseless, heartless...and someone decides she's worth fighting her for..

I cry because it's such an accurate reflection of my life it hurts. Apart from the end, where she's happy, and in love.

Because this isn't a Hollywood movie, this is real, and I can't just pause it or stop at any point.

I have to keep fighting. Every. Single. Day.

But I don't know if it'll keep going.

[TheAuthor]

Hi Berthy

I sincerely hope that you are feeling as well as you possibly can be today? Your post was beautiful in its sadness, but that kind of sadness should not be endured in the real world but only in the movies.

The cast are such beautiful and flawless in their looks and demeanor, another fiction of the movies as when I get up in the morning, I need a shower, a shave, to brush my hair and awake to the world around me.

I always believe that their is a very fine line between unhappiness and depression. Sometimes the line is so fine that we cannot see the sunlight, but I agree with Dante, when he wrote:

'As I find myself in the middle of the journey of my life, I cannot see the straight road and my path is lost'.

I think what he meant by this is that life is more worth living if you cannot see the road ahead and it makes things more interesting?

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken

[Berthy in reply to TheAuthor]

Unfortunately, I still haven't slept so I'm actually worse, yay! Thank you though.

If you've not seen the film, I'd really recommend watching it...it really hits you hard watching it yourself. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because it's "just another silly chick flick" or something but whatever it is...it's damned special.

I guess my trouble is I've been in the middle so long I've lost all sense of intrigue too. That doesn't help.

Thank you sweetheart, and to you.

[TheAuthor in reply to Berthy]

Hi Berthy

I get quite emotional watching sad things on the TV, I think I am a modern liberated man!

Take care

Ken x

[Hidden in reply to TheAuthor]

As my gran use to say, if you knew what the day held u probably wouldn't get out of bed. Big cheer for ignorant bliss

[Berthy in reply to Hidden]

Here, here!

[Julie63]

Big very gentle hugs, Berthy. I cried when I saw that film too. But it isn't just in the films that have a happy ending. I met my 'Prince Charming'and we've been living almost happily ever after. But, I wasn't sure I was worthy of being loved, I didn't have quite a Cinderella upbringing, but it was clear who my mum's favourite was, and it wasn't me. Anyway Berthy, what I'm trying to say is that it always looks as though you're never gonna get a decent break in life, but then life kicks you to show you don't know what it's got in store for you, the little trickster! I know it sounds like a cliche, but we don't know what is around the corner, and just like the girl in the film, we all deserve a little love in our lives, give it a chance, loving hugs, Julie xxxxx

[Berthy in reply to Julie63]

Thank you sweetheart, your time to reply is much appreciated, trust me<3

Love and hugs xx

[wallflower_fairy]

Hi darling,

You know, I was looking for that film the other day on Youtube but I can't find it! I really want to see it. I'm sure I'll get hold of it eventually. It's definitely something I would cry at.

I don't really know where to start or what to say, Ken is right that your post is beautiful and precious in it's grief. You are truly gifted in your writing. I know it doesn't seem it at the moment but you're lucky you still have those abilities to hold on to. You still, it appears on the surface, have your own mind (although I know I'm not the one to judge, only you know if that's really true). But you're writing is still concise and accessible for others to read and appreciate as well, and it's very hard finding that balance.

My writing is all over the place (although I'm glad you find it homely at any rate ). I tried posting last night, twice, but it never made it to this forum due a combination of fog and other symptoms, conspiring to stop me from being able to express myself. I was satisfied with what I'd written - it was also a good length so I know other people wouldn't have a problem reading it either, but just as I was to post it I deleted it instead. Argh! I just feel like my only outlet is under threat, and I'm going to have nothing left to alleviate my stresses or help myself. Like I'm losing my gripe on everything. I'm sorry for going on, I know I moan about this a lot. I won't hijack this post with my plights any further. I'll update you properly some other time in an email, when I can. In the meantime feel free to add me on Facebook. You know my name from the email. I got it because I'm admin for one of the societies at uni, but I've figured I might as well make the most of it by adding a few friends too. I'll give you my phone number at some point too so we can text, it's something I should have done ages ago.

They say awful things happen to the most beautiful people, and you're such a beautiful person Beth, I hope you can see that and take some comfort from that. You're worth fighting for.

Hugs and healing fairy sparkles,

wanderingwallflower xx

[Berthy in reply to wallflower_fairy]

It's on putlocker at the moment babe, I watched it on there a couple of days ago (:

Thank you...my writing and drawing are kinda all I have left, and it's recently been so bad I've not been able to draw and, being an art student...that REALLY doesn't help. As I'm sure you can imagine. I've been relying on my writing a lot more recently, I'm just glad it still works, as it were.

Any time you need help with writing, I'm here. I wrote a 6 week essay in a day and I only attended 1 of 7 classes for it, and got a B+ so I can honestly help with writing. Not an awful lot else but still. You're not hijacking anything, silly. And I wouldn't mind if you were, your troubles are mine darling...honestly.

I shall attempt to locate your email and add you darl, I'll let you know if I can't ><

I'd love that (:

Beautiful is a terribly strong word...thank you though. Really, it means a lot.

Love and gentle hugs<3 xx

[wallflower_fairy in reply to Berthy]

I watched Love and Other Drugs yesterday at my friends house. It's an amazing film, very sad (apart from the ending).

It's awful isn't it? It's beyond awful. I'm in exactly the same predicament because, on the whole of it, I am a writer and since that terrible flare up I had over a year ago, I couldn't do it anymore, even after the flare up eased. Thanks so much for the offer that's an incredible result! - but I'm not sure what you could do, no one can make me the person I was before. It's just got worse and worse and now I feel it's something irretrievable. It's completely broken my heart to see different parts of me just fading or slipping away from my grasp. It's so strange to come from being a student that highly on commended on how talented I was at my writing to someone who has scribbles, question marks, and corrections over her assignments. It's probably better that I give up my course as a bad job. But seeing as Grandpa is moving in and sleeping in my room until we get another house, I just feel as if I've got nowhere to go. No one around me can comprehend the sadness or the rage I have. It's like I'm a shell of the person I used to be. Every time I try to make things better the opposite happens. I don't have anything left now. I used to be a singer before all this happened, I haven't properly sang in ages. Anyway, chin up as they say.

Well, you are.

Hugs and Sparkles,

wanderingwallflower xx

[Berthy in reply to wallflower_fairy]

Oh sweetheart...I wish there was something I could do. But I really do know how you feel...I look at myself now as a frail old woman that can't do anything herself rather than a 19 year old with a "life" ahead of herself. It's exceptionally difficult to explain to outsiders how it feels and how different you once were etc. It's horrible.

Stay strong and know I'm always here...whenever you need me.

Thank you sweetie, love and hugs<3 xxx

[wallflower_fairy in reply to Berthy]

I know you do, honey. I just had to let off a bit of steam I suppose. Things keep going wrong for me and I'm getting increasingly frustrated, so it keeps coming out.

It saddens me to see you going through the same thing, all of us. We deserve better. It's not fair. I would take all your suffering in addition to mine so you wouldn't have to suffer anymore. You deserve better.

I wrote poem a few weeks' and I've just posted it now if you're interested. I'm trying to hold on to whatever writing skill I've got left. I think what it comes down to is that I am able to get it to the same standard, it just takes 3 times the amount of time that it used to. I'm always having to read back over comments on here and edit it 3 or 4 times just so people can understand it!

I'm here for you too, I mean that.

Love, hugs, and healing fairy sparkles,

wanderingwallflower xx

[Berthy in reply to wallflower_fairy]

Let out anything you want to sweetheart. I don't mind.

That's exactly the same as me. I would take every last bit of pain and suffering from you as well if I possibly could. But instead I shall have to choose to support you no matter what and help in any way I can.

That's exactly what the edit button is here for though sweetie (: I'll have a look for it, if I actually manage to remember to do so. My memory is horrendous at the moment.

Thank you darling, the same applies as I'm sure you know.

Love and hugs <3xxx

[wallflower_fairy in reply to Berthy]

I guess one of the more positive spin offs of us having this horrendous condition is that not only did I have the fortune of meeting you, but it's probably brought us closer too. I will do the same for you. But you know I'm never one for pushing you to tell me things or asking you questions, rather you're welcome to come to me and then I will help you with whatever you want... okay?

Yeah, I don't know what I would have do without it. Haha it's a godsend. I have so many ideas to make this site better than it already is. I will we had more opportunity to make suggestions really. Like if we could save our posts on to your accounts before posting them, I reckon that would help, but I digress.

Alright hun: I'm going to send you an email with everything you need. My full name (if you wanna add me on Facebook), my phone number (so you can text me anytime, or even call me screaming down the phone if you want), and my post which you can open and read at your leisure. The choice, of course, is totally yours.

Oh by the way, I got a B+ for my last assignment. Not too bad even if I do say so myself.

Love and hugs <3 xxxxxx

[msBrightside]

I watched the film recently had saw it at the cinema years ago has a whole different meaning now! Relationships are hard when you are ill all the time but the right person will stick around. I don't even give myself a chance. Went on a few dates but I end up being cold to any guy I really like, because I secretly don't want to start anything. "/

Hope you find the right person or already have it can be someone to help you through it.

Hugs x